Did your parents influence your choice of university or course?

Yeah but the other user never said that, here's the exact quote

"I did tell her there is an expectation on her "

So your claims that he expected his daughter to get a particular job are just wrong, due to the fact that he never stated his exact expectations he just said that they existed, so I find it odd that you appeared to think it was wrong for a parent to have any expectations of their children


Getting back to the thread, yeah my parents helped me choose a degree, but I did some extra research just to make sure that it was what I wanted as well, after completing A2 History I couldn't stand doing it at university, I'm quite glad I was persuaded tbh

That expectation can mean grades or whatever not necessarily job.

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Yeah but the other user never said that, here's the exact quote

"I did tell her there is an expectation on her "

So your claims that he expected his daughter to get a particular job are just wrong, due to the fact that he never stated his exact expectations he just said that they existed, so I find it odd that you appeared to think it was wrong for a parent to have any expectations of their children

It was quite clear what Alfissti meant. Unless he posts to contradict me, it is perfectly reasonable to assume he meant that his daughter either goes to a certain university, does a certain degree course, enters certain a profession or earns a certain salary. I think you're arguing for argument's sake. I have nothing else to say so I won't be replying to you anymore.

As a parent who has been actively involved in son's uni application process (researching courses/suggesting subjects he had not heard of before/attending open days etc) I read this with interest. I don't have preconceived ideas about the jobs he should do, but I would like there to be a job eventually! I also think I have a pretty good idea about where his strengths lie and some relevant life/work experience that an 18 year old simply can't have gained, however well-informed.
So whilst the courses and unis were his decision, we gave him a lot of guidance because he was under a great deal of pressure at school last year and a bit unsure about whether to apply for 2014 or not. I do agree that in an ideal scenario, he would have undertaken all of the research independently, but people don't all mature at same rate or have a clear goal about what they want to do after school and I had more time to do the research than he did, so was trying to be helpful and to give him options to consider.

My expectation is simply that he will make a reasonable effort to come out of university with the best degree he's capable of (or thereabouts!) and that he'll make the most of some of the non-academic opportunities university life offers too. If he is not prepared to do that, then he would be better off taking a gap year or seeking an apprenticeship/job and we could save the huge amount it'll cost us to put him through uni. Of course if he makes the wrong choice, under-performs, or decides that uni is just not for him, it won't change how we feel about him in any way or the level of support/encouragement we're prepared to offer in the future.

Eminently sensible in every way.

Thank you
It seems that all my research may be called upon soon for clearing purposes, as his IB results mean he has missed both his firm and insurance offers, although nothing has altered on Track yet.

I am a firm believer in the idea that sometimes the doors you don't mean to open are the right ones!

I too tend towards a belief in things usually working out well in the end. It's also a sad fact that the most independent kid often becomes a child again when things go wrong. I'd be inclined to give both universities a call to see if they have made a decision yet, just in case, so that your hard work still to come doesn't turn out to be a waste of effort.

Thanks, he has written to both of them, as has his school, explaining that a number of his papers are being re-marked since they were very close to upper grade boundary and that family circumstances at exam time were hideous (bereavements and serious illness). I suspect it won't change anything, but at least he has provided them with the information to consider.

Yes, post-event mitigating circs don't cut much ice, I'm afraid, but it isn't over until it's over. I'd call them, myself. Human contact is much more immediate and likely to be successful in getting the information. (It won't change the outcome of their decision.) They seem to be taking their time updating Track this year. I don't have anything to do with IB, but a mosey over to that section out of interest seemed to suggest that no one had had theirs updated this morning. Of course, it could just be that the only ones posting about it were those whose Track hadn't updated.

Yes, and I guess that those who are in limbo are far more interested in track being updated than those who know they met their offer conditions! He is only a point off his insurance offer, so we are still optimistic that they'll take him as it's a large course (300) and his predicted grade was well above the entry requirement. It may well be a case of sweating until 14 August as many unis won't decide without knowing 'A' level outcomes.

Will stop hi-jacking this interesting thread and let everyone get back to complaining about their parents
As an aside, mine gave some advice, but more or less left me to it. I used to think that that was a bit slack, whereas I now realise that they trusted me to make the right choices and that it's really quite difficult to strike the right balance between interested and controlling!