Is it me that's frigid/anti sex or is this comment hugely inappropriate?

I know that sex jokes are all the rage these days and I'm not big on sex and all that so I never find sex jokes funny, I just get creeped out lol. So I might have taken this the wrong way or something but basically my old friend is getting married in a few weeks. She moved to the other side of the country with the man years ago her family don't like him he does have mental health issues. He has been pestering me over Facebook to go to the wedding and I know she's my friend and all that but I'm wondering if I can afford transport.

I was working out if I can afford to go earlier when he started messaging me on Facebook about lots of things. . He started to talk about food and asked my fave meal I just said pasta type foods and asked him his. He said 'take it as a joke but a Rachel and Amy sandwich' (meaning me and my friend). He's been trying to get me to visit them for months but he's all a bit too much for me. He is funny but very elated at times. I've no problem about his mental health issues it's just that comment that has made me not want to bother going to the wedding at all.

I barely speak to my friend over Facebook she will reply in a sentance but most conversation is through him! She's never been a big talker though and she was a good friend.

Just wanted advice/opinions should I not bother going?

Reply 1

Trapz99

21

You're just being a bit too easily offended and frigid. The guy was making a joke! Calm down

Reply 2

Blondie987

17

It does seem like kind of a weird thing to say, maybe let him know that you think it's inappropriate? I'm sure he didn't mean to make you uncomfortable but you're entitled to feel how you feel and different people just have different sense of humour tbh. It's not worth getting upset over though really, I'm sure it was just a silly comment he thought would make you laugh, if you're really concerned you could confide in your friend and see what she says :smile:

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Trapz99

You're just being a bit too easily offended and frigid. The guy was making a joke! Calm down

Why is that something you would come out with too ha. It's not even funny though and I'm also looking at the whole picture. When he wanted me to visit months ago my aunt warned me not to go as he'd want a threesome hah, she helped him move out of his house so is aware of him to some extent. He's still sending messages now on Facebook about stuff and I said nite 15 minutes ago lol.

Reply 4

z33

21

Deadpool is not the movie for you :tongue:

Reply 5

Ladymusiclover

20

Hmm if you feel uncomfortable don't go. Trust your instincts. I do think it was a weird thing to say. Hmm red flag alert.

Reply 6

SophieSmall

21

Just tell him it makes you uncomfortable and if he continues you know he's a dick head.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about jokes or what you should and shouldn't find funny or appropriate. Fact is you don't like it and no one can tell you that you have to be okay with it.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by z33

Deadpool is not the movie for you :tongue:

Dead pool.. whenever I hear of a movie I end up watching a bit of it anyway out of curiosity.

I just think the comment was a little disgusting, she's my friend for crying out loud. Imagine if your mates girl (who was just about to marry him' said that about you and your mate what would you think of her, she would be a bit ott?

Reply 8

z33

21

Original post by Anonymous

Dead pool.. whenever I hear of a movie I end up watching a bit of it anyway out of curiosity.

I just think the comment was a little disgusting, she's my friend for crying out loud. Imagine if your mates girl (who was just about to marry him' said that about you and your mate what would you think of her, she would be a bit ott?

idk i dont think he meant to offend you, and seems like he knows you take offense easily hence the 'take it as a joke but'
tell him you didnt like it and im sure he'll stop :smile:

Reply 9

llys

17

I'm like you on this (attitude-wise), and I wouldn't go. Just tell your friend directly that you can't afford it, and stop replying to him on facebook - you don't really need to be in contact with him at all.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by SophieSmall

Just tell him it makes you uncomfortable and if he continues you know he's a dick head.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about jokes or what you should and shouldn't find funny or appropriate. Fact is you don't like it and no one can tell you that you have to be okay with it.

Yea but I have come to realise that I can sometimes get offended by things that other people don't so I always question myself. It's hard for me to draw that line between sticking to my guns about an opinion and changing my perception as I can be quite versatile, if that makes sense.

Reply 11

SophieSmall

21

Original post by Anonymous

Yea but I have come to realise that I can sometimes get offended by things that other people don't so I always question myself. It's hard for me to draw that line between sticking to my guns about an opinion and changing my perception as I can be quite versatile, if that makes sense.

Yeah I understand what you mean, and it's good that you question yourself and ask yourself why you feel the way you do. But the point still stands, if something is making you uncomfortable tell them.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by llys

I'm like you on this (attitude-wise), and I wouldn't go. Just tell your friend directly that you can't afford it, and stop replying to him on facebook - you don't really need to be in contact with him at all.

Well I only give very short brief replies but when I do it sets him off. I tried ignoring him completely but he started saying stuff like 'how come everytime I come online you go offline, point taken' so I just give very short replies. I want to stay in contact with my friend but somehow all conversation is through him and his account, a huge controller but she chooses to be with him.

Reply 13

llys

17

Original post by Anonymous

Well I only give very short brief replies but when I do it sets him off. I tried ignoring him completely but he started saying stuff like 'how come everytime I come online you go offline, point taken' so I just give very short replies. I want to stay in contact with my friend but somehow all conversation is through him and his account, a huge controller but she chooses to be with him.

Well that's classical guilt-tripping. I wouldn't reply at all. I see no reason to be friends with him.

Surely you can contact your actual friend through email when you need / want to, so there is no problem.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by z33

idk i dont think he meant to offend you, and seems like he knows you take offense easily hence the 'take it as a joke but'
tell him you didnt like it and im sure he'll stop :smile:

Did he say that because he knows that I take offence easily or was it because it really was an offensive thing to say. :tongue:

. All sorts of insults can be hidden behind jokes. Anyway yea I should of told him but I just ignored it. I've always found it hard to know what is appropriate and what isn't with people but like others have said its down to personal feelings/opinions really.

Reply 15

Little Popcorns

21

You shouldn't presume it's the mental health condition that made him make the weird sexual joke loads of people make crude jokes some with and some without mental physical or any other problems for that matter.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Little Popcorns

You shouldn't presume it's the mental health condition that made him make the weird sexual joke loads of people make crude jokes some with and some without mental physical or any other problems for that matter.

Yea of course.

Is it me that's frigid/anti sex or is this comment hugely inappropriate?

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