Relationship between 16 and 21 year old?
So, I've been talking to this guy from college who is doing an Apprenticeship and I'm doing a Btec. I'm interested in him, and he's admitted he's interested in me, but we're worried about the age gap.
Any advice for us?
Any advice for us?
Original post by esralled
Ask yourself why he can't find any girls his age. A five year age gap isn't that big between two people in their 30s, but there's a huge gap in emotional experience between a 16 and 21 year old.
It's not because he can't find girls, it's more because I'm as mature as him (according to him and everyone else I know) and we've had a connection since the day we first met a year ago. And he's asking for advice on this as much as I am.
Original post by Anonymous
It's not because he can't find girls, it's more because I'm as mature as him (according to him and everyone else I know) and we've had a connection since the day we first met a year ago. And he's asking for advice on this as much as I am.
I'm afraid I'm not convinced. A 21 year old has finished University. A 16 year old hasn't finished GCSEs
Original post by Anonymous
It's not because he can't find girls, it's more because I'm as mature as him (according to him and everyone else I know) and we've had a connection since the day we first met a year ago. And he's asking for advice on this as much as I am.
16 is not mature. 21 is barely.
Original post by esralled
I'm afraid I'm not convinced. A 21 year old has finished University. A 16 year old hasn't finished GCSEs
Not true, I finished taking my GCSEs last may, and I turned 16 in the July following. The 21-year-old is doing an apprenticeship with the college I attend and is in his final year - he did his A-levels first.
Original post by bones-mccoy
16 is not mature. 21 is barely.
In your experience yes, but the situation is different for many. While I wouldn't call him the most mature person in the world (I'm getting evils for saying that), he is as mature as you would expect a 21 year old to be, and I am quite mature for my age. Most people mistake my age for 19-20 when they first meet me due to my intelligence, not my looks, and it is due to the things I have been through.
I know my mother doesn't mind me having a relationship with this guy, as I've already discussed it with her. However, I am actually asking for an outsider's opinion, and any advice you would give us, as I'm also asking for him too.
The age gap itself is fine but the ages you are is not and makes it difficult.
Original post by DrawTheLine
The age gap itself is fine but the ages you are is not and makes it difficult.
Maybe it is difficult but it's not illegal, even if anything sexual were to happen - we've done our research.
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe it is difficult but it's not illegal, even if anything sexual were to happen - we've done our research.
Yes I never said it was illegal. Just be careful. You're still a kid and he's an adult, totally different parts of life.
Tbh it depends on how much u like him and what is ur maximum age gap to have between u and another guy
Look, everyone here has told you it's probably not a good idea. You don't seem to be entertaining that side of the discussion and are fairly defensive, so it sounds as if your mind is made up.
Nothing 'wrong' with it, nothing illegal. Just be aware that a 21 year old male is not going to be willing to wait around for sex, so if you yourself are not ready for that I would not say it is a good idea.
Nothing 'wrong' with it, nothing illegal. Just be aware that a 21 year old male is not going to be willing to wait around for sex, so if you yourself are not ready for that I would not say it is a good idea.
Original post by Matilda_b374
Tbh it depends on how much u like him and what is ur maximum age gap to have between u and another guy
I do like him quite a bit, and my maximum, at this point, is 5 years, and he's just under that (I think hes about 3 months away from being 5 years older than me), but I'm asking for advice on it.
Original post by LauraB101
Look, everyone here has told you it's probably not a good idea. You don't seem to be entertaining that side of the discussion and are fairly defensive, so it sounds as if your mind is made up.
Nothing 'wrong' with it, nothing illegal. Just be aware that a 21 year old male is not going to be willing to wait around for sex, so if you yourself are not ready for that I would not say it is a good idea.
Nothing 'wrong' with it, nothing illegal. Just be aware that a 21 year old male is not going to be willing to wait around for sex, so if you yourself are not ready for that I would not say it is a good idea.
My mind isn't as set as you think, but I've asked for advice, not a solid yes or no, which is what I've received. As far a sex goes, I've been ready for that since before I became legal, and he wouldn't be my first (I waited until I was legal though).
He's asking for advice as much as I am, and we actually want to know how to approach this. Obviously, that hasn't been understood, but that's what I'm asking for.
Original post by Anonymous
He's asking for advice as much as I am, and we actually want to know how to approach this. Obviously, that hasn't been understood, but that's what I'm asking for.
He's asking for advice as much as I am, and we actually want to know how to approach this. Obviously, that hasn't been understood, but that's what I'm asking for.
Oh, it's been understood. The answers you're getting are that it shouldn't be approached. I don't think anyone in sound mind would give you advice on how to make this relationship work, because in all honesty it shouldn't.
I'd wait until I'm older personally. There's no rush, and honestly, there is something sinister about this. This is especially the case as he is the male in the relationship, and physically mature, meaning he'd tower over you and overpower you with ease if my hunch was correct. The physical difference between a 16 year old and a 21 year old is vastly different from a 21 year old and a 26 year old, something that from this post, is never acknowledged by the older party, instead saying you're mentally mature, which feel like avoiding the matter at hand. This is just an observation from another male, by the way.
Original post by Anonymous
My mind isn't as set as you think, but I've asked for advice, not a solid yes or no, which is what I've received. As far a sex goes, I've been ready for that since before I became legal, and he wouldn't be my first (I waited until I was legal though).
He's asking for advice as much as I am, and we actually want to know how to approach this. Obviously, that hasn't been understood, but that's what I'm asking for.
He's asking for advice as much as I am, and we actually want to know how to approach this. Obviously, that hasn't been understood, but that's what I'm asking for.
Sorry I'm just more confused now, what are you seeking advice on if not whether you should have a relationship with him? Can you be specific? I don't know what you mean by 'approach'.
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