I cant help comparing my relationship to others! It makes me feel I’m not in love..

So I’ve been with my bf over a year and we have so much fun, I always want to kiss him, hang out etc. but we never had a honeymoon phase, and every friend I’ve had went through an intense honeymoon phase at the start of their relationship. All my friends in relationships would literally see their bf every day, constantly talk about/text them, and just seem completely infatuated. I’ve found that my closest friends seemed to have said “I love you” after a week. It’s like their personality becomes their bf. With my bf, I see him a couple times a week, I don’t really talk about him loads when I’m with other friends, I’ve even had friends say that they forget I have a bf because I don’t really mention him. We never had an intense infatuation like I was obsessed with him. I’m quite an anxious person so I’ve never allowed myself to be 100% invested in him and kept a slight distance. Don’t get me wrong I love being with him but when I see these other couples it does make me worry that maybe I’m not in love? I can’t imagine being obsessed with him to the point they are in their relationship

Reply 1

Ahmedtee

3

Original post by Anonymous #1

So I’ve been with my bf over a year and we have so much fun, I always want to kiss him, hang out etc. but we never had a honeymoon phase, and every friend I’ve had went through an intense honeymoon phase at the start of their relationship. All my friends in relationships would literally see their bf every day, constantly talk about/text them, and just seem completely infatuated. I’ve found that my closest friends seemed to have said “I love you” after a week. It’s like their personality becomes their bf. With my bf, I see him a couple times a week, I don’t really talk about him loads when I’m with other friends, I’ve even had friends say that they forget I have a bf because I don’t really mention him. We never had an intense infatuation like I was obsessed with him. I’m quite an anxious person so I’ve never allowed myself to be 100% invested in him and kept a slight distance. Don’t get me wrong I love being with him but when I see these other couples it does make me worry that maybe I’m not in love? I can’t imagine being obsessed with him to the point they are in their relationship

You can't force your feelings. Just go with it until you feel confident it's not going nowhere..

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

people express love in different ways !! people have different love languages !! it doesn't necessarily mean that you are less in love with him, you might just show it in different ways ! it might be something to talk with him about if its something that's bothering you

Reply 3

jay2013

17

Love is overrated.

Look at me, 34 years old, never had a relationship, never had anyone love me, never had anyone wanting to hangout with me, or to kiss me, or have fun with me.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with your relationship. To be honest it sounds like your relationship is a lot healthier than the friends who say "I love you" after one week, which can't possibly be meant genuinely. Honeymoon phases are all well and good, but the success of a relationship is not measured by how often you see someone, how quickly you say you love them, or how often you speak about them. All of those things are very surface level and you tell nothing about how well these relationships are actually going. For me you're actually the one doing this right, namely developing this relationship on your own terms and at a pace that suits you. Don't be pressured by others into changing that. It's exactly what you should be doing.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous #1

So I’ve been with my bf over a year and we have so much fun, I always want to kiss him, hang out etc. but we never had a honeymoon phase, and every friend I’ve had went through an intense honeymoon phase at the start of their relationship. All my friends in relationships would literally see their bf every day, constantly talk about/text them, and just seem completely infatuated. I’ve found that my closest friends seemed to have said “I love you” after a week. It’s like their personality becomes their bf. With my bf, I see him a couple times a week, I don’t really talk about him loads when I’m with other friends, I’ve even had friends say that they forget I have a bf because I don’t really mention him. We never had an intense infatuation like I was obsessed with him. I’m quite an anxious person so I’ve never allowed myself to be 100% invested in him and kept a slight distance. Don’t get me wrong I love being with him but when I see these other couples it does make me worry that maybe I’m not in love? I can’t imagine being obsessed with him to the point they are in their relationship

Just because your love doesn't seem as intense as others doesnt make it any less real. Just because people say i love you to each eachother and talk about them 24/7 doesnt mean that they have a better love life of you. Its not a bad thing that you mentioned him loads, it just shows how you actually have somewhat of a personality compared to others. If you like each other, thats all that matters.

Reply 6

username5955039

21

Original post by jay2013

Love is overrated.

Look at me, 34 years old, never had a relationship, never had anyone love me, never had anyone wanting to hangout with me, or to kiss me, or have fun with me.

Find the one mate

I cant help comparing my relationship to others! It makes me feel I’m not in love..

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