My boyfriend shoved me while drunk, what should I do
Hi.
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
My advice to you is that you guys need some time apart. He has to learn to deal with his intoxicant problems. And though you guys may not be together after that you can still keep in touch with him, cause during that period he will need it.
Stop excusing his behaviour with "his ex and alcohol made him do it." (Actually,, have you got both sides of the story or just his version of the last relationship?). It's not 'heart-wrenching' to walk away from someone who has no trust in you not to cause difficulties and has no communication skills other than swearing and violence. The next time it could be harder shove or you he's punching, so don't wait around; end this now.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi.
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
As someone who has been in an abusive relationship there are so many red flags, you need to walk away and end it. What you may not realise is that you are excusing his behaviour and that's enabling him to be like that. It doesn't matter what you've been through in life, who started it, there's no excuse that can justify hitting another person.
He needs professional help with his anger issues, stop excusing his behaviour, he's violent. You're still young, I get that this is your first love, but you will find the one, it will take time but you will find him.
You already know the answer but are afraid of what it will mean for you. You need some good friends around you now to watch out for you and help the transition.
You foresaw the problem when "last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things" and then you told him "..if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you..." And guess what? He did. And now you have to follow through. It will be painful. He will promise everything under the sun; that it was the drink, that he loves you, that it won't happen again. But he said those things before. And it did. Please, please don't become the physical and emotional punch-bag for this person. If he has issues then he needs to seek counselling and that is not your role. You deserve respect. You deserve to be treated for the person you are. You don't deserve for that special time to be forever tarnished (nor your future happiness) by mistaken loyalty and devotion to someone who has demonstrated on more than one occasion that he will put his feelings and his needs before yours. He isn't showing love, just the signs of being a manipulator and a bully.
You foresaw the problem when "last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things" and then you told him "..if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you..." And guess what? He did. And now you have to follow through. It will be painful. He will promise everything under the sun; that it was the drink, that he loves you, that it won't happen again. But he said those things before. And it did. Please, please don't become the physical and emotional punch-bag for this person. If he has issues then he needs to seek counselling and that is not your role. You deserve respect. You deserve to be treated for the person you are. You don't deserve for that special time to be forever tarnished (nor your future happiness) by mistaken loyalty and devotion to someone who has demonstrated on more than one occasion that he will put his feelings and his needs before yours. He isn't showing love, just the signs of being a manipulator and a bully.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi.
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
Walk away!! However painful it may be for you and however much he says he will change, he won’t, because he can’t until he has a real wake up call and gets the help he needs with his anger issues. You may think that if you show him that you love him that he will feel reassured and will change. He won’t. He will continue to find excuses for his behaviour and you will continue to live a succession of ruined moments or worse. Save yourself the pain and get out NOW!
Relationship over, this guy has a mean streak and can't handle drink, never a good combination. Someone's ongoing aggression evolving into physical attacks isn't 'A mistake' it's the near inevitable escalation.
Honestly, by the time you've told your parents and friends what happened, there's little chance of salvaging it anyway, they'd never let it lie,
Honestly, by the time you've told your parents and friends what happened, there's little chance of salvaging it anyway, they'd never let it lie,
Original post by Anonymous
Hi.
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
Maybe you just need a different man.... or someone who wants to help keep you from feeling down
Original post by Anonymous
Hi.
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He is my first love, a love I have never ever felt before.
Let me prefice this by saying , when we’re good we have the best relationship ever, it’s amazing. However , his previous relationship was very difficult and so he has insecurities etc, moreover he suffers with anger problems.
There have been times before where he has gotten angry, called me nasty things and even punched the bed. He has threatened to break up with me which obviously puts me through a lot of stress, and then he takes me back. I told him the last time we had a fight and he got angry and called me some vile things, if you ever do that again I am going to have to walk away, no matter how I feel about you.
I had a very special day on Tuesday, a day I will never get back, and he got drunk on the night out after and got angry and ended up shoving me, but just a little one, he walked up to me shoved me and smashed a glass. My friend had to separate us. I was just shocked so didn’t say anything back
He has blamed it on the alcohol and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, very apologetic etc.
I’ve been heart broken since it happened, not only did he ruin a day I will never get back, but a person I trusted most did something I never thought he would do. I’ve told him this has ruined everything , due to my friends who he once had amazing relationships with, no longer want to see him, and I’ve yet to tell my parents but I know they will go mad.
I’m just looking for advice really. If anyone has been in similar situations and how they handled it, if they have stayed with someone who has made a mistake and if it worked out, or how to deal with a heart wrenching break up
Once he has done something like that, you can almost guarantee that he will do it again and again. Move on. You deserve better, and it might do him some good also as it will serve as a reminder to him that his behaviour was totally unacceptable.
(edited 9 months ago)
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