Original post by liquityI don't think your problem is that you aren't respectful or that you don't understand social rules, just that you're an introvert (like myself) and would rather observe conversations and listen rather than talk (I'm just picking this up, do correct me if I'm wrong). There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, it comes across as shy but I hate even talking to people I don't know on the phone, let alone in person! Use your time of not joining in with conversations to observe the way people talk to each other if you're worried that you're not good at it. I don't think you're half as bad as you think you are but worrying about your 'social awkwardness' will make you come across as socially awkward; I have had friends (males especially) which have had this problem and have realised that actually their social awkwardness is largely in their head, but a lot of it is about trusting the people you're around that you can be yourself around them and I totally understand that right now that can be extremely difficult to do. If you're not around people that you're not comfortable with talking to then it's totally okay to not talk I would say, after all you're in totally different age groups and it would be quite hard to have lengthy conversations with them. Bear in mind that your preferences of talking to smaller groups of people are not bad things, they're just part of who you are.
Alternatively, you may have a form of social anxiety which you might be interested in looking into if you feel like it is severely impacting your life, but some of it may just be an age related thing it's just part of growing up and finding your place which can be so difficult to do without the fear of being judged for everything you do!
You may think that fat boy getting laughed at can laugh it off easily but he might not underneath be that way at all, however in today's society if a guy shows that he is upset about being insulted he is seen as not being 'man enough' so they have to sit there and take the abuse and pretend that they don't care when it may be severely affecting them underneath. Girls will get upset by this because body image is an extremely prominent issue in society for everyone, but particularly females at this moment in time (note that I am not excluding males in this because I am fully aware of the body image struggles males have also but here we are talking about girls) have a massive struggle with the way they look, particularly to guys. Now if you go around calling them fat do you really think that it's your place to tell them what their body looks like n such a negative way whether it's a joke or not? No neither do I. I understand that to some people, this sort of humour is their biggest source of entertainment but it would be lovely if we could move away from this because it is toxic to the victims of it. Just think if it was you being insulted and made fun of for a joke.
On the racist/sexist jokes thing, they just aren't funny to girls who have been largely the oppressed gender since gender roles began. I mean racist jokes just aren't funny anyway, they're outdated and boring if I'm honest, and sexist jokes are just in bad taste. Gender roles are finally being moved away from and insults such as 'you play sport like a girl' are dying out because tbh, we are all sick of being made to look weak and pathetic when we have some very strong cases within our sex that prove we are just as capable at a lot of things that males are.
They do not always 'say what they don't mean' as you put it, we're just as hard to interpret as guys are to girls. Not all girls expect guys to make the first move as that is quite old fashioned but some (like me) are just simply too shy to try it on with a guy if he has only shown potential signs that he's interested, and some just like the "chivalry" of it. That is just one example of a girl probably changing her mind about something halfway through which she is totally entitled to do (even though slapping the guy is a bit harsh I'll give you that) but just because signals have been given please remember that girls are human beings and are able to change their mind, drunk or not.