Cut off from all support

my parents? haha no. theyre not rich. I'm on universal credit, just been awarded some extra cash and declared unfit for work which is good news for me, but I still don't think it would stretch.

It might be worth looking into. Failing that, some charities do offer therapy or counselling depending on the issue. Or if you fulfill criteria for PIP then it might be worth applying for it and using that money for therapy.

Regarding the psychiatrist, could you see someone else? Or you could ask to be referred out of the MH trust to a different team?

if you want a definition of depression i think the DSM is a more reliable source.
when i said different opinions i mean about physical things as well, for instance I'm on omeprazole and each doctor in my surgery has a
different opinion as to whether or not it is harmful to take in the long term. but that's just the tip of the iceberg. i have a heart condition too and a cyst in the neck and both need monitoring every year for the rest of my life. what fun, right?

yeah the PIP application form is a nightmare having to answer questions like, can you go to the toilet on your own, can your raise both your arms, can you eat food on your own, it's quite degrading tbh. and it's so long! i don't think i'd fit the criteria anyway.
I don't think I could be referred to another psychiatrist in the nhs, it's always the same team. it would only happen if I lived in a different borough or something.

Not really a definition. I'm a medical student, so I understand these things from an abstract point of view. It's more the subjective experience of an individual, as that's what's important.

Well I can't say it doesn't sound rough. You mentioned your loneliness and lack of friends, if you don't mind me asking, what do you think is the reason as to why you haven't got any friends?

Yeah, it is a nightmare. I do get PIP and ESA, so I understand.

It might be worth asking if you can be referred within the same team. Or if not out of trust. I've had that offered before because of issues I had with the team I was under. Also had/have massive issues with the trust itself. Ironically also just saw a different psychiatrist a few days ago because I wasn't getting on with my previous one.

Are your parents supportive at all? Might be worth making a complaint if you feel you're getting inadequate care. Friends of mine have done this on my behalf when I've been too ill to do it myself.

i'm not even sure if i'd fit into the definition of depression anymore tbh. I think i've gone beyond that into something more disturbing. lol.
maybe people see me as needy. I tend to latch on to people and I'm always the one who takes the initiative to arrange meetings. Seems contradictory for someone with supposed anxiety and depression, I know, but there it is.

Alright, so tell me about this 'disturbing'. I was in a disturbing mindset not too long ago, let's see how it compares.

Hmm, well, I think, correct me if I'm wrong, but people with mental health issues need more time to deal with, in the sense that you need to approach them more cautiously, think about what you say to them for fear of saying the wrong thing, hurting their feelings etc. and I think it is hard for some people to cope with that. And many people are superficially minded anyway, so not like they would give a damn about anyone elses feelings.

And I don't think it's contradictory at all, it makes perfect sense. You have troubles going on in your mind, and you need to feel listened to, to get these things off your mind, and that requires trying to build and maintain relationships with people you feel you can open up to.

it seems like you would have to be very disabled in order to meet the criteria for PIP. I tried many years ago but I failed the assessment. if you dont mind my asking, how did you get it? and do you know if you'll get moved to universal credit eventually? i didn't think ESA even existed anymore.
my parents are supportive insofar as they can be. there's not a lot that they can do really apart from not chucking me out into the streets lol.
Ive made complaints before for different reasons, i'm too tired to go through the whole procedure again. they never act on what was said.

Ah, my needs are just pretty high, I need help in most areas for various reasons. I don't just have mental health issues though. Unfortunately a lot of people are turned down, especially for mental health. Despite getting awarded PIP she lied a lot on the form to minimise my difficulties (although I still got awarded it without the need to appeal or do a mandatory reconsideration). Tbh they also turn people down a lot for ESA/UC too. And yeah probably, I was reassessed for ESA the end of last year, idk when I'll get migrated over to UC. But yeah it is still around, you just can't apply for income related ESA anymore.

That's sort of sad that you don't get more support from your parents. Do you have siblings?

Could you get some help from your local MIND to see if they can help advocate for you? They might be able to help you through the complaints process.

If you want someone to chat to, you're welcome to message me.

i'm not sure if it's something i can share on here without the whole thread being closed down lol.
I don't think that's true, and I'd hate to think people need to treat on eggshells around me. On the contrary, I often feel as though I have to think about what I say for fear of hurting someone's feelings or coming across in the wrong way.
I think it's more a case of needing a distraction. When I ask to meet someone it's not because I want to have deep discussions with them necessarily, it's more so that I can get out of the house and distract myself for a while.

*tread on eggshells

Yeah I didn't think of that, my thoughts would probably have closed down the thread as well lol
Why do you feel like that, that you often fear hurting people's feelings?

And even though you've said you've got no friends, do you get anyone going out with you?


And you can edit your comments lol, you don't have to respond twice

i don't know, i'm not the most social person and I often say things that I later regret because it was just awkward. there is perhaps one person with whom i go out occasionally, but that's it. i had another friendship but it ended badly after i confronted her for basically ghosting me for three months. it seems like sometimes my negativity can draw people away, unsurprisingly.
can't edit my posts if i'm on anon.

well considering i've been deemed unfit for work or work related activities, that might make me eligible for PIP too? maybe i'll try again lol. I don't think universal credit affects it.
no i don't have any siblings and my parents are divorced.
Mind are quite good, I was volunteering for them a while back. I'm not sure what they'd be able to do for me though.

i don't know, i'm not the most social person and I often say things that I later regret because it was just awkward. there is perhaps one person with whom i go out occasionally, but that's it. i had another friendship but it ended badly after i confronted her for basically ghosting me for three months. it seems like sometimes my negativity can draw people away, unsurprisingly.
can't edit my posts if i'm on anon.

When you say these things is it because it's your nature or are you just trying to socialise?

Ah, I didn't realise.

just my crappy nature I guess. maybe i think things over too much.

Yeah, you might. It does depend on why you were deemed unfit though. Like the reason I'm on ESA in the support group is widely applicable to PIP. PIP isn't means tested, you could be earning 100k a year and still get it. You just need good and reliable evidence.

It's worth a shot. I've never personally asked for their help, but my mum did ask for their help when she wasn't sure of her rights when I almost got put on section 3. They might know how to help you with your current situation or sign post you to a more appropriate service.

I do get your frustration though. I often get frustrated with services, usually because they don't know what to do with me or they tell me to just get over what I'm struggling with (e.g. the crisis team manager telling me to just stop being anorexic or my psychiatrist to stop being upset that my friends have died, etc. Some professionals are morons, but they're not all like that). I try not to tar them with the same brush though because at the end of the day it is up to me, even if I feel trapped by my current situation.

So are you an awkward person by nature lol?

And honestly, does it make you feel any better speaking to strangers online?