What do I do I don&#x27;t think I&#x27;m lesbian but...

If yous aint gay then yous aint gay

Move on

Reply 21

I do think you should give her a chance to reply so that you can build your confidence and then you won’t be so worried and the conversation will just flow because you will be much more comfortable. I don’t think you should just leave it as “message deleted”. If I text again with a message deleted before it doesn’t look weird it just looks like there was a mistake or something in the message (like a typo) that I wanted to change.
I know what it feels like to put yourself out there and feel totally out of your comfort zone and start to panic, but the best thing you can do is trust yourself and look out for the signs - and if you have ever put this question on TSR and explaining how ur feeling and asking whether u should message her should be enough of a sign that really you do like her and you do WANT to message her.
Take the signs life gives you and have CONFIDENCE in yourself. Be unapologetically who you are and if people don’t like it, that is THEIR loss!!

Reply 22

OP

..

Reply 23

Do you have any contact details for her? And what help are you getting to improve your self confidence?

Reply 24

Greywolf.

22

Is blushing contagious? 🤦*♂️

Reply 25

OP

;.

Reply 26

A_J_T

10

Original post by FrancescaC2000

Sexuality is fluid. It can change and evolve all the time and is on a whole wide spectrum. There isn't just bi, gay, straight, pan. You can be a combination all over. Sometimes sex is purely physical, sometimes it's purely emotional. Relationships work the same in this way. If you do like her / are attracted to her, that doesn't mean you're a lesbian (but even if it did who cares?) because there are no strict and plain answers to sexuality.

This doesn't make sense to me. I'm a guy and I'm straight af. That's it.

Reply 27

Original post by A_J_T

This doesn't make sense to me. I'm a guy and I'm straight af. That's it.

That's fine if that's how you identify your sexuality, but for most people sexuality isn't just 'gay or straight af'. Sexual behaviour is used for multiple reasons. For example (bleakly) rape isn't about sex or sexual attraction, rape is about power and control, it's not about who you are sexually attracted to. Lots of animals in nature work the same way. Male Lions will engage in homosexual behaviours to assert dominance, many primate species engage in homosexual behaviour with one another to resolve conflict within the group, and some do it purely because they enjoy it (female bonobos are known to pick female sex partners during mating season over male ones). The point is homosexuality and bisexuality, and everything in between, is seen throughout the animal kingdom in all walks of life for many reasons, and humans are no different. Sex and sexual behaviours can be used as purely just an act (as we can see in both animal and human behaviour) therefore sexuality is fluid and ranges on a whole spectrum of ideas - sexuality isn't always just about who you're attracted to, it's how you use and think about sex itself as well.

Hope that makes sense and opens up your ideas about sexual fluidity

Reply 28

Original post by FrancescaC2000

That's fine if that's how you identify your sexuality, but for most people sexuality isn't just 'gay or straight af'. Sexual behaviour is used for multiple reasons. For example (bleakly) rape isn't about sex or sexual attraction, rape is about power and control, it's not about who you are sexually attracted to. Lots of animals in nature work the same way. Male Lions will engage in homosexual behaviours to assert dominance, many primate species engage in homosexual behaviour with one another to resolve conflict within the group, and some do it purely because they enjoy it (female bonobos are known to pick female sex partners during mating season over male ones). The point is homosexuality and bisexuality, and everything in between, is seen throughout the animal kingdom in all walks of life for many reasons, and humans are no different. Sex and sexual behaviours can be used as purely just an act (as we can see in both animal and human behaviour) therefore sexuality is fluid and ranges on a whole spectrum of ideas - sexuality isn't always just about who you're attracted to, it's how you use and think about sex itself as well.

Hope that makes sense and opens up your ideas about sexual fluidity

No. Its just more confusing!

Reply 29

Original post by mgi

No. Its just more confusing!

Really? What are you finding confusing?

Reply 30

Original post by mgi

No. Its just more confusing!

My thoughts were, (without judging anyone, ): 3 types of people- gay, heterosexual and bisexual. The other names people use mainly just seem like descriptions of feelings rather than who they actually are born as; ie they are gay or straight or bisexual. Is that not right? If not , why not?

Reply 31

Pandagirlx

Original post by Bruinsgirl40

Don't put a label on it, that will just stress you out further and make you question everything you do. If you think you like her then enjoy that, don't put pressure on yourself to fit into a certain category.

If you are a lesbian - GREAT.
If you are bisexual - GREAT
If you are Straight - GREAT

The same goes for all the other options like Pansexual etc.

Enjoy life :smile:

whats pansexual

Reply 32

Original post by Roseyr1119-20

whats pansexual

a choice of how you want to react to your sexuality ? People are not born as pansexual are they? i thought it was a choice of a sexual life style?

Reply 33

Original post by Roseyr1119-20

whats pansexual

It's a romantic attraction towards people regardless of their sex / gender identity

Reply 34

OP

..

Reply 35

username5208544

9

People who look outgoing and confident often aren't, believe me! I know when I first started dental nursing I was really shy and had no confidence at all dealing with patients, but I looked as though I was happy, smiley, fun and confident. Totally the opposite of how I felt.
Anyway, what I meant by "leave a door open"; it's like I said, send a message, something like "I'm so bored, if you are too feel free to send me a message" or something like that. At least it keep communication going and gives her an opening to write back. She could by lying on her bed wondering whether it would be a good idea to write to you first, but she may not know what to say or how to start a conversation.

Reply 36

OP

..

Reply 37

Anonymous #2

Original post by Deborah_C

Will you see her tomorrow? Try to bump into her and "oh hi, look if you get bored give me a shout" and give her your number.
As for being a lesbian, I don't think it's always necessary to label things. I knew a girl once who was in a relationship with another girl, they lived together, but she always said she wasn't a lesbian, she just loved the other girl.

Labels exist for a reason. The girl you knew was a lesbian.

Reply 38