High Maintenance Boyfriend

Have you spoken to him about this? I mean, I love my girlfriend and want to spend lots of time with her but ALL THE TIME?! Wow... that's erm... a bit odd... doesn't he even want a little bit of space for himself every so often?

No-never. And he acts like I'm really cold because I do..

Ok... that's kind of weird and abusive... did you let him know you were going beforehand or did you just go without telling him? Either way his response is really out of order though I can understand why he'd be annoyed if you didn't tell him.

He knew a week beforehand and tried to guilt trip me into not going, but I decided not to back down this time..

To be fair, if my gf doesn't even acknowledge my texts when I know she isn't busy I get kind of annoyed... but I don't make a big thing of it... I mean does he not get that you have your own life?

I get that if I wasn't busy, but when I am it's just a pain in the ass.

Hmmm... I get where he's coming from... but crying and stropping is just a little odd... maybe some sort of massive insecurity?



That is a really unhealthy way of dealing with things and exceedingly immature of him...



I can understand why he might not be totally comfortable with you being around other guys... I've been cheated on a couple of times in the past and it can make you a little uneasy... but he really needs to learn to control that...

I know a couple of guys that get upset when their gfs kiss their girl friends... My gf is bi and we have a deal which is 'you can either have both of us or neither of us'

He's never been cheated on and I have never cheated, and never would. Oh that's fair enough haha

Kinda needy... He's starting to sounds extremely narcissistic and you not having him in your picture makes him feel less special



Sounds like some sort of obsession...



Ok seriously? What the hell...



Next time, go give him a massive hug and see what he does.



Controlling much...



To be fair, this is basically the only issue I have in my relationship. I'm not *quite* as cringy as him but I like to be made to feel special. If you want this to work out then you'll both need to compromise on this one and I don't think he's willing to do that...

I've tried so hard to compromise I really have, trying to accommodate to his needs, but he just always wants more. I would have dumped him long ago but I find leaving people really hard, and I know that if I do he's going to make it really difficult for me, like will beg to get back with me and be nagging me all the time and making me feel incredibly guilty. I'm worried it'll just mess me up, but the thing is I don't feel like I can talk to him about any of this because he just throws a tantrum every time I try.

Get out.

Is he 13?

All jokes aside, he sounds

I say you end it while you can. This isn't good for your wellbeing, health and state of mind.

You might care for him but his mental health is not your responsibility, especially when you are subjected to constant abuse and controlling behaviour from him. At this time you should think about taking a step back and prioritising yourself for the time being, as the relationship you are in is very, very far from a healthy one. And staying in it is certain to take its toll on your own mental health and self esteem as well.

He will never sort himself out if he doesn't get to see in practice that his current state is pushing away and harming those he values the most. At present his toxic behaviour is working out for him because you're sticking around and so he sees no reason to go through a long and strenuous change process.

You can't please him and he certainly can't please you.

He's using emotional blackmail to control you. Every time you don't stand up to him you're giving him encouragement.

Just tell him you can't live like this anymore and go.He'll shout and scream and cry but you won't hear because you'll be half way down the road.

You don't like him ( witness the post), you certainly don't love him. You do however love the idea of loving someone and he's the one around now. You're making the mistake of thinking you love him because you love the person you want him to be but isn't.

Somewhere along the line you'll wake up and wonder what you ever saw in him. Well, you saw what you wanted to see but not what was there.

Start by making a list of his vices and virtues. I'll start you off... he's controlling, aggressive, manipulative, selfish, immature, hypercritical. angry, obsessive, abusive.makes you feel you're in the wrong .....Now make a list of more than 10 things that are good about him.

Oh, you can't think of that many? What a surprise. Go, go now, go. Breathe a sigh of relief, go.

Just thought I'd let you all know, I've done it. I've finally dumped him it's difficult but I'm sure it'll be better in the long run. Atm though it doesn't feel that way :P *le cry* haha

Agreed, I dated a guy very similar to yours and he made the break up as needlessly painful and difficult as humanly possible. He kept begging to get back together and when that didn't work he resorted to emotional blackmail. When that also didn't work, he got very aggressive and nasty.

I would also recommend you cut contact as soon as possible. I stupidly kept in contact with him for a while after due to meddling friends and relatives telling me that I "had to be there for him until he moved on" but he never wanted to move on, he just didn't want me to move on either.

Get out now. Make sure you're in a public area so he can't do something stupid (or do it by text if you're that scared, as harsh as it sounds) and immediately stop taking his calls. Destroy your sim and get a new one if you have to, just make sure you're not available when he inevitably freaks out.

That's no reason not to leave. You should never stay with someone just b/c you're scared of whatll happen if you leave them

I sympathise w/your situation but you really do need to man up and do the right thing here OP. He seriously sounds abusive

Don't hold yourself back with labels like "I find leaving people really hard." Just do it.

Break up with him ASAP for your own good; if when you break up with him he seems like he's about to harm himself (or you), call the police. Seriously. It's not a bogus call if you fear that there's a legitimate danger to either one of you. The police should be able to help.

OP - this is crazy, why would you do this to yourself? You can't be in a relationship where you have permission before you wear something. And why do individual tasks need to be done together - e.g showering? Does he think you're going to have a quickie with the damn rubber duck?! Does he watch you taking a dump as well?

This is totally crazy - please please leave, guys like this can only get worse. I know you love him, but please value your life and love yourself more - you don't deserve someone like this.

Also - do you really really think that most other girls would love him? Because I can tell you right now, there's a lot of girls out there who wouldn't take kindly to a guy telling them what to wear or throwing tantrums for not saying ily back, being aggressive and protective etc etc. Don't kid yourself that you're lucky to have him. because you're really not.

Just thought I'd let you all know, I've done it. I've finally dumped him it's difficult but I'm sure it'll be better in the long run. Atm though it doesn't feel that way :P *le cry* haha

I shouldn't really be saying this but he has depression and I feel that if I did end it then he might, you know.. do something stupid. He has done before