Don't Want To Have Sex With My Beautiful Girlfriend

PLEASE KEEP ANON

I'm 24 and I recently met a girl (23) that is literally perfect, she's beautiful, intelligent, funny and we get on incredibly well.

We've engaged in a relationship and things are going very well, however I know that soon we will be engaging in sex and I'm terrified.

I've been in university for 4 years now and I haven't had a girlfriend throughout this time or even for the immediate years that preceded it, which is why I am so happy with this girl I have met at the moment, I just know that there could be real future in this relationship.

The reason why I am terrified is that I suffer from premature ejaculation, and can't last longer than a few minutes during sex. I knew this day would eventually come (when this would impact on a future relationship of mine) and I want nothing more than for her to be happy, and knowing she won't be, will inevitably lead to the relationship having a very real finite duration.

In anticipation I have tried everything over the years to make myself last longer and to no avail, I think it's just imprinted in me that I will never last longer than 5 minutes in bed.

My question is, is it possible to satisfy a girls sexual needs without long lasting penetrative sex, I don't care about myself having orgasm and I will make sure that she is as satisfied as possible throughout the time we are having sex, it just won't all be penetrative.

What I am asking girls (especially those who have any of you been in this position before) is this a sustainable outlook to have on the relationship? Or will the day come when she realises that this just isn't enough for her.

I am willing to make this girl so happy in any way possible and and I'm sure will one day she will mean an incredible amount to me. I suppose I am just looking for some realistic opinions on the situation and even though I appreciate that you guys don't have enough information to make informed analysis, it would be great to hear what you think the future may have in store for us?

i thought premature ejaculation was when you couldn't even penetrate without 'finishing' just calm down and go with the flow, never over think sex just go with your instinct good luck bro

Reply 21

OedipusTheKing

11

Original post by Type 052D

Don't do it with her. Sex before marriage is bad and risky.

Thank you Elder Missionary. Your enlightenment has saved the world again. Really.

Reply 22

The Angry Stoic

18

Original post by Type 052D

Or give him an increased risk of STDs and teenage/unwanted pregnancy.

There's no increased risk of STDs if you are in a monogamous relation whether you are married or not. Unless you are talking about a magic God given STD.

And as for unwanted babies there's these things called condoms. It's like a little hat for your willy.

Reply 23

member1201401

Original post by Anonymous

So basically since my post, we have gotten a lot closer and I have managed to give her lots of orgasms through foreplay (oral etc.) which has also been very satisfying for me. However the one time she touched my penis, I ejaculated after like 2 thrusts, absolutely the worst feeling ever.

My question is, after 2 months we still haven't had sex, and I'm pretty sure that she must think something is up, is this long without sex an issue?

Should I just explain my issue and deal with the consequences, obviously I hope we can work through it but I don't have high hopes.

She's probably already realised your problem. It's going to get out sooner or later so I personally would just get it out of the way in an environment you've set up rather than it being revealed in a more embarrasing one.

Reply 24

Type 052D

11

Original post by Jacob :)

There's no increased risk of STDs if you are in a monogamous relation whether you are married or not. Unless you are talking about a magic God given STD.

And as for unwanted babies there's these things called condoms. It's like a little hat for your willy.

Don't you think it's better to preserve your virginity before marriage? It is safe and better for your future children!

Reply 25

Anonymous #3

Talking is literally the best policy. Take it easy the first couple of times, and don't expect it to be perfect, no one's first time ever is. But if you both talk about it, and approach it in a laid back manner, you'll both be more relaxed the next time, and the next, and the next, until eventually things start to get easier. Being able to talk to each other and even laugh at some of the things that go wrong can be one of the best parts of a relationship.

Also, from a girl's point of view, lasting forever isn't a good thing. Plain-old penetrative sex gets boring pretty quickly compared to foreplay.

Reply 26

kunoichi

20

Original post by Anonymous

The issue is, since then, I have given satisfied her (non-penetratively) but she hasn't touched my penis since, as I don't want to experience the embarrassment again.

My question is, after 2 months we still haven't had sex, and I'm pretty sure that she must think something is up, is this long without sex an issue?

It's her birthday the week after next and it would be incredible to have intercourse on that night (which is what she may be justifiably expecting) but I don't want to let her down. What is the next best thing for me to do?

Should I just explain my issue and deal with the consequences, obviously I hope we can work through it but I don't have high hopes.

I think you need to talk to her, let her know whats going through your mind. When she turns around and is fine with it, then it will be a lot of worry taken of your mind and the resultant relief may actually help.

Other things you can do apart from intercourse and the oral you are already doing is grab a couple of fun toys from ann summers or somewhere maybe? Then you can use those to do the whole penetration bit.

Reply 27

kunoichi

20

Original post by Type 052D

Don't you think it's better to preserve your virginity before marriage? It is safe and better for your future children!

Is there any proof whatsoever for this ridiculous fact?

Reply 28

kunoichi

20

Original post by Jacob :)

It's like a little hat for your willy.

Nearly fell of the bed laughing :laugh:

Best way to describe a condom ever. +1 for you

Reply 29

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

PLEASE KEEP ANON

I'm 24 and I recently met a girl (23) that is literally perfect, she's beautiful, intelligent, funny and we get on incredibly well.

We've engaged in a relationship and things are going very well, however I know that soon we will be engaging in sex and I'm terrified.

I've been in university for 4 years now and I haven't had a girlfriend throughout this time or even for the immediate years that preceded it, which is why I am so happy with this girl I have met at the moment, I just know that there could be real future in this relationship.

The reason why I am terrified is that I suffer from premature ejaculation, and can't last longer than a few minutes during sex. I knew this day would eventually come (when this would impact on a future relationship of mine) and I want nothing more than for her to be happy, and knowing she won't be, will inevitably lead to the relationship having a very real finite duration.

In anticipation I have tried everything over the years to make myself last longer and to no avail, I think it's just imprinted in me that I will never last longer than 5 minutes in bed.

My question is, is it possible to satisfy a girls sexual needs without long lasting penetrative sex, I don't care about myself having orgasm and I will make sure that she is as satisfied as possible throughout the time we are having sex, it just won't all be penetrative.

What I am asking girls (especially those who have any of you been in this position before) is this a sustainable outlook to have on the relationship? Or will the day come when she realises that this just isn't enough for her.

I am willing to make this girl so happy in any way possible and and I'm sure will one day she will mean an incredible amount to me. I suppose I am just looking for some realistic opinions on the situation and even though I appreciate that you guys don't have enough information to make informed analysis, it would be great to hear what you think the future may have in store for us?

Stop convincing yourself you won't last and start convincing yourself you will. When I met my bf he was a virgin, and the first day we ever had sex, he lasted about a minute which I totally expected due to being a virgin.

That's not the point though, the next day we went out, we got hideously sun burnt but we tried to do it anyway later not thinking it would have any effect and he couldn't keep it up, probably due to the fact he was burnt. Anyway, after that we tried the next day but he was so convinced that it wouldn't work that it didn't!

He could keep it up if I used hands, mouth, anything but actual penetration. As soon as that came up he didn't come up...

Eventually he stopped convincing himself it wouldn't work and lo and behold, it worked again! Have a little self confidence. :smile:

Reply 30

username242140

14

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah I've been doing this for years to no avail, admittedly I know last for a couple of minutes as opposed to seconds, but I feel it's still not going to be enough. I will keep at it to improve even more however.

For some people, a couple of minutes is enough. It's not true that everyone wants to go for hour long romps. A couple of minutes is pretty good actually, a few minutes of this, a few minutes of that. Keeps it more interesting than just penetration for 20 minutes or whatever.

Reply 31

Anonymous #5

Original post by Anonymous

PLEASE KEEP ANON

I'm 24 and I recently met a girl (23) that is literally perfect, she's beautiful, intelligent, funny and we get on incredibly well.

We've engaged in a relationship and things are going very well, however I know that soon we will be engaging in sex and I'm terrified.

I've been in university for 4 years now and I haven't had a girlfriend throughout this time or even for the immediate years that preceded it, which is why I am so happy with this girl I have met at the moment, I just know that there could be real future in this relationship.

The reason why I am terrified is that I suffer from premature ejaculation, and can't last longer than a few minutes during sex. I knew this day would eventually come (when this would impact on a future relationship of mine) and I want nothing more than for her to be happy, and knowing she won't be, will inevitably lead to the relationship having a very real finite duration.

In anticipation I have tried everything over the years to make myself last longer and to no avail, I think it's just imprinted in me that I will never last longer than 5 minutes in bed.

My question is, is it possible to satisfy a girls sexual needs without long lasting penetrative sex, I don't care about myself having orgasm and I will make sure that she is as satisfied as possible throughout the time we are having sex, it just won't all be penetrative.

What I am asking girls (especially those who have any of you been in this position before) is this a sustainable outlook to have on the relationship? Or will the day come when she realises that this just isn't enough for her.

I am willing to make this girl so happy in any way possible and and I'm sure will one day she will mean an incredible amount to me. I suppose I am just looking for some realistic opinions on the situation and even though I appreciate that you guys don't have enough information to make informed analysis, it would be great to hear what you think the future may have in store for us?

Original post by Anonymous

Hey everyone, first of all I would just like to say thank you for all the replies back to my plight, I just have a question to ask about the situation I have found myself in.

So basically since my post, we have gotten a lot closer and I have managed to give her lots of orgasms through foreplay (oral etc.) which has also been very satisfying for me. However the one time she touched my penis, I ejaculated after like 2 thrusts, absolutely the worst feeling ever.

The issue is, since then, I have given satisfied her (non-penetratively) but she hasn't touched my penis since, as I don't want to experience the embarrassment again.

My question is, after 2 months we still haven't had sex, and I'm pretty sure that she must think something is up, is this long without sex an issue?

It's her birthday the week after next and it would be incredible to have intercourse on that night (which is what she may be justifiably expecting) but I don't want to let her down. What is the next best thing for me to do?

Should I just explain my issue and deal with the consequences, obviously I hope we can work through it but I don't have high hopes.

I've got the same problem, am 19 and been in a relationship just over a year now.. For me it was slightly different as i only found out i suffered from PE with my gf, but we've talked about it since, and she doesnt seem to mind :smile:

we just work around it.. I've found for some reason if we have sex a few days in a row i last 5+ minutes, but if we dont for a few days then i can last anything from a few seconds :L Generally we will just have 'take 2' after an hour or so.. or even quicker :smile:

Its not ideal and I too do anything and everything i can to improve, but just wanted to give some encouragement that it can and should still work out fine - shouldnt be a deal breaker anyway!
As with everyone else, I'd recommend talking to her about it.. its going to come out anyway (is that a pun? :tongue:

) so you may as well get it out of the way :smile:

and to more directly answer your first question.. if you can't satisfy her by other means (which you can, but its nice to do both) then thats what take 2 is for :tongue:

Reply 32

Metropolis

16

Original post by Anonymous

PLEASE KEEP ANON

I'm 24 and I recently met a girl (23) that is literally perfect

literally perfect

literally

stopped reading thread as there must be no problem

Reply 33

Blind Ferret

11

What about having a tactical-****? Will that work? Personally, I like to knock one out about 30-45mins before she comes round then when we get down to it, I'm OK.

Not a longterm solution but it will help as you're trying to get into it.

Reply 34

Kabloomybuzz

19

If you really have tried everything have you considered seeing a doctor. One of the most common effects of many anti depressants for men is delayed ejaculation and it can be prescribed for PE. Its a bit of a last resort but if its a long term problem that's not getting better it might be worth trying. You do run the risk of having the opposite problem... But its something to consider and the doctor might be able to offer other options

Reply 35

Anonymous #6

This sounds just like my current boyfriend.. it doesnt bother me at all. Hes a very confident guy otherwise but when things get intimate he often suddenly goes soft, especially if we change position. He puts it down to nerves. Every single time, I tell him not to worry and stop thinking about it cause it doesnt bother me at all. Sometimes we'll try again/try to get him hard.. or we'd do other things or sometimes if i think hes really down about it i just give him cuddles and kisses so he cant talk, to stop him from apologising. we have spoken about it plenty of times, he says its embarassing and thinks hes "****" in bed. I genuinely dont see it like that at all. Hopefully this girlfriend of yours is similar. At the end of the day, the emotional **** is more important for girls anyway. I've accepted that this may lways be what hes like because hes otherwise comfortable around me and not nervous etc.. its not that a big deal. For the few minutes that he does last, its great. :smile:

If youre a lovely person otherwise, it really shouldnt matter. And like you said youre willing to satisfy her in other ways.. use your tongue and fingers - this is often better than sex anyway. Good luck, hope it all works out for you :smile:

Reply 36

FinTheHuman

Let it be something you guys work on together. If my boyfriend lasted 5 minutes I'd try to help him as a team. Make sure you guys work as a team. When you get deeper into the relationship you guys will have a closer bond and work as a team to resolve any situation :smile:

Reply 37

The Angry Stoic

18

Original post by Type 052D

Don't you think it's better to preserve your virginity before marriage? It is safe and better for your future children!