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Guys, would you date a girl with self harm scars on her thighs?

So I started because my best friend died last year in a car crash and I went into a huge depression phase. During the depression, I was diagnosed with bulimia and I began to self harm. I have cuts on my thighs and they're pretty obvious (they aren't faded or anything). I had a boyfriend at the time but he left me because he found my depression a bit nauseating (his exact words actually). I'm over him completely and I'd like to find another guy but I'm worried that some guys found find it a turn off/indication that I'm damaged goods or something.

I don't do self harming anymore but my scars make me feel so self concious.

Reply 1

Darelz

14

Well, I'm not really a guy (or girl), but I'm attracted to girls, so guess I'll answer. I self harmed in the past, so definitely wouldn't have anything wrong with somebody who had been through the same struggle. Even if I hadn't self harmed in the past I wouldn't have a problem with somebody's old scars- you can't help having a mental illness which leads you to do something like that. I think most of my friends would agree with my stance, so there are definitely people out there who will have no problems with old scars. In fact a some people would even see it as another motivation to make you feel appreciated.

Yes.

Yes. they are all part of the package that makes you, you. If they like you they like you. No idea but arent there make up techniques that help disguise them?

https://www.selfharm.co.uk/get/facts/dealing_with_scars
http://www.wikihow.com/Hide-Self-Harm-Scars

Reply 4

EdwardBarfield9

20

I would definitely date a girl with self-harm scars. If I didn't because of scars I'd be a hypocrite as I have many from operations. To me they do not make a girl any more or less attractive as I get infatuated based on the person as a whole.

Reply 5

EdwardBarfield9

20

OP, I understand that scars make you feel self-concious. Most of mine are on my hand, by my fingers so are on show all the time.Much support and respect to you as it take courage to share this kind of post, even if it is annonymous.

Reply 6

Ablicious

1

There's usually a lot of emotional baggage with this kind of thing. I wouldn't rule them out but I think i would definitely be more cautious.

In terms of the purely physical aspect it really wouldn't bother me, as long as the rest of their body is fit and healthy.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Ablicious

There's usually a lot of emotional baggage with this kind of thing. I wouldn't rule them out but I think i would definitely be more cautious.

In terms of the purely physical aspect it really wouldn't bother me, as long as the rest of their body is fit and healthy.

what do you mean by emotional baggage and being cautious ?

Reply 8

Ablicious

1

Original post by Anonymous

what do you mean by emotional baggage and being cautious ?

Well people who are emotionally stable don't self-harm. Obviously, something pretty crap has happened in their lives. I wouldn't know how to deal with that, thus i would be cautious.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by Ablicious

Well people who are emotionally stable don't self-harm. Obviously, something pretty crap has happened in their lives. I wouldn't know how to deal with that, thus i would be cautious.

cautious as in steer clear?

Reply 10

Ablicious

1

Original post by Anonymous

cautious as in steer clear?

Absolutely not.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Ablicious

Absolutely not.

what dya mean then by being cautious.

Reply 12

Jonquillion

4

Honestly, I'd steer clear. Someone who has self-harmed is likely to have depression or mental health issues. I've never desired a fling with a woman. If I enter a relationship, it would always be with a view towards marriage and family, and someone who is likely to be unstable is not an attractive prospect for my future wife or the mother of my children. On that basis, I'd be unlikely to date you.

However, you can never anticipate true love. Maybe I'd throw out all of my apprehensions upon meeting you, and just because your past troubles me doesn't mean it will trouble others. I'm sure someone out there wouldn't find it to be an issue. That person just isn't me.

Hope this helps. If I came across as insensitive, it was purely an attempt to be honest.

Jonathan.

Reply 13

Anonymous #3

I really relate to this. I have self-harm scars on my thighs from a couple of years ago. My boyfriend's brother saw it one time when we were all at the beach. He pulled his brother aside, told him to dump me because I'm 'psycho' for self-harming. Just goes to show there are idiots in the world who can't wait to judge you, but if you are too good for them anyway :smile:

Reply 14

Anonymous #4

Definitely, no type of scar bothers me whether it's self harm, accidents, stretchmarks, they're just lines on the body. My girlfriend has self harmed in the past since she has BPD and honestly I was glad she felt that she could trust me enough to tell me.

Reply 15

LiquidGold

19

I wouldn't rule it out, but i would be more cautious. I dont want to be with someone who is emotionally unstable and who i have to tip toe around, thus if it had happened relatively recently i wouldnt get in a relationship with them, but would try and be friends. If it happened long ago and for specific reasons which are now not relevant or under control, then yeh, i dont see why not, but i would still be more alert to any bad signs.

It's different if the person you are already with develops mental health issues... Then i would try to stand by them as best i could.

Reply 16

Fkmylife

2

Original post by Anonymous

So I started because my best friend died last year in a car crash and I went into a huge depression phase. During the depression, I was diagnosed with bulimia and I began to self harm. I have cuts on my thighs and they're pretty obvious (they aren't faded or anything). I had a boyfriend at the time but he left me because he found my depression a bit nauseating (his exact words actually). I'm over him completely and I'd like to find another guy but I'm worried that some guys found find it a turn off/indication that I'm damaged goods or something.

I don't do self harming anymore but my scars make me feel so self concious.

Yep, I would want to give her the best time of her life so when she looks at those scars she don't feel nothing

Reply 17

niceguy95

14

Hell no! Never
The girl is unstable I don't need that in my life, could be my thighs next!

Reply 18

Olie

20

Yes of course, if someone genuinely likes you they'd have be quite a dick to dump you because of something like this, I'd seriously not worry OP, anyone who would have a problem you're better off without.

Reply 19

AriAlex

7

That’s so small minded and selfish. Just because they weren’t stable before doesn’t mean they still are.

Guys, would you date a girl with self harm scars on her thighs?

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