"I can't go out with you because my boyfriend doesn't like me going out with other.."

This is yet another thing I don't understand... Why can't my friends go out with me? One has told me that her boyfriend doesn't like her going out with other males... But we've known each other for years... What happened to "mates before dates"? Another told me that she doesn't like being alone with males but I'm just a friend, I can't see what the big deal is... Why can't some females who have boyfriends just go out with their friends, their boyfriends aren't everything...

Reply 1

Treeroy

18

Possibilities:

1) Boyfriend is insecure and they don't want to upset him
2) She'd prefer to spend her time with her boyfriend than you
3) You aren't a particularly close friend

Reply 2

Riku

2

Going out with guy friends-OK

Going out with guy friends-Not OK in an exclusive relationship

Personally, (from current experience), putting guy friend before bf ALWAYS-not very nice waaaa

Reply 3

Jelkin

17

I don't know. Some men are really possessive over women, but it's up to the women to not put up with that **** in their lives. I certainly wouldn't. And it works the other way too - some men feel they can't do anything in case they upset the girlfriend. Geez.

Alternatively, they could be using their boyfriends as an excuse not to see you. I'm sure that isn't the case though :h:

Reply 4

Kim-Jong-Illest

16

just take them out lol, deal with the bf the morning after tingz

Reply 5

MylittlePlusle

OP

1

Original post by Jelkin

I don't know. Some men are really possessive over women, but it's up to the women to not put up with that **** in their lives. I certainly wouldn't. And it works the other way too - some men feel they can't do anything in case they upset the girlfriend. Geez.

Alternatively, they could be using their boyfriends as an excuse not to see you. I'm sure that isn't the case though :h:

Boyfriends DO NOT own their girlfriends, they should have the right to go out with their friends, if he doesn't like it it's his problem.

Reply 6

nicatre

13

From observation this happens more the opposite way around.

I'm not sure why people act like it though. If you're with someone there should be complete trust etc

If I was with someone who prohibited me from seeing anyone I'd tell them where to go.

Reply 7

Capn cas

11

Original post by MylittlePlusle

Boyfriends DO NOT own their girlfriends, they should have the right to go out with their friends, if he doesn't like it it's his problem.

The opinion is strong with this one. :cool:

Reply 8

bstar

Original post by nicatre

From observation this happens more the opposite way around.

I'm not sure why people act like it though. If you're with someone there should be complete trust etc

If I was with someone who prohibited me from seeing anyone I'd tell them where to go.

Right on! I totally agree!

Reply 9

reapingunicorn32

6

Original post by MylittlePlusle

This is yet another thing I don't understand... Why can't my friends go out with me? One has told me that her boyfriend doesn't like her going out with other males... But we've known each other for years... What happened to "mates before dates"? Another told me that she doesn't like being alone with males but I'm just a friend, I can't see what the big deal is... Why can't some females who have boyfriends just go out with their friends, their boyfriends aren't everything...

In these cases, the boyfriend(s) sound(s) very controlling and he/they feel(s) insecure about the relationship. Unless it's the girl themselves, I'm not too sure. Ask them about it and see what they say?

Reply 10

Jen Anne

6

Original post by MylittlePlusle

This is yet another thing I don't understand... Why can't my friends go out with me? One has told me that her boyfriend doesn't like her going out with other males... But we've known each other for years... What happened to "mates before dates"? Another told me that she doesn't like being alone with males but I'm just a friend, I can't see what the big deal is... Why can't some females who have boyfriends just go out with their friends, their boyfriends aren't everything...

What are you asking them to do?

It sounds like it would be something that sounds like a date, before they say their boyfriend wouldn't be comfortable with it, and they think it wouldn't be appropriate while in a relationship.

If she is saying she doesn't feel comfortable being alone with you, it sounds like you're just inviting her over to your place, which also sounds like a date or just an attempt to try to have sex. It also shows that you might have already said or done something to make her feel uncomfortable, and that you're just after sex, or carried on pursuing her sexually or romantically when she is not interested, to make her feel like she wouldn't feel comfortable to be alone with you.

Or she may have been sexually harassed, sexually assaulted or raped by another person / people, which would make her feel unsafe to be alone with guys. If that is the case, and if you really are only interested as a friend and respect her boundaries, then have understanding for her feelings (it's not personal to you, even if we know someone is safe PTSD from traumatic events make our bodies feel we are not safe and causes anxiety and fear), suggest to hang out in a group or in a very public place so she feels safe.

Reply 11

Jen Anne

6

Original post by bstar

Right on! I totally agree!

Unless what you're arranging to do is a date, its with someone you fancy, or you're arranging to hang out alone at night at their/your place.

That's not ok if you're in a relationship, it's cheating.