relationship obsession

Hi all,

I have always been quite jealous and insecure when it comes to relationships, but over the past few months it has got really bad.

I am obsessed with the idea that my boyfriend is keeping things from me or has secret feelings for other girls or he is with me for the wrong reasons. He tells me he loves me a lot and reassures me he isn't interested in anyone else.

Thoughts keep popping into my head and it becomes hard to ignore. I then end up reading through conversations I have had with him to ease anxiety or help me rationalise my thoughts. Nothing seems to work recently. I spend hours a day thinking about it which makes me depressed. Sometimes I believe my thoughts and other times I just think its all based on insecurity. This is even more confusing.

Does anyone have any advice or been through the same thing? :-/

Reply 1

C_tinie_D

10

Is this your first relationship ever/in a while?

You have to say to yourself has he given you any reason to disbelieve him or to make you think he would cheat?

Try hanging around with your mates more to take your mind off things or do fun activities with your bf to ease the stress on the both of you.

Reply 2

kristen101

OP

Original post by C_tinie_D

Is this your first relationship ever/in a while?

You have to say to yourself has he given you any reason to disbelieve him or to make you think he would cheat?

Try hanging around with your mates more to take your mind off things or do fun activities with your bf to ease the stress on the both of you.

I have been in a few relationships before but not had one for a few years.

He said something that implied he had feelings for someone before but he swears he only said it to make her feel better as she was emotional and I saw a conversation where he said he didn't want her. Also, he has dated a few people at the same time before (he says he wasn't in a relationship with them).

I will try to keep busy, just is hard to keep the thoughts away.

Reply 3

C_tinie_D

10

Ye I understand why you feel this way but tbh it seems he has been very honest with you anyway. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Reply 4

Studentus-anonymous

12

Original post by kristen101

Hi all,

I have always been quite jealous and insecure when it comes to relationships, but over the past few months it has got really bad.

I am obsessed with the idea that my boyfriend is keeping things from me or has secret feelings for other girls or he is with me for the wrong reasons. He tells me he loves me a lot and reassures me he isn't interested in anyone else.

Thoughts keep popping into my head and it becomes hard to ignore. I then end up reading through conversations I have had with him to ease anxiety or help me rationalise my thoughts. Nothing seems to work recently. I spend hours a day thinking about it which makes me depressed. Sometimes I believe my thoughts and other times I just think its all based on insecurity. This is even more confusing.

Does anyone have any advice or been through the same thing? :-/

Relationship OCD, seek help.

Reply 5

kristen101

OP

Original post by Studentus-anonymous

Relationship OCD, seek help.

What sort of help? Do you know much about R ocd?

Reply 6

kristen101

OP

Anyone else have any thoughts?

Reply 7

username47781

20

Original post by kristen101

Hi all,

I have always been quite jealous and insecure when it comes to relationships, but over the past few months it has got really bad.

I am obsessed with the idea that my boyfriend is keeping things from me or has secret feelings for other girls or he is with me for the wrong reasons. He tells me he loves me a lot and reassures me he isn't interested in anyone else.

Thoughts keep popping into my head and it becomes hard to ignore. I then end up reading through conversations I have had with him to ease anxiety or help me rationalise my thoughts. Nothing seems to work recently. I spend hours a day thinking about it which makes me depressed. Sometimes I believe my thoughts and other times I just think its all based on insecurity. This is even more confusing.

Does anyone have any advice or been through the same thing? :-/

You need to realise your boyfriend is with you because he wants to be with you. Do you not have your own friends you can hang out with from time to time? The thing is he is allowed to be friends with other people, the trouble is if you keep being jealous like this then it will drive him away.

Reply 8

kristen101

OP

Original post by Rock Fan

You need to realise your boyfriend is with you because he wants to be with you. Do you not have your own friends you can hang out with from time to time? The thing is he is allowed to be friends with other people, the trouble is if you keep being jealous like this then it will drive him away.

I do have friends but I still get distracted by my thoughts. I never said he couldn't have friends or spend time with other people. I am trying to keep things to myself so that I don't drive him away :-(

Reply 9

Studentus-anonymous

12

Original post by kristen101

What sort of help? Do you know much about R ocd?

No, I'm no expert, but you're clearly obsessing and acting in a way that's trying to alleviate the anxiety and stress you perceive but the coping mechanisms you;re utilizing are just making you worse, so it sounds like Relationship OCD.

I'd start with a doctor who will give you a referral to a psychologist/therapist/whoever you can talk to and who can help you cope with it and overcome it.

Best of luck.

relationship obsession

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