Is this bad or not?

Well, If by private dance you mean sex and by stripper you mean prostitute, then yes.

Otherwise, not really, kind of standard stag night procedure. But maybe ask yourself what it is the stripper offered that you're not comfortable asking from your girlfriend.

it depends on your relationships/girlfriend.

I mean some things would be an obvious "of course thats alright" and somethings like cheating or whatever would be an obvious "of course not" but this is more of a grey area that we can't really answer. You know your relationship better than anyone here do you think its ok?

it depends on your relationships/girlfriend.

I mean some things would be an obvious "of course thats alright" and somethings like cheating or whatever would be an obvious "of course not" but this is more of a grey area that we can't really answer. You know your relationship better than anyone here do you think its ok?

I don't think it's ok, hence guilt. However, I asked her before hand saying this may happen with my friends. She was sad but said I always am loyal and nice for the past 6 years.

I think it's cheating no doubt. Nipple and bum kissing e.t.c.

your post implied a standard dance, as in you sit and they dance infont of/ on you not you kissing their nipples and bums

edit: obviously these things happen but its not what I would think of someone who was saying they had a standard dance and were worried about what their girlfriend would think meant

Well it was supposed to be a standard dance but she asked if I had a girlfriend and tbh was quite OTT. I am aware this is isn't standard stuff but she forced herself on me.

I think it's cheating no doubt. Nipple and bum kissing e.t.c.

well anyway despite my surprise at what the dance actually contained my point is still the same, it depends on the relationship. Maybe you should talk to your girlfriend about it if you are so unsure/feeling bad.

Yeah, I stand by what I said before then. Kinda wrong, I'd be really unhappy doing it myself, let alone if it was the other way around.

As someone said, maybe it would be ok in some relationships. But in my opinion, it's a bit out of line. Remove the paid element from it, would your girlfriend let you get away with doing that to a friend of yours?

To be honest, I wouldn't call this cheating. Cheating, in my mind, is when there's that moment of betrayal, when one partner decides they don't care if this hurts the other person sometime down the line. Doesn't really sound like you've had that.

Sensible post. Yeah it was a mixed bag because she gave me consent to have fun. But same time neither of us knew it would be like this. I think she regrets it and tbh so do I. She will always be first for me and it is a setback in our eyes as I want to marry her and vice versa.

I don't think it counts as cheating- firstly you were honest about where you were going and what might happen, and secondly you didn't really want it. This kind of stuff must go down all the time on stag and equivalently on hen nights before people get married. I wouldn't worry so much.

It's scary right? This last year I've had so many potential cheat opportunities, and the horrible realisation that it could happen and be gotten away with so easily really makes you realise how much your partner means to you. Sounds like you told her, and things are all on track, happy for you!

If I found out my boyfriend were doing that, I'd be hella pissed. Firstly, she can't give him anything I can't and secondly it's a waste of money! So in my opinion, it is wrong - especially if your girlfriend doesn't know and you know she would be against it.


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