Dumper versus dumpee
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Original post by Beckyweck
Dumped one, never been dumped. I dumped him then a week later he said he didn't wanna be in a relationship anyway. Dunno if that also counts as being dumped, I'd already dumped him!
You won..
Original post by Millie228
Girls are more often the dumper before sex has happened (which technically just is a rejection), guys are more often the dumper into the relationship. Basically because a lot of guys are looking to be single/have casual sex before they find the one they have to marry (low standards for sex, high standards for commitment), whereas women want commitment from an early stage and see relationships as the only means of being with someone.
This is the grand picture, not every case of course.
This is the grand picture, not every case of course.
Agree, dumping before sex is just rejection - can be hurtful mind as expectations have risen! Not sure about our analysis of men vs women's intent. But I also think girls typically tend to dump more often in short term, fully fledged, relationships due to feelings of being overwhelmed or something better coming on offer.
Original post by Beckyweck
Dumped one, never been dumped. I dumped him then a week later he said he didn't wanna be in a relationship anyway. Dunno if that also counts as being dumped, I'd already dumped him!
Yeah, that's called saving face.
Original post by Millie228
The dumpee is the one getting dumped.
Haha, blonde moment!
Dumped three guys, mutual with one guy.
I've never dumped anyone, but being dumped is obviously worse. It annoys me when my female friends in these situations say how difficult it is to dump someone. When you dump someone, at least you have the opportunity of handling it well. Whereas, when you are dumped, there is always an initial, reactionary period which you have little control over.
The worst thing is the way in which some girls aren't decisive enough about their feelings towards someone at the beginning, only making it clear they don't want a relationship / sex with the guy at the latest possible moment.
The worst thing is the way in which some girls aren't decisive enough about their feelings towards someone at the beginning, only making it clear they don't want a relationship / sex with the guy at the latest possible moment.
I don't think my last one actually ended like directly. We had an argument and stopped talking... That was it. So i guess neither of us was the dumpee or dumper.
Out of four, the first was mutual, she was heading back to Perth. Next two I dumped them, and the last one dumped me via text after she cheated on me.
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Being dumped is horribly painful if you cared about the guy/ from a long term relationship. It took me over a year to even begin to stabilize myself and stop torturing / blaming myself.
BUT, I found that when I was the dumper myself, I had already done my grieving before I broke the news, whilst i was deciding that dumping him was the best option- so the aftermath wasn't so bad! Besides, he cheated on me!! It was so over.....
BUT, I found that when I was the dumper myself, I had already done my grieving before I broke the news, whilst i was deciding that dumping him was the best option- so the aftermath wasn't so bad! Besides, he cheated on me!! It was so over.....
Original post by Future African game vet
Being dumped is horribly painful if you cared about the guy/ from a long term relationship. It took me over a year to even begin to stabilize myself and stop torturing / blaming myself.
BUT, I found that when I was the dumper myself, I had already done my grieving before I broke the news, whilst i was deciding that dumping him was the best option- so the aftermath wasn't so bad! Besides, he cheated on me!! It was so over.....
BUT, I found that when I was the dumper myself, I had already done my grieving before I broke the news, whilst i was deciding that dumping him was the best option- so the aftermath wasn't so bad! Besides, he cheated on me!! It was so over.....
Agree in both regards. It feels to me that, although the dumper has more time to mull and worry about it, by then love has gone and some colder sentiments make it a reasonably callous task.
Original post by Zarek
Agree in both regards. It feels to me that, although the dumper has more time to mull and worry about it, by then love has gone and some colder sentiments make it a reasonably callous task.
oh, i was never callous - I've been the receiver of callousness and that caused some quite deep psychological scarring! Though indeed, the "love" as gone by the point I ended it- I mean.... he cheated on me and was talking to this girl on skype quite openly around me, it was completely over as soon as I knew,
Being dumped is worse then being the dumper.
It's a power thing, leaving the dumpee feeling inadequate.
It's a power thing, leaving the dumpee feeling inadequate.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by fat_hobbit
Being dumped is worse then being the dumper.
It's a power thing, leaving the dumpee feeling inadequate.
It's a power thing, leaving the dumpee feeling inadequate.
Probably true, but very circumstance dependent. Like I imagine dumping someone because their an ******** is pretty easy compared with what I did, dumping someone whose lovely and nice, and you're just not that in to
Original post by Mankytoes
Probably true, but very circumstance dependent. Like I imagine dumping someone because their an ******** is pretty easy compared with what I did, dumping someone whose lovely and nice, and you're just not that in to
Yeah - the latter happened to me.
Really hurt a lot to be honest. Still does.
Being dumped probably hurts more, but I think I would prefer that to be the dumper - in a somewhat selfish way, if I dumped it means I failed in the first place to choose someone who later on would not go on to make me happy.
That said, in all my first relationships I dumped (or they 'dumped' me after finding out I was going to leave them, but it comes down to me having already moved on, and them not =\).
And my two more recent ones, one just sort of drifted apart, and the other I was sort-of 'dumped' - although we both like each other.
That said, in all my first relationships I dumped (or they 'dumped' me after finding out I was going to leave them, but it comes down to me having already moved on, and them not =\).
And my two more recent ones, one just sort of drifted apart, and the other I was sort-of 'dumped' - although we both like each other.
Dumped someone once (she was nice, just didn't want a relationship).
Have indirectly rejected a whole load of girls though. Never got rejected though as I am a coward and have never formally asked anyone out.
Have indirectly rejected a whole load of girls though. Never got rejected though as I am a coward and have never formally asked anyone out.
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