Tuesday, 31st October 2017
Days until mocks: 27
Crisis Count: 1
I’m a mess.
An actual mess. My predicted grades may be high, but my actual grades won’t be. I’ve got so good at hiding how little I have my life together that people don’t believe the fact that, yes, I've only done two thirds of my chemistry homework and intend to do the rest in the actual lesson it’s due. I was supposed to leave this awful lifestyle behind me, but here I am less than four weeks before my mocks- the mocks that will give me the grades I submit on my college application- barely doing homework, never mind revision.
So today, I dragged myself through:
Maths: My evening started so well. As soon as I was through the door, I got out my arithmetic paper and did just over half of it, then did a few questions on the mock paper that are BOTH DUE ON THURSDAY. This is why you don’t do all your half term homework two days before it’s due, kids.
History: I still had just over two thirds of a whole mock to do, and I barely did two paragraphs. I got stuck on the final American West question (i’m going to blame it on the fact that I haven’t done American West for nearly a year) and didn’t do anymore, despite having gone to my old history teacher of help on that question.
Chemistry: Did the first half of the holiday that was about calculating relative formula mass without too much of a problem. The second half was harder and took me a lot longer, and I quickly grew restless and tired. I gave up, and because I don’t have the safety net of twenty minutes of form period because I'm doing fricking a level French questions, I'm planning on doing it in lesson. Wow. Much organisation. Such grade 8 student. My mother would be so proud.
Geography: I had some not compulsory but probably necessary notes to finish off that I never got around to doing that I'll use in an essay I'll be writing tomorrow. Looks like there’s double geography homework for me, then.
I’ve developed an awful habit of sleeping through my alarm so it doesn’t wake me up anymore, so I haven’t been getting up at 7. The last time I read was Saturday when I had to reread An Inspector Calls for English. I’m so underprepared and overwhelmed; hell, there’s year 10s more organised than me.
But most of all, I feel like I've really let this blog down. I’ve only been uploading study updates since Sunday, and none of them have been revision updates, more so ‘omg-so-much-homework-i-haven’t-done’ updates, so I'm really not achieving all that much. I’m not like everyone else on TSR: I’m not organised, my handwriting isn’t neat enough for pretty notes, I never manage to tick every box on a to-do list, I never have the motivation to do my homework every night it’s set. I just can’t. And I wish I could, but I can’t.
Maybe this blog won’t be as productive and studious as everyone else, but I'm hoping it’ll be relatable. (hell, there's not much else going for it now) I’m just a normal student who happens to be both predicted 8s and is cripplingly disorganised, and I'm sure that’s the same for a lot of people. I’m aware that I might have come across like I really know what I'm doing but, believe me, I don’t.
I need a miracle to get everything done for tomorrow.
It’s pretty late and I should be sleeping, but I want to do some Memrise or Quizlet before bed to make this day at least somewhat marginally productive.
happy halloween lol