Not enjoying Freshers week

Anyone else struggling during Freshers week? I have tried to make an effort but as the only non drinker in my flat I feel like I have been shunned. Im happy to gout out and do things but I don't want to go to drinking events, flatmates only want to attend those.....
I don't want to sit in my room all year but its hard to bond with people who are loud and obnoxious when they're drunk. It doesn't help that the freshers rep seems to just want to socialize with the drinkers.
Hopefully I can meet people on my course, I've tried to make conversation with lots of people but it just feels random.
I'm ready to go home and give up and my course has not even started yet as its already affecting my mental health. Is there anywhere I can turn to when I'm feeling like this?

Reply 1

Mabey

I'm feeling the same way. I'm not a massive drinker, and its hard to have fun around drunk people when you are sober. Lets hope we find some like minded people :smile:

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Reply 2

Apachecow

One of my uni regrets is not going out more and drinking more and having more fun while those opportunities presented. Maybe let your hair down, get some drinks in you and see how you feel about things?

Most people drink because its fun. I'm sure you will miss out if you don't.

Reply 3

Joe1000000

You've been at Lancaster for at most 3 days. It's fair enough that you're not enjoying Freshers week, not everyone does. But the rest of university isn't like that.

You've spent at most 4 hours with the people on your course, give it some time to get to know people, especially during the first week of teaching and beyond.

Finally go to Freshers fayre and get involved in stuff, find at least one society and join it, it really is the best way to meet people outside of your course.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I'm also at Lancaster university and finding it still quite daunting. What college are you in? Maybe we could meet up and actually do something and say stuff that is more meaningful rather than the constant small talk

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

I'm also a fresher at Lancaster - I was never a big drinker and had never been on a night out before drinking until this week. Psychologically, in social situations, people tend perceive those who say yes to things as more approachable, however if they make you feel really uncomfortable then don't feel pressured to do so. This week, I've said yes to a lot of things that I wouldn't otherwise usually want to do but I'm glad I did. I was really scared that I wouldn't get along with my flat but I think we all get on quite well. I agree that the freshers reps seem to only be interested in drinking and partying and if you don't they just sort of shun you a bit. Our freshers rep is only interested in the drinking events and hasn't really told us about anything else that went on during the week, we pretty much did everything ourselves.

I think you once lectures get going you'll enjoy yourself more as you get to know your coursemates. If your flat just aren't your kind of people, it's fine! Just to be sure to make an effort with your coursemates or people from societies (if you want to join one) and approach them if everyone's waiting to go into a lecture theatre or whatever. If there are people sitting alone, go sit with them; ask them their name/college/if they know this or if they know that or where that is or if they're going to this. Once you touch on some common ground (like a TV show or music), just keep rolling with it. Keep smiling and be positive! You'll find something to bond over! Keep trying to talk to your coursemates and try finding one at your college so you have someone to go with. Have you tried going to some of the quieter nights or pub quizes? I went to the one at the Chaplaincy and they put people with others to fill up groups, so that might be a good place to meet friends if you love a good quiz..?

Reply 6

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Hi anon,
I'm sorry freshers week isn't going to well, but please remember it's only a week out of what will be 93 if you're doing a three year course! I didn't have the best freshers week, I also don't drink and I felt excluded from social events that I didn't go to because I felt uncomfortable. Drunk people are definitely quite annoying! It will be a lot easier once you start and you have seminars/practicals/workshops were you can speak to people more easily. There's lots of societies that are primarily non-drinking as well e.g. baking, where the activity is not focused around alcohol and you can meet people and those will start kicking off next week. I'd recommend looking up the transitions team, they run loads of non-drinking events for people to meet up and their whole job is about helping people settle in and you can talk to other similar students but also the professionals. If you're feeling very low you can contact your college wellbeing team for an appointment, if you personal message me with your college I'll send along all the information!
Hope this helps and let me know if there's anything I can help you with - I promise it'll get easier, just be patient, and keep trying, your efforts won't go unnoticed by others that deserve you as a friend!
Charlotte :smile:

3rd year Biological Sciences with Biomedicine

Reply 7

username4929556

Thanks for the Transition Team tip, Charlotte. Is the Biology Society a good one to join for non-drinking Bio students?

Reply 8

Anonymous #4

You guys know you don’t need to be a massive drinker to have fun/make friends. It’s this stupid uni stigma that has just been reinforced for god knows how long.

I’m a fresher and whilst I do enjoy alcohol once in a while, I’m not a massive drinker. Like I’ll go out once in a while and drink etc, but no heavy drinker.

During freshers week I went out to some of the ‘club like events’ on campus with my flatmates and I was 100% sober with no alcohol in me. I had a great time and they are my pretty good friends at this uni. If you make alcohol such a big thing and so important as a key to making friends then it really will just trump you. Look beyond the alcohol, go out sober and just fkin talk to people and see how that goes. Don’t let not drinking stop you!!