Oh dear! My fianceé doesn't know about my kid!

You're getting married after being together for 11 months? Mate, you need to learn to keep you **** in your pants, whilst you're at it, slow down on this wedding stuff. Why the rush? That said, I have a feeling it's going to be on hold once you tell her. Can't believe you said you'd pay the money and wanted to see the child without even discussing it with her first. That's such a **** move that I'm kinda finding it hard to believe this is an actual legit thread.

I wouldnt hand over a lump sum unless there was a legal agreement as to what it covered etc.

Get a DNA test.

If you have that sort of money then you can readjust and delay things for a year or two or just adjust the amount you spend etc. Staggered payments should minimise the impact.

I'll look into splitting the payment up.
I had a legal agreement drafted by my solicitor.
I've organised a DNA test but I'm already positive it's my child.

I can't rearrange the wedding because my company is relocating in the few months after the wedding, so it was honestly the last available time we could get all family and friends together without having them have to fly out to Canada. and now it's hard to think this wedding won't be happening at all.

She's coming over in 3 hours, so I guess it's time. I'm shaking. Literally can't think straight.

I'll look into splitting the payment up.
I had a legal agreement drafted by my solicitor.
I've organised a DNA test but I'm already positive it's my child.

I can't rearrange the wedding because my company is relocating in the few months after the wedding, so it was honestly the last available time we could get all family and friends together without having them have to fly out to Canada. and now it's hard to think this wedding won't be happening at all.

She's coming over in 3 hours, so I guess it's time. I'm shaking. Literally can't think straight.

I wouldnt go for the overscripted because it could end up being ammunition for her to use or react against. Keep it short and let her take the lead.
Not one for drama and if shes worth spending the rest of your life with then she will take it in her stride.
Presumably the money is yours anyway, just state it once that it was before you met, so no infidelity.

People deal with a lot worse.

Assuming this is not a troll and giving you the benefit of the doubt:

Start by telling her you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her.

You have something to tell her that she will not like, but that you want to start married life with a clean slate, no secrets because you respect her.

Tell her that whatever decision she makes, you will respect that without question because it is hers to make, it is her life and she must decide how she wishes to live it with the full knowledge before she marries you - even if that means cancelling the wedding and footing the costs yourself.

Then tell her in plain, honest, simple truth with nothing held back.

She will ask many questions and will keep asking them so you must be prepared to answer truthfully anything that she needs an answer to.

Then, I'm afraid, you have to be prepared for her to throw it in your face.

On the other hand, she may not like it, and she may need a few days or even weeks to accept it, but at least you will know you have nothing to hide and people cannot hold cowardice over your head.

Good luck.

Fiance?? You were born in 1996 and you have a fiance?

Lump sum? She could probably still ask you for child support, so get everything sorted out officially. You are being incredibly reckless with every decision you make; calm down and stop doing things impulsively.

And I'd leave you if you lied or kept secrets like that!? How do you hide a child

It would be better if you payed her in instalments, 1.) It sounds dodgy her asking for a lump sum 2.) Even if it is 100% genuine, it's very demanding of her to ask for that, no one should treat you like that, she's walking all over you! 3.) How do you know she'll spend it on the kid??? For all you know she'll spend it on fancy cars and designer clothes. The beauty of paying in instalments is that you'll only give her enough for stuff for the kid. PS GET A DNA TEST don't hand over any money before you know it's definitely yours

I only found out Sunday night myself.

About 13 months ago I had an unprotected one night stand - stupid, I know.
The baby is now just under 4 months old, I found out Sunday night that the baby existed; the mother of the child requested a lump sum of £125,000 to look after the child, which I've agreed to pay - provided, I can see the child. She is genuine, that's all I know.

Now, this is where it gets complicated I'm getting married to my fianceé in January, the wedding is costing a small fortune so overlapping it with the demands of the baby's mother is a bitter pill. Plus we're planning to move out to Canada which will cost a little over £730,000! I already told my fianceé that I have a 2-year-old from a previous long-term relationship - so I'm not sure how she'll react to the news of another child. I'm 26, with two kids apparently - one of which my wife-to-be has no idea exists, neither did I a couple days ago!

I don't want to start a marriage on a backbone of lies, I could use some advice from some strangers, I'm terrified. I don't want that one-night-stand to ruin the life I've planned out for us, and end up costing me both emotionally and financially. Money isn't the main problem - it's my fianceé's reaction, how do I let her know without upsetting her.

And I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to spice things up, I've just got anxiety so naturally, my head inflates most situations.

About 13 months ago I had an unprotected one night stand - stupid, I know.
The baby is now just under 4 months old, I found out Sunday night that the baby existed; the mother of the child requested a lump sum of £125,000 to look after the child, which I've agreed to pay - provided, I can see the child. She is genuine, that's all I know.

Now, this is where it gets complicated I'm getting married to my fianceé in January, the wedding is costing a small fortune so overlapping it with the demands of the baby's mother is a bitter pill. Plus we're planning to move out to Canada which will cost a little over £730,000! I already told my fianceé that I have a 2-year-old from a previous long-term relationship - so I'm not sure how she'll react to the news of another child. I'm 26, with two kids apparently - one of which my wife-to-be has no idea exists, neither did I a couple days ago!

I don't want to start a marriage on a backbone of lies, I could use some advice from some strangers, I'm terrified. I don't want that one-night-stand to ruin the life I've planned out for us, and end up costing me both emotionally and financially. Money isn't the main problem - it's my fianceé's reaction, how do I let her know without upsetting her.

And I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to spice things up, I've just got anxiety so naturally, my head inflates most situations.

why in the name of strawberry cupckakes would you not tell her!! you crazzy! she is your damn fiance. trust! heard of that??. relationships are built on trust. you should of just told her instead of hiding it. good luck mate. i hope your fiance is understanding.

Hi, I am going to tell her today. The situation is a lot more complex, I only found out on Sunday about the child. It sounds preposterously shady, I hope she understands. Shaking.

"Oh even better"