should I make a complaint about this teacher

The other day my 13 year old son grazed his pelvis during a PE accident. He needed medical assistance he did not to need to go to hospital one of women PE teachers gave him some first aid put a bandage over him. My son told me he was asked by this female member of staff if he could take his pe shorts off as that was the only way she could look at him and examine the pelvis injury and put the bandage around it. The issues that I am most concerned about as a parent is firstly why this female member of staff did not ask him to remove the shorts in private and secondly why she did not just give him the bandage to put on himself he wears briefs as that is what I prefer my son to wear. I am sure all this was done in good spirit I don't really want to go into it, now my son is understandably quite upset and embarrassed by this as this woman saw his briefs , I don't really think this was necessary or appropriate for him to have take his shorts off around a woman PE teacher. I not sure if I should take this any further should I bringing my concerns to schools attention should I report this teacher any advice.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 1

Shanine.bowen6

8

If your son was girl, and if the teacher was a male, it would most likely be classed as some sort of sexual harassment and would definitely because against safeguarding guidelines. She was completely in the wrong, especially if she did not do it somewhere private for your son to feel more of,moor table, or give him other options (the main part of me learning first aid was to focus on what the casualty can do themselves to avoid anything like this). I'd definitely bring it up, and if they don't see it do a gender reverse and makes them see it in that light. He was made to feel uncomfortable which is not what he should feel in an educational environment. Report it and ensure that teachers corrected. Hope he is okay :smile:

Reply 2

Studierrrrr

11

I most certainly think you should talk to the head of the year. Perhaps just talk to him in a matter where it doesn't seem you want to do anything big but just explaining your concern. If your son is feeling pressurised into doing anything that he doesn't seem comfortable with I think that's already big red flags. That was really inconsiderate of his teacher to not even give him the plaster and let him finish up himself. I would definitely talk to the head of the year and voice my concern. It doesn't have to be dealt with overdramatically but yes, someone should definitely say something about it. x

Reply 3

doodle_333

19

It's normal, she had to give him first aid. If he wanted to have a male teacher he could have asked for one. He could also have refused but then they'd probably have to call you if they didn't know if he was badly hurt.

Reply 4

Studierrrrr

11

Um. That's things. It isn't normal since he was quite upset by it. I think any teacher would know that it would be a bit embarrassing for him. And also it's not him asking for a male teacher or refusing, it's what the teacher should have thought in the first place. In the end, it's completely your decision and how hurt your son feel about this.

Original post by doodle_333

It's normal, she had to give him first aid. If he wanted to have a male teacher he could have asked for one. He could also have refused but then they'd probably have to call you if they didn't know if he was badly hurt.

Reply 5

StriderHort

21

Sounds made up :rolleyes:

Reply 6

Bio 7

21

Original post by StriderHort

Sounds made up :rolleyes:

The part about choosing what they wear makes it seem so to me, despite that being a thing that happens. I’m not sure it really rings true.

Reply 7

Kindred

20

Original post by Lena Franks

The other day my 13 year old son grazed his pelvis during a PE accident. He needed medical assistance he did not to need to go to hospital one of women PE teachers gave him some first aid put a bandage over him. My son told me he was asked by this female member of staff if he could take his pe shorts off as that was the only way she could look at him and examine the pelvis injury and put the bandage around it. The issues that I am most concerned about as a parent is firstly why this female member of staff did not ask him to remove the shorts in private and secondly why she did not just give him the bandage to put on himself he wears briefs as that is what I prefer my son to wear. I am sure all this was done in good spirit I don't really want to go into it, now my son is understandably quite upset and embarrassed by this as this woman saw his briefs , I don't really think this was necessary or appropriate for him to have take his shorts off around a woman PE teacher. I not sure if I should take this any further should I bringing my concerns to schools attention should I report this teacher any advice.

I think an important question here would be what you would hope to achieve from a report.
It doesn't sound to me like any intentional harassment or embarassment took place and it doesn't sound like you think so either so I'm assuming you're not looking for any sort of punishment for the teacher.
It seems that the real issue you have her is a (quite understandably) embarassed son and maybe a bit of concerns about how it happened and if it could happen again. So prehaps a good outcome would be an appology from the teacher to your son and the school having a think about how they handle situations like this and maybe working on something to avoid a situation like this happening again (like a privacy screen or moving the student to the first aid room).

I would think that making a formal complaint (at least for now) isn't necessary and also risks the teacher facing backlash for a mistake while trying to help your son along with potentially the school becoming defensive and meaning any resolution is less likely.
What I would do instead is firstly talk to your son about what he would like to happen. Hes's the most important part here and you don't want to go stiring things up if it's going to make him even more unhappy. Assuming you son is okay with it I would then email the school (keep a record of everything just in case the do act like jerks for some stupid reason) saying that an unfortionate situation happened with you son (explain it pretty much as you have here) and you and he would appreciate if you could talk to the school about it and get an appology to make your son feel better. You could also ask for them to consider talking to their teachers about it so they are more likely to think of the privacy of their students in any future first aid situations. You can say that you think it would make a good examle for you son of how you can learn and make positives out of mistakes.
Don't make any accusations. Show that you understand it was just an unfortionate mistake within a responsible and well meaning act and all you want is for you son to feel as little negative emotion as possible from it.

With any luck they will respond well to that, your son will get an appology and the school might work on avoiding it in the future.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 8

Studierrrrr

11

Original post by StriderHort

Sounds made up :rolleyes:

What seems made up? The story or the response?

Reply 9

Sammylou40

20

Well obviously you’re a troll.
And there are plenty of reasons to assume it’s not true
The main one being that a teacher would use a bandage in school. Doesn’t happen. It’s not acceptable practice. If a teacher thought dressings were required they would insist on medical treatment. To cover themselves as much as anything.
Underwear is irrelevant. And so is the sex of the person who administers first aid
But it didn’t happen anyway

Reply 10

StriderHort

21

Original post by Studierrrrr

What seems made up? The story or the response?

The story, OP has a thing for teenage boys in 'briefs'.

Reply 11

ageshallnot

21

It's interesting how many people don't believe the OP. Have people read the OP's other threads, I wonder?

Reply 12

StriderHort

21

Original post by ageshallnot

It's interesting how many people don't believe the OP. Have people read the OP's other threads, I wonder?

The author of such threads as ' Women do you think briefs are the most attractive underwear on guy?' & '16 year old brother wants me to buy boxers'? and so on :rolleyes:

Reply 13

ageshallnot

21

Original post by StriderHort

The author of such threads as ' Women do you think briefs are the most attractive underwear on guy?' & '16 year old brother wants me to buy boxers'? and so on :rolleyes:

It's a slight hint ..

EDIT: And to be frank, experienced members of the TSR team shouldn't waste their time on threads like these.