Everything is ruined.

I haven't read your other thread, but it sounds like you're blaming her for your violence.

From what I can tell, ex-gf was being abusive verbally. This went on for a while, one day she was shoving him while being abusive. She is surprised that he hit her and played the victim while people only took her side of the story and white knighted that girl. Causing this dude depression.

I haven't read your other thread, but it sounds like you're blaming her for your violence.

Edit: I just read the other thread and I have no idea why other people are defending him so much, it's disgusting. He punched her because of things she was SAYING. There was no physical violence on her part (in this thread he said she was shoving him around, but on the other thread he just said she removed his finger from the book he was reading, which obviously means he's trying to escalate what she apparently did).

Physical violence should never be a response to anything verbal. There is literally no excuse for it. Not to mention that you're not hearing her part of the story and you don't know what's been said on his part. All the support that this guy is getting from this forum is basically self validation and it isn't deserved in the slightest. By validating him you're making him more likely to feel justified in doing this sort of thing again in the future.

To the OP: get counselling and sort your anger out. As awful as it might be, punching someone TWICE for saying something about a dead relative is not something most people would do. "I lost it" is not an excuse and it will never be accepted by anyone with a sane mind. The only reason that people in real life are taking your girlfriend's side is because they've heard her side of the story and yours too, so they obviously made their own minds up. This forum only heard your side of it, and you shouldn't take comfort in what they're saying.

"I lost it" is, for me, a perfectly viable excuse in that situation and, as has been mentioned above, is enshrined in law to mitigate crimes as serious as murder. But it seems that, though physical assault is piddling by comparison, because this situation involves an interaction between a man and a woman you do not consider this applicable.

It is absolutely disgusting to say something like she said. While it's a sad state of affairs all round, he cannot be blamed for acting irrationally in this case. Remember that most men have some measure of natural aggression and they are constantly censuring themselves for signs of abusive behaviour.

Of course physical violence should never be a response to a verbal attack. However, this is the real world, where people often act impulsively rather than rationally. Coupled with a history of emotional abuse on the part of the girl, and her goading him physically by pushing, and then the contemptible dead person comment, it is really not surprising that he reacted impulsively. You might expect a woman in such a situation to hit her partner as well, and that is from a gender with less potential for animal aggression.

The advice to take away from this for men is to break up with your girlfriend if she becomes emotionally abusive rather than wait for a flashpoint like this to happen. They must not suppress their feelings just because they feel that as men they should be able to take it.

"I lost is" is never a viable response for anything. People can always restrain themselves no matter how angry they are. I would be able to restrain myself if my boyfriend said something like that to me.

If "I lost it" was a good response then people would never be in jail for murdering people who called them *****.

As for "all men are aggressive", that's a ridiculous excuse and I think most men would disagree with you that their aggressiveness overtakes their rational thinking.

I know for a fact that if I was in that situation I would not hit anyone and I would be able to restrain myself.

Also, call it as sexist as you like but I don't think that it's nearly as bad when a woman hits a man than when a man hits a woman. I'm a fairly strong woman and if I ever pushed my boyfriend he would barely budge (tried that), whereas if he pushed me (and he did that before) I wouldn't be able to stay standing.

Also an important point: he punched her twice, not once. If it truly was impulsive then after the first punch he would be horrified at what he did and stop. I think that he's just trying to make excuses for himself.

"I lost is" is never a viable response for anything. People can always restrain themselves no matter how angry they are. I would be able to restrain myself if my boyfriend said something like that to me.

If "I lost it" was a good response then people would never be in jail for murdering people who called them *****.

As for "all men are aggressive", that's a ridiculous excuse and I think most men would disagree with you that their aggressiveness overtakes their rational thinking.



I know for a fact that if I was in that situation I would not hit anyone and I would be able to restrain myself. Also, call it as sexist as you like but I don't think that it's nearly as bad when a woman hits a man than when a man hits a woman. I'm a fairly strong woman and if I ever pushed my boyfriend he would barely budge (tried that), whereas if he pushed me (and he did that before) I wouldn't be able to stay standing.

Also an important point: he punched her twice, not once. If it truly was impulsive then after the first punch he would be horrified at what he did and stop. I think that he's just trying to make excuses for himself.

that's disgusting, im not surprised people are not talking to you. if you have the guts to punch someone, especially if you're in a relationship with them, then you should have the guts to cope with the consequences of your actions. No matter what she said to you, you should never lay a finger on anyone, so you deserve what you get. there is a huge difference between being verbal and being physical so you do not deserve any sympathy, you can control your fist so do not be looking excuses now. There are plenty of people who have gone through worse situations than you, for example abusive families AND relationships but they do not lash out on people, instead on things like objects or do the justified thing like go for a walk. im sure you wouldn't like getting punched so deal with the consequences of your actions instead of hiding behind everyone, and everyone stop giving him a chance to feel justified, no need to pacify him.