I&#x27;m gay (not out) and like one of my best friends

honestly no matter how much i value someone as a friend, if they were gay and liked me- i would immediately just get creeped out. things between us for me would just be awkward, especially for me. when that sort of thing happens, you just dont see a person the same way.

Reply 3

mythical.6

Original post by Anonymous

I can't get this off my head, I need to tell him I'm gay, but I'm too scared to do it, let alone tell him I like him. There's a small chance he could be gay too (he's never dated or shown affection to a girl before, but I think he's just shy).

He's the only person I'd even consider telling because I like him and trust him not to tell anyone else

What would be the best/easiest way to come out to him? Should I tell him I like him? I always try to drop hints but I think they're just to subtle for them to mean anything.

I'd say come out to him before telling him you like him. and space them a bit apart. since you're very close (what I gathered from you only trusting him to tell about this) he may confide in you if he is also gay. he may even be in the same situation as you :smile:

demonstrate your trust in him, come out (please do this at your own will, not ours lol), and see his reaction. then assess whether it would be damaging or not to tell him you like him since you guys seem to have a good friendship

Reply 4

Original post by I.sarkar

honestly no matter how much i value someone as a friend, if they were gay and liked me- i would immediately just get creeped out. things between us for me would just be awkward, especially for me. when that sort of thing happens, you just dont see a person the same way.

It frustrates me so much that we expect boys and girls to be attracted to each other, and consistently maintain that they can't ever be just friends, yet we demonise homosexual attraction. Would it creep you out if you found out a girl liked you?

If so, then you probably have some personal :innocent:

you need to sort out. Being attracted to people is completely natural, not something to feel deeply uncomfortable about.

Reply 5

Loopy91

Do you know what he thinks of gay people and that? If he doesn't seem homophobic then it's likely he will still see you the same way before. If not then he wasn't a true friend anyway.

As for liking him, I don't recommend telling him that now. If you're his best mate then surely you probably know him well enough to have a hunch about his sexuality. If he's straight I recommend biting your tongue about it. It's possible he might not be creeped out that you like him, he might actually be flattered, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Maybe in a few years if you get over him you could tell him then and laugh about it.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Don't do it. It rarely ends well :frown:

Reply 7

why has TSR started replacing swear words with cheeky orange emojis instead of ****s hahahaha

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN I AM SO OUT OF THE LOOP

Reply 8

_Fergo

19

Original post by I.sarkar

honestly no matter how much i value someone as a friend, if they were gay and liked me- i would immediately just get creeped out. things between us for me would just be awkward, especially for me. when that sort of thing happens, you just dont see a person the same way.

I wonder if Islam has anything to do with this :colonhash:

But seriously, liking someone doesn't mean that your behaviour changes towards them. It's the same whether gay or straight, girl or guy. If anything, I'd want others to be honest with me - these things happen and if one is not interested, the other person will eventually get over it.

So, OP, do tell him. If you don't feel comfortable telling him that you also like him, don't say both at once. Wait a bit to see his reaction (with regards to you being gay).

Reply 9

(づ￣ ³￣)づ

Original post by Kvothe the Arcane

I've been through this. If he's a true friend, you'll remain friends even if he's a little taken aback by your feelings.

Just be honest and good luck.

Agree with this, one of my friends came out to me by asking me out, and whilst I can say he definitely took me by surprise, I didn't react negatively. If anything I gained so much more respect for him for being able to ask me if his feelings were reciprocated.

Still besties to this day, and he's now found himself that special someone.

Reply 10

jambojim97

21

Tell him your gay but don't say you fancy him. Then if he is gay or bicuroious or whatever and he confesses then you can declare your undying love for him.

Reply 11

ThickSkin

1

Original post by Anonymous

I can't get this off my head, I need to tell him I'm gay, but I'm too scared to do it, let alone tell him I like him. There's a small chance he could be gay too (he's never dated or shown affection to a girl before, but I think he's just shy).

He's the only person I'd even consider telling because I like him and trust him not to tell anyone else

What would be the best/easiest way to come out to him? Should I tell him I like him? I always try to drop hints but I think they're just to subtle for them to mean anything.

It happens all the time. You fancy your best friend. However, if he does not feel the same way, there is no denying it - your relationship will never be the same.

It's up to you what you do and personally I think their is no right answer.

But it's right for you to know the risks involved too and to consider them before making your decision.

Sorry if it comes across as harsh - I am not intending to offend.

Reply 12

Moonstruck16

5

Time to find out if he really is your best friend.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

Original post by nverjvlev

It frustrates me so much that we expect boys and girls to be attracted to each other, and consistently maintain that they can't ever be just friends, yet we demonise homosexual attraction. Would it creep you out if you found out a girl liked you?

If so, then you probably have some personal :innocent:

you need to sort out. Being attracted to people is completely natural, not something to feel deeply uncomfortable about.

thats just hormonal. once youve found a girl youll be fine. girls and boys can be just friends.

it wouldnt creep me out if a girl liked me because im normal. however it would definitely make me more conscious of her

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by I.sarkar

honestly no matter how much i value someone as a friend, if they were gay and liked me- i would immediately just get creeped out. things between us for me would just be awkward, especially for me. when that sort of thing happens, you just dont see a person the same way.

That's exactly why I'll never tell him I like him. The most I'd do is tell him I'm gay. The only chance with him I'll ever have is if by chance he's gay too. But I'd be happy for him to just know I'm gay, I wouldn't wanna scare him or anything by telling him I like him.

Reply 15

Original post by I.sarkar

thats just hormonal.

excuse me?

Reply 16

Original post by _Fergo

I wonder if Islam has anything to do with this :colonhash:

But seriously, liking someone doesn't mean that your behaviour changes towards them. It's the same whether gay or straight, girl or guy. If anything, I'd want others to be honest with me - these things happen and if one is not interested, the other person will eventually get over it.

So, OP, do tell him. If you don't feel comfortable telling him that you also like him, don't say both at once. Wait a bit to see his reaction (with regards to you being gay).

obviously it wouldnt change your behavior you twit. youve known all along. however it wiuld change someone who looked at you like a friend.
even if you were normal and confesses to girl, shed look at you differently if she didnt like you back

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Loopy91

Do you know what he thinks of gay people and that? If he doesn't seem homophobic then it's likely he will still see you the same way before. If not then he wasn't a true friend anyway.

As for liking him, I don't recommend telling him that now. If you're his best mate then surely you probably know him well enough to have a hunch about his sexuality. If he's straight I recommend biting your tongue about it. It's possible he might not be creeped out that you like him, he might actually be flattered, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Maybe in a few years if you get over him you could tell him then and laugh about it.

He always says words like ' :innocent:

' and stuff, but I do too, and I'm gay, so it means nothing to me. People often think he's gay and he denies it, but if you're in the closet you'd deny it anyway, right? He jokingly says homophobic things but I know deep down he isn't homophobic, I think he mainly says them to stop people thinking he's gay. (Whether he is actually gay or not I don't know).

Reply 18

Original post by Anonymous

That's exactly why I'll never tell him I like him. The most I'd do is tell him I'm gay. The only chance with him I'll ever have is if by chance he's gay too. But I'd be happy for him to just know I'm gay, I wouldn't wanna scare him or anything by telling him I like him.

hey, maybe that's a good first step. I know coming out can be scary but if he's as great as you say, he'll probably react better than you're expecting and keep it a secret if you're not ready to tell everyone.

I have friends who are girls who I'm really into and honestly I'd never have the guts to tell them, I think the fear of rejection is greater because they might not even be gay/bi, BUT I guess that would mean it's 100% not about you, it's literally just their sexuality, they still love you as a friend which sucks ik, but maybe isn't as crushing as the classic 'I don't like you'

Reply 19