Can gay and straight men be friends?

Reply 40

Andrew97

Entertainment Forum Helper, Debate & Current Affairs Helper

20

Original post by YouMadBro!

s a r c a s m

Hmm, sarcasm doesn’t work very well over the Internet does it?

Reply 41

username3161682

OP

19

Original post by scottsmith

from what I gather you are just looking for people to justify you not wanting to be friends with any men. People becomes friends because the like each other, share the same interest and hobbies and generally just like talking to each other, gender is not an important factor, if at all not even a factor. So if you want to be friends with females be friends with female, if you want to be friends the male be friends with male cause 95% of the people don't care about your gender or sexual preferences

I would love to be friends with gay men. They are like me, and many have similar interests to me. I naturally feel more comfortable being with people like me. I just don't feel comfortable being in a friendship with straight men.

Friendships have always been a difficulty for me, so I am asking questions to gage other people's thoughts. In my 16 years of life, I have had 0 true friends.

Reply 42

12haywardJ

16

Original post by Joe2001

I would love to be friends with gay men. They are like me, and many have similar interests to me. I naturally feel more comfortable being with people like me.

From this, do you want to talk about what you like about men without cringing them out?

Reply 43

arizonaidiot

18

I can confirm,I am chad

Reply 44

username2349793

17

Original post by Joe2001

Again, depends on the person. I still feel that sexuality does make it harder to be friends with others and the vibe would be completely off if I was friends with a straight guy. I would certainly be limiting conversational topics.

That's just a personal problem that you have and its seriously not healthy for you. You can't limit your friends group to a specific kind of person

Reply 45

username3161682

OP

19

Sorry, I am sounding a bit judgmental.
I have had bad experiences trying to befriend people in the past. This has led to me getting social anxiety. That makes it a lot harder for me to make friends, never mind trying to befriend those different to me. I have also had bad experiences with straight guys before, and feel looked down upon by them, hence my avoidance of many of them. My self-confidence is low, I will admit.

Reply 46

CleverSquirrel

21

most are quite shy tbh but i can see where youre coming from

Reply 47

username2349793

17

Original post by Joe2001

Sorry, I am sounding a bit judgmental.
I have had bad experiences trying to befriend people in the past. This has led to me getting social anxiety. That makes it a lot harder for me to make friends, never mind trying to befriend those different to me. I have also had bad experiences with straight guys before, and feel looked down upon by them, hence my avoidance of many of them. My self-confidence is low, I will admit.

I'm sorry to here that mate, but there really aren't that many (if any) differences between gay guys and straight guys

When you go to uni, there will be all manner of different people who you'll get along with, gay and straight

Reply 48

username3161682

OP

19

Original post by TrelaiBoy

I'm sorry to here that mate, but there really aren't that many (if any) differences between gay guys and straight guys

When you go to uni, there will be all manner of different people who you'll get along with, gay and straight

I just have a bit of a mental block against the whole idea.
Having social anxiety does lead to a fear of being judged, which is a major problem for me, and I fear that I would be judged if I admitted my sexuality to any straight guys whom I may befriend. With gay guys, you have less judgement in that way.

Reply 49

Anonymous #2

Peoples views on sexuality change soooo much when you’re 18/19 and leave school/go to University. Although growing up my parents were never open minded about it all, quite the opposite in fact.

I’m glad I was in a friend group that are open minded about it all. I wouldn’t put a tag on my sexuality but I think I might be bisexual (I don’t like the tag because it makes it seem like I’m attracted to men and women, I’m mostly attracted to women but I have fallen in love with a guy before, my friend in fact… who is straight… in all fairness I thought he was bisexual and he doesn’t come across as your typical straight guy.

I’ve had loads of straight guy friends and I’m friends with loads of girls and it’s never been much of an issue for me tbh although now that I think about it, if you’re gay, stay away from straight guys you think you’d like. Because if it gets deep and you catch feelings it’s tough, I’m still not over the guy I like, he knows how I feel and he was nice enough to make out with me and still hangs out with me but I have to accept it’ll never be a regular thing since he doesn’t enjoy it the same way I do although I think he’d do it again if we got drunk together though. But keeping our friendship is more important to me so I wouldn’t risk it, I also have to accept while I would be prepared to drop all my plans for him, spend ages with him and enjoy every second of it, he probably wouldn’t since its purely platonic for him like I would also feel comfortable just sitting quietly with him but he would probably feel weird or bored because he doesn’t share romantic feelings. Although my ‘crush’ for him was more of an emotional attraction, I wouldn’t love him because of sex... but I guess I would have sex because I love him but I don’t think that’s a choice.

So yeah.. you can be friends with straight guys but just don’t catch feelings and the easiest way to do this is to be in a relationship or have a balance of gay/bi friends. If you just interact with straight guys, I think sooner or later you’ll fall in love with one of them and it’s not fun… it’s worst than being rejected, no amount of self improvement, boob job, butt job or trying to make them jealous, etc can win them over, it is what it is and you’d have to move on…

Reply 50

Andrew97

Entertainment Forum Helper, Debate & Current Affairs Helper

20

Original post by Joe2001

I just have a bit of a mental block against the whole idea.
Having social anxiety does lead to a fear of being judged, which is a major problem for me, and I fear that I would be judged if I admitted my sexuality to any straight guys whom I may befriend. With gay guys, you have less judgement in that way.

A true friend would either support you, or not care whether you are Gay or not. I couldn't care less about my friends sexuality, doesn't make a difference to me.

Reply 51

KatelynWayman

8

I absolutely adore Courtney Act and Andrew. However, I do think that Shane J may have feelings for Andrew but I love how honest they are and how they both know were they are at with the relationship.

Reply 52

Napp

22

No, my obscenely good looks would be too much for the poor sod. Thus for their own good I cannot in good faith allow this to happen.

Reply 53

username2349793

17

Original post by Joe2001

I just have a bit of a mental block against the whole idea.
Having social anxiety does lead to a fear of being judged, which is a major problem for me, and I fear that I would be judged if I admitted my sexuality to any straight guys whom I may befriend. With gay guys, you have less judgement in that way.

If they judge you on your sexuality, they don't deserve to be your friend

Reply 54

username3161682

OP

19

Never made this point:
I love to watch shows like Strictly Come Dancing, prefer the type of music that is more popular with girls and would love a night out at a restaurant or cinema. Most straight guys like to watch football/rugby, prefer heavy metal type of music, and would rather spend a night drinking beer at a pub. To me, that's a key reason why I don't feel at ease around straight guys - they intimidate me and have different interests and ideas of what is/isn't fun.

Maybe I will be surprised and find some really nice straight guys who are like me, but I am dubious about that and realistically don't think I will have much straight male friends in the future. Certainly once I get to uni, I will not spend much time mixing with straight guys and actually make gay friends. It's what I need, otherwise I can't truly be myself.

Reply 55

username3161682

OP

19

This thread is a few months old, but I thought that I should do a follow up as I have had a slight change in heart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lcc8aWZYxVA
I watched the YouTube video linked above and really related to what the gay guy was saying. It made me think that I could actually be friends with straight guys in the future and that I just haven't met the right ones yet.

I would like to push out my comfort zone (much like he did) and find them, but it feels as if so many of them are blokeish and that is a turn off to me. Do you know where I can find them?