The Student Room Group

What to do when you are unhappy

Disclaimer - I'm scared that people will view me as a troll as I post a lot of threads on here, but I am simply lonely and don't have anyone to talk to, hence why I go on here. I'll be anonymous for this one.

I am a 16 year old guy, and feel very unhappy. I'll list the reasons below:
1) I am in the closet, so feel very isolated.
2) I haven't got friends, and the one I do have treats me very badly.
3) I feel very lonely at school.
4) I haven't got a social life.
5) I can't focus on school work due to feeling depressed.
6) I am fed up with my hometown. Nothing to do, full of neds.

Those are the main reasons. I just feel so trapped in my own thoughts, I have exams coming up, but I am struggling, and haven't got anyone to rely on.
Reply 1
Is there any way to get enjoyment out of life? I keep trying to pretend I am 10 years older and a completely different person, which isn't a good sign;
" Loneliness, combined with a general loss in ones purpose in life creates a combination, a chemical reaction of such potency, sending ones mind into a realm much deeper and darker then death itself; into a pit of darkness and despair, into a world full of inky black and evil and a constant state of lachrymose."
^ or something along the lines of that I forgot where it was from. It was really intense when the guy said it.

You have identified the problem, that is, the root cause for all your misery and unhappiness: you're lonely and depressed. You need to find friends or some sort of company as you will turn into a "4-chan creeping moms-basement dweller" and end up as a school shooter; okay well basically you will end up in a sticky situation.

To get friends you can join clubs that interest you. Do voluntary work that you generally enjoy. Like football? Join a football club. Clubs, work and places where you are forced into a social environment (often team-based/teamwork heavy) are the best ways of making friends, especially good ones, as social interaction is essential and valued. Maybe this will help you fight your depression. Hey i'm no therapist so maybe you should go see one; TSR can only offer you so much help, especially for something as hard as depression.

Let go of your friends that treat you badly. It will only add onto your depression, and trust; cutting out negativity in life will release that heavy weight inside of you right now. After this maybe you should come out the closet, it could lighten the burden you are experiencing. It will also reveal who accepts you for who you are, regardless of race, gender, sexuality colour whatever. You may be able to find people who like you for who you are;it will be much easier to make friends with these people/find common interests. There's nothing in my hometown; its a tiny village. That doesn't matter. What you do in it does though. Getting friends and making everlasting memories that will be cherished in adulthood is something to aim for.
Reply 3
Original post by mc_miah
" Loneliness, combined with a general loss in ones purpose in life creates a combination, a chemical reaction of such potency, sending ones mind into a realm much deeper and darker then death itself; into a pit of darkness and despair, into a world full of inky black and evil and a constant state of lachrymose."
^ or something along the lines of that I forgot where it was from. It was really intense when the guy said it.

You have identified the problem, that is, the root cause for all your misery and unhappiness: you're lonely and depressed. You need to find friends or some sort of company as you will turn into a "4-chan creeping moms-basement dweller" and end up as a school shooter; okay well basically you will end up in a sticky situation.

To get friends you can join clubs that interest you. Do voluntary work that you generally enjoy. Like football? Join a football club. Clubs, work and places where you are forced into a social environment (often team-based/teamwork heavy) are the best ways of making friends, especially good ones, as social interaction is essential and valued. Maybe this will help you fight your depression. Hey i'm no therapist so maybe you should go see one; TSR can only offer you so much help, especially for something as hard as depression.

Let go of your friends that treat you badly. It will only add onto your depression, and trust; cutting out negativity in life will release that heavy weight inside of you right now. After this maybe you should come out the closet, it could lighten the burden you are experiencing. It will also reveal who accepts you for who you are, regardless of race, gender, sexuality colour whatever. You may be able to find people who like you for who you are;it will be much easier to make friends with these people/find common interests. There's nothing in my hometown; its a tiny village. That doesn't matter. What you do in it does though. Getting friends and making everlasting memories that will be cherished in adulthood is something to aim for.


I think that the summer holiday might be a chance to try something new. I'm not sure what, to be honest, but I need something. I was at a school badminton club until recently, but I quit because it was full of kids 3-4 years younger than me, therefore not friendship material at this stage, and because the teacher who ran it is an idiot.
I absolutely love when I have the chance to have a really nice conversation with someone, so I do crave social interaction. I just need to get out there more.

As for coming out, I don't know who to come out to. Not my parents, that's for sure. However, if I am not out to them, that will limit some of the things that I want to do, so a bit of a Catch 22 situation.

I feel a bit regretful as I don't look back very positively at my childhood. I was never a real child and never had friends. I don't want all of my teenage years to be the same, although it is certainly going that way. I want positive memories from my pre 20's years.
Original post by Anonymous
Disclaimer - I'm scared that people will view me as a troll as I post a lot of threads on here, but I am simply lonely and don't have anyone to talk to, hence why I go on here. I'll be anonymous for this one.

I am a 16 year old guy, and feel very unhappy. I'll list the reasons below:
1) I am in the closet, so feel very isolated.
2) I haven't got friends, and the one I do have treats me very badly.
3) I feel very lonely at school.
4) I haven't got a social life.
5) I can't focus on school work due to feeling depressed.
6) I am fed up with my hometown. Nothing to do, full of neds.

Those are the main reasons. I just feel so trapped in my own thoughts, I have exams coming up, but I am struggling, and haven't got anyone to rely on.


I'm 17 and gay (though not in the closet). You can private message me to talk if you want to.
depends what it is for me:

If i'm unhappy about something on my social side of life (if i still believe that i have one) - then i either play video games or listen to music (but i only listen to music if i cant play games , that's my go to activity)

if it's something i'm unhappy with my education side of life then i usually talk about it with my parents (depending on how serious the situation is)

but tbh i would just immerse yourself in whatever activity you find enjoyable and as a break from reality
Original post by Anonymous
Disclaimer - I'm scared that people will view me as a troll as I post a lot of threads on here, but I am simply lonely and don't have anyone to talk to, hence why I go on here. I'll be anonymous for this one.

I am a 16 year old guy, and feel very unhappy. I'll list the reasons below:
1) I am in the closet, so feel very isolated.

Join an LGBT society? You don't need to tell your parents if you aren't ready.

Original post by Anonymous

2) I haven't got friends, and the one I do have treats me very badly.

Students can be very superficial and fake. Get a part-time job or volunteer and you'll be able to mingle with people who aren't students.
Original post by Anonymous

3) I feel very lonely at school.

See above.

Original post by Anonymous

5) I can't focus on school work due to feeling depressed.

Depression is strengthened 200% by a sedentary lifestyle and bad diet. Unfortunately, unless you go into blue collar work or a healthcare job you'll be sitting down on a computer for the rest of your life. So you better start building good habits. Go to the gym, start lifting. Get on a healthy diet. Since you're gay you should look into bodybuilding. Lots of gay men like guys with muscle. Women too, but gay men like it much more. Look at gay p-0rnz, half of it is muscle stuff.

Original post by Anonymous

6) I am fed up with my hometown. Nothing to do, full of neds.

Neds? You're Scottish I assume? Come to Edinburgh, there aren't many neds here. Well there's some but most of them are in areas like Slateford and Wester Hailes. There's lots of LGBT stuff going on at the uni.
Reply 7
Original post by rickyrossman
Join an LGBT society? You don't need to tell your parents if you aren't ready.

Students can be very superficial and fake. Get a part-time job or volunteer and you'll be able to mingle with people who aren't students.

Depression is strengthened 200% by a sedentary lifestyle and bad diet. Unfortunately, unless you go into blue collar work or a healthcare job you'll be sitting down on a computer for the rest of your life. So you better start building good habits. Go to the gym, start lifting. Get on a healthy diet. Since you're gay you should look into bodybuilding. Lots of gay men like guys with muscle. Women too, but gay men like it much more. Look at gay p-0rnz, half of it is muscle stuff.

Neds? You're Scottish I assume? Come to Edinburgh, there aren't many neds here. Well there's some but most of them are in areas like Slateford and Wester Hailes. There's lots of LGBT stuff going on at the uni.


1. I can't join an LGBT society without my parents knowing. I would love to though.
2. My parents have suggested that I get a little job at the summer or next year. I'm not sure, but maybe it will improve my social life.
3. I want to work on the entertainment on cruise ships, so not a 9-5 desk job whatsoever. As for the bodybuilding thing, I am not in great shape at the moment so need to work on that first. Gay men have high standards.
4. Edinburgh is much better than Glasgow (my hometown). Definitely a nice area.
Reply 8
I really want to go to Pride this year. Maybe that will help me meet more LGBT people. Problem is that I can't do that without my parents questioning it.
Original post by Anonymous
I really want to go to Pride this year. Maybe that will help me meet more LGBT people. Problem is that I can't do that without my parents questioning it.


Go to pride in another city? Make an excuse that you're going somewhere with somebody.
Original post by rickyrossman
Go to pride in another city? Make an excuse that you're going somewhere with somebody.


I don't have anyone to go with. I'm thinking of possibly saying that I am going to spend the day in the city centre (having lunch/going to cinema) and actually attend Pride instead. It's on 14th/15th July, so I'm just hoping that I won't be vacationing anywhere then.
Anything else that I can do? My main wishes are to improve my social life, feel better in myself and to meet more gay people, which in turn could possibly lead to a relationship. I just wish that I was 10 years older and living my dream.
To start, where can I meet people? At the end of the day, I want to conquer my depression and actually enjoy my life for once.
If I am unhappy, should I stay at school for another year? The problem is that I don't have anywhere to go. I just want out, and to have a fresh start, make friends and be happy.

Does anyone have some advice?
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
Disclaimer - I'm scared that people will view me as a troll as I post a lot of threads on here, but I am simply lonely and don't have anyone to talk to, hence why I go on here. I'll be anonymous for this one.

I am a 16 year old guy, and feel very unhappy. I'll list the reasons below:
1) I am in the closet, so feel very isolated.
2) I haven't got friends, and the one I do have treats me very badly.
3) I feel very lonely at school.
4) I haven't got a social life.
5) I can't focus on school work due to feeling depressed.
6) I am fed up with my hometown. Nothing to do, full of neds.

Those are the main reasons. I just feel so trapped in my own thoughts, I have exams coming up, but I am struggling, and haven't got anyone to rely on.


also queer and closeted, private message me if you want to talk, ik hard it can be not feeling safe about it

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