The Student Room Group

Should I transfer uni?

I’m currently a first year studying modern languages and cultures at Durham university, but so far my time there hasn’t been enjoyable and I’m seriously considering transferring to a uni closer to home. I’ve found it really hard to make friends whilst at Durham and the collegiate system hasn’t helped; everyone seems to want to only socialise with others in their college and on top of that, people seem surprisingly opposed to the idea of getting to know people. I’ve never had any issues making friends before but currently i have only one person I would consider a really good friend and then a couple of people I have spoken to a couple of times, but never really gotten anywhere with. I didn’t go out very much the first few weeks of starting because I was trying to get used to my studies and find my way around and things but that seems to be when everyone else established their friend groups and after that no one seemed interested in adding another person to their group. The county as a whole is also hindering my enjoyment of being at the university since there is literally nothing to do. It’s so boring and the only thing you *can* do is go to a cafe and as a student, going and getting coffee every other day isn’t exactly sustainable from a financial perspective. The night life is also really bad so I feel like I’m missing out on the whole ‘uni experience’. Everyone always says how you meet your best friends at uni and have the time of your life but so far none of that has proven to be true at Durham. I don’t really have an issue with the course I am studying itself in terms of difficulty, however I have found that a lot of the lectures are pretty much pointless since we get given access to the PowerPoints beforehand and then when we actually attend the lecture, it is not uncommon for the lecturer to literally read off the PowerPoint word for word and add zero addiction so information or context so it feels like what is the point and what am I even attending for? i don’t know whether it would be very different if I were to transfer and study the same course elsewhere but I feel that if I were to transfer closer to home then I might be happier, since I would be closer to friends and family and there would be a lot more to do. I’m just really contradicted as to whether I should transfer or not because I will be moving into a new accommodation place next year with new people if I stay on at Durham so maybe it will be like a fresh start? And then I feel like I’m throwing my hard work to get into a prestigious university like Durham down the drain if I transfer to a different one. Because having a degree from Durham will probably look a lot better on my CV than the other universities I am considering. I just don’t know how worth it it is to carry on if I’m just going to be unhappy. And I don’t know if I would even be any happier if I did transfer. So if anyone has been in a similar position or has any advice that would be greatly appreciated.


I just want to add that I have joined societies and stuff to try and get to know more people, but again people seem very unwilling to get to know me because they have mostly all joined the societies with friends they have already made.
(edited 1 month ago)
Hey,,

If your truly unhappy, move, I did
Original post by Lazy.marshmallow
I’m currently a first year studying modern languages and cultures at Durham university, but so far my time there hasn’t been enjoyable and I’m seriously considering transferring to a uni closer to home. I’ve found it really hard to make friends whilst at Durham and the collegiate system hasn’t helped; everyone seems to want to only socialise with others in their college and on top of that, people seem surprisingly opposed to the idea of getting to know people. I’ve never had any issues making friends before but currently i have only one person I would consider a really good friend and then a couple of people I have spoken to a couple of times, but never really gotten anywhere with. I didn’t go out very much the first few weeks of starting because I was trying to get used to my studies and find my way around and things but that seems to be when everyone else established their friend groups and after that no one seemed interested in adding another person to their group. The county as a whole is also hindering my enjoyment of being at the university since there is literally nothing to do. It’s so boring and the only thing you *can* do is go to a cafe and as a student, going and getting coffee every other day isn’t exactly sustainable from a financial perspective. The night life is also really bad so I feel like I’m missing out on the whole ‘uni experience’. Everyone always says how you meet your best friends at uni and have the time of your life but so far none of that has proven to be true at Durham. I don’t really have an issue with the course I am studying itself in terms of difficulty, however I have found that a lot of the lectures are pretty much pointless since we get given access to the PowerPoints beforehand and then when we actually attend the lecture, it is not uncommon for the lecturer to literally read off the PowerPoint word for word and add zero addiction so information or context so it feels like what is the point and what am I even attending for? i don’t know whether it would be very different if I were to transfer and study the same course elsewhere but I feel that if I were to transfer closer to home then I might be happier, since I would be closer to friends and family and there would be a lot more to do. I’m just really contradicted as to whether I should transfer or not because I will be moving into a new accommodation place next year with new people if I stay on at Durham so maybe it will be like a fresh start? And then I feel like I’m throwing my hard work to get into a prestigious university like Durham down the drain if I transfer to a different one. Because having a degree from Durham will probably look a lot better on my CV than the other universities I am considering. I just don’t know how worth it it is to carry on if I’m just going to be unhappy. And I don’t know if I would even be any happier if I did transfer. So if anyone has been in a similar position or has any advice that would be greatly appreciated.
I just want to add that I have joined societies and stuff to try and get to know more people, but again people seem very unwilling to get to know me because they have mostly all joined the societies with friends they have already made.

Hi @Lazy.marshmallow

Sorry to hear your time at university has not been enjoyable so far.
From my experience comparing yourself to others can be hard not to do but really hurtful to yourself. Everyone's experience at uni is different and what you see from the outside may not be how others actually feel and experience. Personally, I struggled with the notion that you meet your friends for life at uni because similar to you I was looking for this out of my experience and it didn't happen. For some people they do and others you just might not.. I came to realise that my expereince at uni was unique and my own and saw me change and grow. Uni was where I was studying a course I wanted to, I was involved in the clubs and societies I was interested in, I worked, I lived away from home and from different parts of this I did make some friends which developed over my time at uni or just in my final year. Whilst it wasn't the anticipated uni experience it was my experience and I grew to realise it was on me to make it mine.
That being said if you are not enjoying your time and it is making you disengaged and unhappy it may be the sign to make a change. Before making a decision you might regret, I would suggest getting in touch with the uni that you want to transfer to and see if this is possible or if you would have to apply for first year entry of the course. Also be mindful this might have an impact financially for additional years of study.
Hope things get better and you can enjoy being a student which ever decision you chose to make about which uni to be at.
Catherine University of Strathclyde Student Ambassador
Original post by Lazy.marshmallow
I’m currently a first year studying modern languages and cultures at Durham university, but so far my time there hasn’t been enjoyable and I’m seriously considering transferring to a uni closer to home. I’ve found it really hard to make friends whilst at Durham and the collegiate system hasn’t helped; everyone seems to want to only socialise with others in their college and on top of that, people seem surprisingly opposed to the idea of getting to know people. I’ve never had any issues making friends before but currently i have only one person I would consider a really good friend and then a couple of people I have spoken to a couple of times, but never really gotten anywhere with. I didn’t go out very much the first few weeks of starting because I was trying to get used to my studies and find my way around and things but that seems to be when everyone else established their friend groups and after that no one seemed interested in adding another person to their group. The county as a whole is also hindering my enjoyment of being at the university since there is literally nothing to do. It’s so boring and the only thing you *can* do is go to a cafe and as a student, going and getting coffee every other day isn’t exactly sustainable from a financial perspective. The night life is also really bad so I feel like I’m missing out on the whole ‘uni experience’. Everyone always says how you meet your best friends at uni and have the time of your life but so far none of that has proven to be true at Durham. I don’t really have an issue with the course I am studying itself in terms of difficulty, however I have found that a lot of the lectures are pretty much pointless since we get given access to the PowerPoints beforehand and then when we actually attend the lecture, it is not uncommon for the lecturer to literally read off the PowerPoint word for word and add zero addiction so information or context so it feels like what is the point and what am I even attending for? i don’t know whether it would be very different if I were to transfer and study the same course elsewhere but I feel that if I were to transfer closer to home then I might be happier, since I would be closer to friends and family and there would be a lot more to do. I’m just really contradicted as to whether I should transfer or not because I will be moving into a new accommodation place next year with new people if I stay on at Durham so maybe it will be like a fresh start? And then I feel like I’m throwing my hard work to get into a prestigious university like Durham down the drain if I transfer to a different one. Because having a degree from Durham will probably look a lot better on my CV than the other universities I am considering. I just don’t know how worth it it is to carry on if I’m just going to be unhappy. And I don’t know if I would even be any happier if I did transfer. So if anyone has been in a similar position or has any advice that would be greatly appreciated.
I just want to add that I have joined societies and stuff to try and get to know more people, but again people seem very unwilling to get to know me because they have mostly all joined the societies with friends they have already made.

Hi there,

I'm sorry to read about your struggles. I found it similarly hard to adjust when coming to university. First, I should point out that it may not necessarily be easier to adjust and make friends in a university closer to your home town - and if you resort back to that 'bubble', then it may not be the university experience that you might imagine. That being said, if you think that this would be good for you, then only you can make that choice.

Ultimately, in my opinion, the course is not necessarily about how easy it is, but about your interest and how much you enjoy it. Also, make sure to look into your second and third-year modules before making a choice - I personally found these much more interesting that my first-year, more generic modules.
Reply 4
Where would be closer to home for you?
n.b. closeness to home doesn't necessarily correlate to more visits home nor more desire to visit home as it can make you feel more childish to do so when you're young.

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