Want a child eventually but don't ever want to be pregnant :/

Well nowadays you can get an epidural and feel virtually nothing when giving birth.

I've not yet given birth myself but I can relate to what you're saying, I have a really low pain threshold and I hate pain! I get really upset, I'm a bit of a baby! Although oddly for me giving birth isn't something that scares me too much? And I am quite a big worrier! I've always had this terrifying idea that I can't have children?

My Mum and many other women say although it's a pain nothing like anything you've ever experienced, it's such an amazing feeling. It's not a pain where something is wrong with you or you're ill or dying, it's a 'good' pain, and it's FOR something. You will be very much rewarded! If a natural birth isn't for you, that's okay! There are a whole host of options for you to consider. You might feel more comfortable with a birthing clinic than a hospital. When you've got the right support and care around you, I'm sure you'll be fine! If it's not something that is on the cards for you anytime soon, I'd just enjoy the present day and try and put it from your mind for now!


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It's not like having your own though, that's why most people don't adopt they would rather go through the nightmare of pregnancy.

iv done it 3 times and the pregnancy is nothing compared to labour

Didn't you have an epidural?

ha! no!!! sorry but thats a wimps way out.
if theres a reason for it such as needing a c-section or for medical purposes then fine but otherwise i dont agree with it
and i have an incredibly low pain threshold!

How come you dont agree, did you have no pain relief at all? Some people have nothing and just brave it out. I think it makes sense just to go for the option that involves the least pain as the pain doesnt benefit you (correct me if im wrong) its not like exercise where its 'no pain no gain'.

Surely the answer to this is to make the adoption process much easier and less stressful for everyone involved.

Personally I think people need to be a lot less prissy about which vagina a baby comes out of, a parent is more than juat a genetic donor.

I want a child someday but definitely don't want to be pregnant. I can't stand period pain, feeling sick and all that it makes me feel panicky like a nightmare. Everytime I get even mild period pain I swear I'm not going to put myself through pregnancy. I was at the gym earlier lifting weights and then went for a short run after. After the run I got uterine cramps even though I'm 2 weeks off being on a period. For some reason exercise has always triggered cramping, it can be anywhere from ovulation (2 weeks before a period) to the end of the period where I could get cramping if I exercise. I've had tests for it they came back normal. Often I'm ok after exercise but sometimes I get cramps I can usually tell before if I will.

Anyway back on topic yea I just don't want to ever be pregnant but at the same time don't want to miss out on having a child of my own. I just wish I was a man they have a better life than women anyway.

When you're older and want children, I'll be incredibly surprised if you still feel that way. It's completely natural to want to hold your baby in your arms as a newborn. To be the first care giver in that little persons life. It's completely natural and understandable to want to see your baby develop knowing that he or she is half you, and half the father.

If you think the natural urge to want your own child is "prissy" then I don't really know what to say. Apart from, that'll change Unless you never want children, and in which case it's hard to understand what it must feel like to actually desire children, I imagine.

And yes, obviously the answer is to make the adoption process easier, but it is there to ensure the safety of the child at the end of the day. If you force a child away from their biological mother, and then sign him off to a family who later neglect/ abuse him, imagine the trouble you'll be in.

Although, I feel that the process of fostering isn't quite so stringent, and even goes the other way.

I am older actually im pushing 30

When you're older and want children, I'll be incredibly surprised if you still feel that way. It's completely natural to want to hold your baby in your arms as a newborn. To be the first care giver in that little persons life. It's completely natural and understandable to want to see your baby develop knowing that he or she is half you, and half the father.

If you think the natural urge to want your own child is "prissy" then I don't really know what to say. Apart from, that'll change Unless you never want children, and in which case it's hard to understand what it must feel like to actually desire children, I imagine.

And yes, obviously the answer is to make the adoption process easier, but it is there to ensure the safety of the child at the end of the day. If you force a child away from their biological mother, and then sign him off to a family who later neglect/ abuse him, imagine the trouble you'll be in.

Although, I feel that the process of fostering isn't quite so stringent, and even goes the other way.

I am 24 and I have never, not once, had the desire to have my 'own' child. To be a father, sure, that has crossed my mind but that the child in question is biologically 'mine' never struck me as particularly important. For the most part though you are right, I have no idea why people want to have children, in fact the whole thing just strikes me as, frankly, pretty selfish.

I'm struggling a bit to put this quite how I would like so I'm just going to go for a big broad stroke... Being a parent/child is about more than genetics, I'd say it is literally the least important aspect of the whole thing.

I am 24 and I have never, not once, had the desire to have my 'own' child. To be a father, sure, that has crossed my mind but that the child in question is biologically 'mine' never struck me as particularly important. For the most part though you are right, I have no idea why people want to have children, in fact the whole thing just strikes me as, frankly, pretty selfish.

I'm struggling a bit to put this quite how I would like so I'm just going to go for a big broad stroke... Being a parent/child is about more than genetics, I'd say it is literally the least important aspect of the whole thing.