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how much of an age gap is too much?

I'm just interested in what other people think and their reasoning, my friends think 3 years older and 1 year younger is maximum for a girl and the other way round for a boy lmao.. but I like a 22 year old and I'm 17 lol

Reply 1

rustyldner

2

It increases as you age, but I would say 3-4 years max for a late teen.

Reply 2

username2896864

15

I suppose people's opinions vary widely but my parents have a 5 yr age gap and tbh it doesn't matter at all, although personally I wouldn't have too big an age gap e.g 10 yrs or something :biggrin:

Reply 3

UWS

21

If she calls you daddy and you're actually old enough to be her father.

Reply 4

Rhythmical

21

Oh no sweetie, Rob is 23 not 22, sorry for the mix up. Run as fast as you can.

Reply 5

bex.anne

15

When youre older, its fine for it to be bigger like 21 and 29. 17 and 22 is fine to be honest.

Reply 6

Michiyo

21

Depends on the age. At 17, I honestly would not date anyone over 18 or 19.

Reply 7

ShoSho_

2

Aslong as he respects you there isn't anything wrong with a 5year age gap... I think once you're 18 and classed as an adult, the age gap doesn't really matter! Do what makes you happy!!

Reply 8

hl_18

ideally 1-3 years older but tbh it doesnt really matter until its socially acceptable to call you a gold digger

Reply 9

Lychee628

19

Original post by _princessxox

I'm just interested in what other people think and their reasoning, my friends think 3 years older and 1 year younger is maximum for a girl and the other way round for a boy lmao.. but I like a 22 year old and I'm 17 lol

3 years max imo and like I prefer the girl to be younger :yep:

Reply 10

_princessxox

OP

16

Original post by Michiyo

Depends on the age. At 17, I honestly would not date anyone over 18 or 19.

really? but i just feel like i prefer more mature guys and guys my age are anything but mature lol so i always prefer guys a bit older than me

Reply 11

_princessxox

OP

16

Original post by hl_18

ideally 1-3 years older but tbh it doesnt really matter until its socially acceptable to call you a gold digger

i'm not a gold digger lol

Reply 12

Infamous*

9

age is just a social construct

Reply 13

claireestelle

22

presuming you want the same things out of it then there shouldnt be an issue, i barely notice the 4 year gap between us.

Reply 14

Michiyo

21

Original post by _princessxox

really? but i just feel like i prefer more mature guys and guys my age are anything but mature lol so i always prefer guys a bit older than me

This is not about maturity, but about different stages of life. A 22-year-old who is old enough to have finished university and even a Master's is further along their life journey than a 17 years old A-level or equivalent student and has other priorities in life. At 17, you almost 100% still live with your parents, most likely have not had a job, may not even know what degree to pursue if you want one, and are still likely to change once you reach university (in fact, you may find yourself falling in love with the cute guy who sits next to you in some of your university lectures). On the flip side, a 22-year-old has already dealt with these things and is now focusing on their career and on finding a long-term partner. 17-year-olds and 22-year-old have different priorities in life, as exemplified above, which could result into plenty of conflict and disagreements. No matter how much you want it, a relationship you enter at the age of 17 is quite unlikely to succeed, which is not what a lot of 22-year-olds look for (those who do not look for it are most likely ***boys or not ready for any commitment you want from 'mature' guys).

Besides, there is the issue of what kind of adult would agree to be in a relationship with a teenager. I am 18 and I would not be in a relationship with a 17-year-old since I am an adult and they are not. If an 18-year-old would not date a 17-year-old, what kind of 22-year-old would? Those who think you are naive and innocent (basically, they think of you as an easy f***).

Not saying all relationships like this are doomed to fail, just that they often do because of things outside of your control, so I personally would keep the age difference as small as possible.

That being said, this becomes less and less of an issue as you grow up. It certainly will not be an issue when you will be 43 and 48 :rofl:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 15

_princessxox

OP

16

Original post by Michiyo

This is not about maturity, but about different stages of life. A 22-year-old who is old enough to have finished university and even a Master's is further along their life journey than a 17 years old A-level or equivalent student and has other priorities in life. At 17, you almost 100% still live with your parents, most likely have not had a job, may not even know what degree to pursue if you want one, and are still likely to change once you reach university (in fact, you may find yourself falling in love with the cute guy who sits next to you in some of your university lectures). On the flip side, a 22-year-old has already dealt with these things and is now focusing on their career and on finding a long-term partner. 17-year-olds and 22-year-old have different priorities in life, as exemplified above, which could result into plenty of conflict and disagreements. No matter how much you want it, a relationship you enter at the age of 17 is quite unlikely to succeed, which is not what a lot of 22-year-olds look for (those who do not look for it are most likely ***boys or not ready for any commitment you want from 'mature' guys).

Besides, there is the issue of what kind of adult would agree to be in a relationship with a teenager. I am 18 and I would not be in a relationship with a 17-year-old since I am an adult and they are not. If an 18-year-old would not date a 17-year-old, what kind of 22-year-old would? Those who think you are naive and innocent (basically, they think of you as an easy f***).

Not saying all relationships like this are doomed to fail, just that they often do because of things outside of your control, so I personally would keep the age difference as small as possible.

That being said, this becomes less and less of an issue as you grow up. It certainly will not be an issue when you will be 43 and 48 :rofl:

yeah I see where you're coming from actually but I just think a 5 year gap isn't a big deal, it would be more fun like he can drive and is financially stable (not that i want his money) but it means we can go out more often and i would never expect him to pay for me but i mean boys my age are broke and I work and my parents give me a pretty big allowance so I always want to go out and do nice things and a lot of the time they can't, I think for me it's so much more convenient to date an older guy. But no i completely get what you're saying, I'll make sure I'm not oblivious to anyone's intentions or anything like that

Reply 16

Socrates2017

2

I went out with a just-turned 17 girl when I was almost 21. it means nothing.

Reply 17

username2080673

18

Original post by _princessxox

I'm just interested in what other people think and their reasoning, my friends think 3 years older and 1 year younger is maximum for a girl and the other way round for a boy lmao.. but I like a 22 year old and I'm 17 lol

So long as the people in the relationship have passed the legal hurdle it doesn't matter.

It's not too big a deal. When I first began to develop feelings for my boyfriend, I was 22 and he was 17. However, I did restrain myself until he was 18. I morally couldn't bring myself to make a move before he was legally an adult.