What leads to fear of commitment in men?

Insecurity maybe some are too paranoid and think their partners will cheat


Posted from TSR Mobile

Hi I'm just wanting to know people's thoughts on some of the factors that lead to some men being so afraid of commitment. Of course I'm aware that some women have the same fear of commitment but I suspect the reasons are different and I would like to explore the reasons in men.

In case you are curious I am in my mid 20s and have only ever attracted men who turned out to be emotionally unavailable and fear commitment, and as a result I have never made it to being the girlfriend (no I didn't sleep with any of the men). I'm sick of these men being drawn to me but also acknowledge that there must be a reason I am drawing them into my life. I've been trying to look within to see why this might be and the only thing I can think of is my father is has always been physically present (still married to mother, living with us) but emotionally absent. What can I do?

That's a fair point. I know some people like that tbf....They dont think theyre "good enough"

1. Your assumption: most men have fear of commitment. That's false. It's not fear is dislike. Just like most women dislike sex outside of a relationship, men dislike commitment.

2. Commitment is essentially a restriction of your sexual behaviour. Your sexual behaviour is limited to one and only one person. And thus, sex happens only when you and your partner want it as opposed to you wanting it and just having to find someone available.

3. Commitment entails costs both financial and psychological. You can't take risky actions (like accepting a job in another country or moving out in a whim) because you have to take into account the opinion of your partner. In addition, you have to ensure you have enough money for you and your partner regardless of her employment status. You have to think constantly about her emotional needs and restrict your behaviour appropriately. You need to maintain regular communication with her (see texting/calling).

Points 2 and 3 are a major turn-off to many males and hence they are not interested in commitment. Especially if they are males, have so many opportunities around and commitment will mean a restriction of the number of opportunities available to them.

we are fearful by experience , not by nature

Kanye puts it best: "Cause when she leave yo ass she gon' leave with half"

Are you referring to yourself here? If so is this experience from relationships in your own family or your own personal relationships with women?

For many i would expect that the feeling of not being good enough is what leads to a fear of commitment.

I think this is understandable that men have a fear of getting their assets taken off them. However if men picked women of high value and equal status do you think this would be the case? Kayne West and other hip hop artists as an example mess around with a low calibre of women to be honest who have little to bring to the table other than booty.