No friends, single & about to be made redundant. Can't cope anymore.
I had no friends in college and moved to uni hoping things would be better, and they were. Then everyone left and never bothered to keep in touch so I was back to square 1.
All i've done since I graduated last summer is go to work. My social life is non existent, and if I disappeared right now nobody would notice i'd gone. It's been 3 months since I got a message from anyone other than Dominos Pizza or EE saying i've ran out of data. Not even on my birthday.
On top of this i'm about to be made redundant and can't find a new job. I've had 6 interviews and failed all of them. There's nothing to apply for outside London, where I can't move to due to high competition & housing costs. Every time i'm left alone with my own thoughts I feel awful so if I don't have a new job by then I am not going to last 5 minutes.
Everyone in the office is in an LTR/already married and everyone I went to uni with is in an LTR. It just feels like once you get to your mid 20s everyone has their boyfriend/girlfriend and doesn't give a **** about anyone else. Unfortunately I am fat/shy/socially awkward and look like a cave troll, so there's no girl out there who would be seen dead with me.
When one of my friends move away at uni all she had to do was go to a bar, meet a guy on the first night and bam instant group of friends with no effort. Life just seems so much easier if you're a girl.
It just feels like my life is over before it has began and I don't know what to do anymore.
All i've done since I graduated last summer is go to work. My social life is non existent, and if I disappeared right now nobody would notice i'd gone. It's been 3 months since I got a message from anyone other than Dominos Pizza or EE saying i've ran out of data. Not even on my birthday.
On top of this i'm about to be made redundant and can't find a new job. I've had 6 interviews and failed all of them. There's nothing to apply for outside London, where I can't move to due to high competition & housing costs. Every time i'm left alone with my own thoughts I feel awful so if I don't have a new job by then I am not going to last 5 minutes.
Everyone in the office is in an LTR/already married and everyone I went to uni with is in an LTR. It just feels like once you get to your mid 20s everyone has their boyfriend/girlfriend and doesn't give a **** about anyone else. Unfortunately I am fat/shy/socially awkward and look like a cave troll, so there's no girl out there who would be seen dead with me.
When one of my friends move away at uni all she had to do was go to a bar, meet a guy on the first night and bam instant group of friends with no effort. Life just seems so much easier if you're a girl.
It just feels like my life is over before it has began and I don't know what to do anymore.
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Disregard friends and make bank.
Join meetup as well and join some groups
Join meetup as well and join some groups
You're far from alone there my friend, currently find myself in the precise same predicament - funny how life can be sometimes, hm?
I can see it being a difficult situation, stressful, you feel lost and a whole world of things.
Having said that, you can't really expect to not be single if you don't have any friends - and if you did find someone, they'd probably find it a bit weird that you didn't have any.
Step 1 I think is to find some kind of job, or keep searching for one. Ask for feedback in the 6 interviews you've done, and see what needs to be improved.
Step 2 is to try to make some friends. It isn't easy to do, granted, but it may simultaneously solve the problem of being single and not having any friends.
Good luck
Having said that, you can't really expect to not be single if you don't have any friends - and if you did find someone, they'd probably find it a bit weird that you didn't have any.
Step 1 I think is to find some kind of job, or keep searching for one. Ask for feedback in the 6 interviews you've done, and see what needs to be improved.
Step 2 is to try to make some friends. It isn't easy to do, granted, but it may simultaneously solve the problem of being single and not having any friends.
Good luck
The world aint all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place, and idc how tough you are the world you hit you to.tbe groun and leave you there permanently if you let it. But it aint about how tough you hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving, thats how winning is done.
So yeah dude, all your "friends' in uni and college who left you can go fck themselves.
My friend you keep trying to get a job, once you get one. Make friends in your job and invite them out all the time make sure you are making an effort. Then download tinder and start pulling.
The most important thing, is tok have faith in yourself. No matter what happens, you can achieve whatever you want.
I believe in you and i know you can do it. Trust me. I have never been wrong so far.
Lets do this
So yeah dude, all your "friends' in uni and college who left you can go fck themselves.
My friend you keep trying to get a job, once you get one. Make friends in your job and invite them out all the time make sure you are making an effort. Then download tinder and start pulling.
The most important thing, is tok have faith in yourself. No matter what happens, you can achieve whatever you want.
I believe in you and i know you can do it. Trust me. I have never been wrong so far.
Lets do this
(edited 7 years ago)
Go travelling?? guaranteed to make friends and meet some beautiful foreign woman as well as exploring the big wide world and its endless possibilities. Whatever you do, don't spend too long thinking about it just go out and do it and life will become 10x more interesting and enjoyable
I can relate somewhat to this OP. I'm going into my 3rd year in September. I'd previously failed due to mental health issues but I am now glad and grateful that i got myself into uni and passed successfully my second year.
I'm 25 and have a job atm so i'm really grateful for that too, plus i've found some friends. I haven't got a girlfriend though which really sucks seeing as most of my mates who graduated before me are either married or in LTRs. I sometimes feel as if there aren't any single people anywhere.
I've done the whole online dating and it sucks. I'm not the most physically attractive person but girls seem to respond very positively IRL even though i always get friendzoned. I dunno what to say that might help you except keep going and that you're not alone.
I just hope that i'll be able to find someone before i graduate.
I'm 25 and have a job atm so i'm really grateful for that too, plus i've found some friends. I haven't got a girlfriend though which really sucks seeing as most of my mates who graduated before me are either married or in LTRs. I sometimes feel as if there aren't any single people anywhere.
I've done the whole online dating and it sucks. I'm not the most physically attractive person but girls seem to respond very positively IRL even though i always get friendzoned. I dunno what to say that might help you except keep going and that you're not alone.
I just hope that i'll be able to find someone before i graduate.
Original post by RomeoSantos
Go travelling?? guaranteed to make friends and meet some beautiful foreign woman as well as exploring the big wide world and its endless possibilities. Whatever you do, don't spend too long thinking about it just go out and do it and life will become 10x more interesting and enjoyable
My redundancy package is very generous plus I have savings so I am thinking of going travelling, only problem is that I have nobody to go with and i have never been on a plane before
I've had people suggest online dating but I look absolutely disgusting and any girl who uses one of those places is going to have confident, attractive men queueing up for them
This is a time for which you need to ballsy and take risks. Dont get bothered over relationships mate. I've never been in one and they're frankly overrated. My friends who are in them are permanently broke and totally pussy whipped. What you need to do is think big and try something completely off field. If your degree isnt getting you anywhere, try something else. Try training in a new field, be prepared to move completely away from home and be wild about it. You shouldn't have to be left feeling like this mate, you're not a disaster. You just need to stand, aceept the situation for what it is and give it the middle finger and tredge on. Best of luck
Original post by Anonymous
My redundancy package is very generous plus I have savings so I am thinking of going travelling, only problem is that I have nobody to go with and i have never been on a plane before
I've had people suggest online dating but I look absolutely disgusting and any girl who uses one of those places is going to have confident, attractive men queueing up for them
I've had people suggest online dating but I look absolutely disgusting and any girl who uses one of those places is going to have confident, attractive men queueing up for them
Don't worry loads of people go travelling on their own. I'd recommend staying in hostels because it's low price and there'll be other people travelling on their own too. Planes are no big deal and there's signs everywhere in airports telling you where to go.
You'd be surprised there's lots of types of women on online dating and if you really look disgusting then just do what you can do with what you've got and make yourself look as least disgusting as possible. Losing weight and getting fit is always a good start. It's worth ago with online dating anyway just don't have high expectations and if something doesn't work out just forget about it and try another time.
Original post by marco14196
This is a time for which you need to ballsy and take risks. Dont get bothered over relationships mate. I've never been in one and they're frankly overrated. My friends who are in them are permanently broke and totally pussy whipped. What you need to do is think big and try something completely off field. If your degree isnt getting you anywhere, try something else. Try training in a new field, be prepared to move completely away from home and be wild about it. You shouldn't have to be left feeling like this mate, you're not a disaster. You just need to stand, aceept the situation for what it is and give it the middle finger and tredge on. Best of luck
I wanted to relocate badly but paying £50-100 a pop for interviews all over the country was just too much
I think a lot of them were simply because I was so desperate and under time constraints so just focused on A job not THAT specific job. I think my CV is excellent for someone who only graduated recentlyOriginal post by Foo.mp3
Read this back to yourself and then tell me you don't know what to do 
It is and it isn't. We have it far better once we have our game on point as we can go out, single out, and pick-up almost whoever we like with zero social fallout/without settling for a cuck/getting pumped and dumped by a string of players
It is and it isn't. We have it far better once we have our game on point as we can go out, single out, and pick-up almost whoever we like with zero social fallout/without settling for a cuck/getting pumped and dumped by a string of players
Hmm can us men really pick up ANYONE that we want? Also i'm glad to see the word cuck being spread all over lmao. What is your definiton of a cuck out of interest? How would you describe one and their behavioural traits?
Original post by Anonymous
I had no friends in college and moved to uni hoping things would be better, and they were. Then everyone left and never bothered to keep in touch so I was back to square 1.
All i've done since I graduated last summer is go to work. My social life is non existent, and if I disappeared right now nobody would notice i'd gone. It's been 3 months since I got a message from anyone other than Dominos Pizza or EE saying i've ran out of data. Not even on my birthday.
On top of this i'm about to be made redundant and can't find a new job. I've had 6 interviews and failed all of them. There's nothing to apply for outside London, where I can't move to due to high competition & housing costs. Every time i'm left alone with my own thoughts I feel awful so if I don't have a new job by then I am not going to last 5 minutes.
Everyone in the office is in an LTR/already married and everyone I went to uni with is in an LTR. It just feels like once you get to your mid 20s everyone has their boyfriend/girlfriend and doesn't give a **** about anyone else. Unfortunately I am fat/shy/socially awkward and look like a cave troll, so there's no girl out there who would be seen dead with me.
When one of my friends move away at uni all she had to do was go to a bar, meet a guy on the first night and bam instant group of friends with no effort. Life just seems so much easier if you're a girl.
It just feels like my life is over before it has began and I don't know what to do anymore.
All i've done since I graduated last summer is go to work. My social life is non existent, and if I disappeared right now nobody would notice i'd gone. It's been 3 months since I got a message from anyone other than Dominos Pizza or EE saying i've ran out of data. Not even on my birthday.
On top of this i'm about to be made redundant and can't find a new job. I've had 6 interviews and failed all of them. There's nothing to apply for outside London, where I can't move to due to high competition & housing costs. Every time i'm left alone with my own thoughts I feel awful so if I don't have a new job by then I am not going to last 5 minutes.
Everyone in the office is in an LTR/already married and everyone I went to uni with is in an LTR. It just feels like once you get to your mid 20s everyone has their boyfriend/girlfriend and doesn't give a **** about anyone else. Unfortunately I am fat/shy/socially awkward and look like a cave troll, so there's no girl out there who would be seen dead with me.
When one of my friends move away at uni all she had to do was go to a bar, meet a guy on the first night and bam instant group of friends with no effort. Life just seems so much easier if you're a girl.
It just feels like my life is over before it has began and I don't know what to do anymore.
Graduate blues, it's a genuine condition.
I'm afraid what's required is effort, putting yourself out there, finding social clubs and stuff to join up and make new friends/date new people.
If it helps there will be another burst of single women around 30 as the break-ups/divorces come round. Then you can swoop in and marry off to someone you'll likely be with until 45~50 at least.
There's a good chance it'll be one of those relationships which last until one of you dies of old age to.
In the meantime there ARE women out there in your boat, single, lonely, as isolated from potential mates as you are. You'll have to get brave. Maybe strike up conversations with women you wouldn't otherwise do, in a coffee shop, etc.
Best of luck on the job hunt and the dating game, it sucks but you've just been cushioned in the cocoon that was uni, now you;re in the real world and it sucks because you weren't properly prepared and your entry into the adult world has been delayed.
You'll find your feet.
(edited 7 years ago)
Well, the world is really a lonely place. Isn't it? In some circumstances I can relate too, I only got two text messages saying happy birthday, oh well, that's life.
You seem like a shy person, do you think you can go to any social events down your area and try looking for friends? Meeting friends in person can be quite difficult, and finding someone whom you trust is rare, so if you find that person, hang onto them.
Having said that, there is nothing wrong with doing things alone. Learn to enjoy your own company, you are going to be living with yourself longer than with anyone else. Go to trips, cinema, shopping by yourself and then after a while, you will understand that truly you don't need anyone. Friendship/companionship is just a bonus imo.
You seem like a shy person, do you think you can go to any social events down your area and try looking for friends? Meeting friends in person can be quite difficult, and finding someone whom you trust is rare, so if you find that person, hang onto them.
Having said that, there is nothing wrong with doing things alone. Learn to enjoy your own company, you are going to be living with yourself longer than with anyone else. Go to trips, cinema, shopping by yourself and then after a while, you will understand that truly you don't need anyone. Friendship/companionship is just a bonus imo.
Don't rely on other people to make you happy. Fill up the time you spend with friends by doing various hobbies etc. This'll get easier once you have a job.
I have 9/10 weeks off for Summer and there's probably one person who I'm going to speak to every once in a while, but I'm pre-occupied with other sings so it doesn't really bother me. Friendships are not the be all and end all of life.
Regarding your job search all I can do is wish you good luck
I have 9/10 weeks off for Summer and there's probably one person who I'm going to speak to every once in a while, but I'm pre-occupied with other sings so it doesn't really bother me. Friendships are not the be all and end all of life.
Regarding your job search all I can do is wish you good luck
I can see this has a difficult situation.
You said you are shy, fat, socially awkward, sort this out! Go the gym, lift weights, do high intensity cardio.
Sort out your shyness and social skills, you could try socialising with the people in bingo or join a club to meet new people and this will increase your social skills. It's not easy, I know because I've been their. Improve everyday, take a risk everyday, you are still going to live and you are improving. Read books regarding conversation, social skills, be someone who can laugh easily, lighten up, be relaxed, give value.
With dating, you could try online dating, speed dating, joining clubs.
What jobs were you in and applied for? You could try a programming language, learn it, build your own projects and show them on GitHub and this could get you into a job.
I wish you the best of luck.
Feel free to message me if you ever need to talk
.
You said you are shy, fat, socially awkward, sort this out! Go the gym, lift weights, do high intensity cardio.
Sort out your shyness and social skills, you could try socialising with the people in bingo or join a club to meet new people and this will increase your social skills. It's not easy, I know because I've been their. Improve everyday, take a risk everyday, you are still going to live and you are improving. Read books regarding conversation, social skills, be someone who can laugh easily, lighten up, be relaxed, give value.
With dating, you could try online dating, speed dating, joining clubs.
What jobs were you in and applied for? You could try a programming language, learn it, build your own projects and show them on GitHub and this could get you into a job.
I wish you the best of luck.
Feel free to message me if you ever need to talk
.
Original post by Anonymous
My redundancy package is very generous plus I have savings so I am thinking of going travelling, only problem is that I have nobody to go with and i have never been on a plane before
I've had people suggest online dating but I look absolutely disgusting and any girl who uses one of those places is going to have confident, attractive men queueing up for them
I've had people suggest online dating but I look absolutely disgusting and any girl who uses one of those places is going to have confident, attractive men queueing up for them
disgusting is such a strong word. I recommend counselling.
Hey bud,
Plenty of people worse off than you who have partners. You ever watched Jeremy Kyle? Those lads seem to pull new girls on a daily basis, God only knows how.
Anyway, don't beat yourself up over this. No need. Life is a journey, albeit a hard one that can be made slightly easier with a positive mindset and the determination to succeed.
Do things that make you happy. Change the things that don't make you happy.
Socially awkward? PM a few people here and get a conversation rolling. Not as good as interacting with others in real life, but it'll help you be more comfortable with people.
Shy? We all are to an extent. Making passing comments to people whilst waiting in line, talk to the cashier, anything just to build up a bit of self-confidence/esteem in your conversational abilities.
Fat? Gym, or accepting yourself for who you are is the best way to go here.
A good lady is out there waiting for you. Make yourself happy first and then start looking. Maybe try online dating for the time being until your social circle picks up. To start making more friends, attend meet-ups or clubs that interest you and will put you in contact with like-minded people.
PM me if you fancy a chat.
Plenty of people worse off than you who have partners. You ever watched Jeremy Kyle? Those lads seem to pull new girls on a daily basis, God only knows how.
Anyway, don't beat yourself up over this. No need. Life is a journey, albeit a hard one that can be made slightly easier with a positive mindset and the determination to succeed.
Do things that make you happy. Change the things that don't make you happy.
Socially awkward? PM a few people here and get a conversation rolling. Not as good as interacting with others in real life, but it'll help you be more comfortable with people.
Shy? We all are to an extent. Making passing comments to people whilst waiting in line, talk to the cashier, anything just to build up a bit of self-confidence/esteem in your conversational abilities.
Fat? Gym, or accepting yourself for who you are is the best way to go here.
A good lady is out there waiting for you. Make yourself happy first and then start looking. Maybe try online dating for the time being until your social circle picks up. To start making more friends, attend meet-ups or clubs that interest you and will put you in contact with like-minded people.
PM me if you fancy a chat.
Original post by Anonymous
My redundancy package is very generous plus I have savings so I am thinking of going travelling, only problem is that I have nobody to go with and i have never been on a plane before
I've had people suggest online dating but I look absolutely disgusting and any girl who uses one of those places is going to have confident, attractive men queueing up for them
I've had people suggest online dating but I look absolutely disgusting and any girl who uses one of those places is going to have confident, attractive men queueing up for them
You're very down on yourself mate. OK lookswise you might not be much, we get what we're given. But you say you are fat? You can do something about that. No shame in trying to lose weight & making yourself attractive, not just for girls but for yourself and your self esteem, right? Make a plan. List a week at a time. Reduce junk food, do some exercises at home, just as beneficial as gym if you're shy about going as many do if overweight. It's down to you to change those things you can! Get to it.
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