What do I do I don't think I'm lesbian but...

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Anonymous #1
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Soo there's this girl in school who's literally perfect in so many ways and whenever I'm speaking with her I tend to blush way too much... I was hoping someone could clarify things for me because I really don't think I'm lesbian that'd be wierd but idk why I'm blushing so bloody much... Is it just intimidation? Also is blushing contagious? Because she also seems to be blushing alot of the time when we're talking and I was just wondering if it's cause I'm being really awkward and making her uncomfortable or if it's just like yawning or something... These things are kind of foreign to me so I need some help
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Lexi_jn
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Soo there's this girl in school who's literally perfect in so many ways and whenever I'm speaking with her I tend to blush way too much... I was hoping someone could clarify things for me because I really don't think I'm lesbian that'd be wierd but idk why I'm blushing so bloody much... Is it just intimidation? Also is blushing contagious? Because she also seems to be blushing alot of the time when we're talking and I was just wondering if it's cause I'm being really awkward and making her uncomfortable or if it's just like yawning or something... These things are kind of foreign to me so I need some help
Well, I didn't know much but you should follow your heart no matter what. For me, people don't blush just because of anything. If you like her then it's okay to be different. Did your heart beats fast when you see her? Do you tend to know simple things she does and remember unnecessary things about her? Having butterflies in your stomach when you imagine ur with her or when ur together? If it's yes to all these questions then it means you like her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Lexi_jn)
Well, I didn't know much but you should follow your heart no matter what. For me, people don't blush just because of anything. If you like her then it's okay to be different. Did your heart beats fast when you see her? Do you tend to know simple things she does and remember unnecessary things about her? Having butterflies in your stomach when you imagine ur with her or when ur together? If it's yes to all these questions then it means you like her.
I really don't think I do, I mean I can't, I'm not lesbian, plus she'd never like me anyway so...
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really don't think I do, I mean I can't, I'm not lesbian, plus she'd never like me anyway so...
How do you know you are not a lesbian? And how do you know that she does not like you? Do you talk to her?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
How do you know you are not a lesbian? And how do you know that she does not like you? Do you talk to her?
I feel like she doesn't like me because she only ever talks to me really in lesson but outside of lesson I'm invisible, plus today she walked into the hall and sat with a group of other girls rather than talking to me, so I feel like she just wants to avoid me so I also in turn don't talk to her because I don't want to annoy her and now we're not going to see each other for idek how long and I feel stupid for not just saying hi and now I can't do anything about it.
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Deborah_C
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(Original post by Anonymous)
...and now we're not going to see each other for idek how long and I feel stupid for not just saying hi and now I can't do anything about it.
Will you see her tomorrow? Try to bump into her and "oh hi, look if you get bored give me a shout" and give her your number.
As for being a lesbian, I don't think it's always necessary to label things. I knew a girl once who was in a relationship with another girl, they lived together, but she always said she wasn't a lesbian, she just loved the other girl.
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FrancescaC2000
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really don't think I do, I mean I can't, I'm not lesbian, plus she'd never like me anyway so...
Sexuality is fluid. It can change and evolve all the time and is on a whole wide spectrum. There isn't just bi, gay, straight, pan. You can be a combination all over. Sometimes sex is purely physical, sometimes it's purely emotional. Relationships work the same in this way. If you do like her / are attracted to her, that doesn't mean you're a lesbian (but even if it did who cares?) because there are no strict and plain answers to sexuality.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Deborah_C)
Will you see her tomorrow? Try to bump into her and "oh hi, look if you get bored give me a shout" and give her your number.
I don't think I'll see her tomorrow because she might not come in, most people aren't going to school cause they're anyways closing after tomorrow.... Also I have her number but that's because we're in the same class and it kind of just happened, we basically only text if it's something about classwork so I don't even think she considers us friends and I don't want to ask because Ii just don't want to seem wierd to her, I mean I'm already a wierd enough person I just don't want to make things even worse. But this means I'll never have the guts to talk to her without her saying hi first and it's super annoying, I hate being controlled by my emotions but I'm never able to say hi first cause I feel like she doesn't want to talk to me idk.
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Deborah_C
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How do you know she isn't thinking exactly the same thing as you, and being as shy as you? Someone has to make a move.
You don't need to text and throw your heart at her, just send a message leaving a door open, if you know what I mean.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by FrancescaC2000)
Sexuality is fluid. It can change and evolve all the time and is on a whole wide spectrum. There isn't just bi, gay, straight, pan. You can be a combination all over. Sometimes sex is purely physical, sometimes it's purely emotional. Relationships work the same in this way. If you do like her / are attracted to her, that doesn't mean you're a lesbian (but even if it did who cares?) because there are no strict and plain answers to sexuality.
Well I'm sure 95% of people I know and in school will care... It's kind of a religious Catholic school and I just can't believe I am because I can't be and this is all very confusing and I'm really starting to hate myself and plus I'm sure she'll think I'm really wierd so I can't be blatant about it and idek where I'm going with this anymore.
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FrancescaC2000
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I'm sure 95% of people I know and in school will care... It's kind of a religious Catholic school and I just can't believe I am because I can't be and this is all very confusing and I'm really starting to hate myself and plus I'm sure she'll think I'm really wierd so I can't be blatant about it and idek where I'm going with this anymore.
You will not please everyone in your life, sometimes not even your close friends and family, but at the end of the day you are the one that has to live with Yourself and the decisions you make. Don't be held back by people that don't understand / set views and judgements that don't correspond with your own.
Anyway there is no need to jump to any conclusions anyway that's the point. Just do what feels right and don't punish yourself for being who you are! Life is WAY to f***ing short
Last edited by FrancescaC2000; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by FrancescaC2000)
You will not please everyone in your life, sometimes not even your close friends and family, but at the end of the day you are the one that has to live with Yourself and the decisions you make. Don't be held back by people that don't understand / set views and judgements that don't correspond with your own.
Anyway there is no need to jump to any conclusions anyway that's the point. Just do what feels right and don't punish yourself for being who you are! Life is WAY to f***ing short
Ok thank you, but I'm still such a coward so I don't know if I'll ever be able to step up. Also, idk if she's going to be in tomorrow and I indirectly asked but I didn't get an answer so idk if I even want to go in tomorrow because it just seems pointless since we're probably not having lessons anyway and if she's not going in... Idk what to do...
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Bruinsgirl40
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Don't put a label on it, that will just stress you out further and make you question everything you do. If you think you like her then enjoy that, don't put pressure on yourself to fit into a certain category.

If you are a lesbian - GREAT.
If you are bisexual - GREAT
If you are Straight - GREAT

The same goes for all the other options like Pansexual etc.

Enjoy life
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Deezle
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Try not to put pressure on yourself (such as feeling like you have to label a feeling). Sometimes we just like who we like and sometimes it feels right and other times it may not but for now if you would like to get to know her, just start with that! I struggled with y sexuality for years but have come to the conclusion that I fall in love with a person, not their sexual identity. It may be that you admire her and nothing else, it may be more but until you form some connection you wont know. As far as blushing is concerned (I hate it when I blush btw...it makes me feel vulnerable) she may not notice it at all. If you are putting pressure on yourself to feel or not feel something the likelihood is that you will blush more. Be confident in just saying hi every now and then and see if anything comes of it.
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FrancescaC2000
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok thank you, but I'm still such a coward so I don't know if I'll ever be able to step up. Also, idk if she's going to be in tomorrow and I indirectly asked but I didn't get an answer so idk if I even want to go in tomorrow because it just seems pointless since we're probably not having lessons anyway and if she's not going in... Idk what to do...
Development takes time. I hope one day you will be confident enough to be who you are and TOTALLY unashamed of it. You deserve to be unquestionably happy. That is what everyone deserves in life. To be totally and undeniably in love with themselves no matter what. Nothing else is real or matters apart from love and loving those around us. In this backwards world built on a concept of establishment that someone once made up, the only real thing is us, who we are, who we love and the beauty around us, that's it. Appreciate every moment you have and try your best not to worry about preconceived judgement because in the end, it didn't even exist, all it did was hold you back from all you could be.

Now I've said all the soppy stuff - just because you only text about work stuff, doesn't mean you can't message her not about classwork. With all the chaos now might be a perfect time to do so. Just check in, make sure her and her family are healthy and well - talk about the exam stuff and the fact schools are closed, that lockdown is imminent haha - you have lots in common that you could pop up to her about which I think you should do. What is the worst that could happen?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by FrancescaC2000)
Now I've said all the soppy stuff - just because you only text about work stuff, doesn't mean you can't message her not about classwork. With all the chaos now might be a perfect time to do so. Just check in, make sure her and her family are healthy and well - talk about the exam stuff and the fact schools are closed, that lockdown is imminent haha - you have lots in common that you could pop up to her about which I think you should do. What is the worst that could happen?
Many things actually, she might think I'm super duper bloody wierd, plus she might feel uncomfortable because I am rarely ever able to say hi to her irl, I only ever am able to talk to her when she initiates conversations otherwise I get really overwhelmed and overthink and don't say anything to her... By now she probably has gotten the feeling that I don't like her since I rarely ever speak to her first but how far that is from the truth omg. Also, unlike her, I've really only got like 2 friends in school, but she's got multiple so I doubt she'd be wanting to text me anyways since she's got so many friends and I just don't want to seem strange because I know for a fact I will seem strange because like aghgfhe
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like she doesn't like me because she only ever talks to me really in lesson but outside of lesson I'm invisible, plus today she walked into the hall and sat with a group of other girls rather than talking to me, so I feel like she just wants to avoid me so I also in turn don't talk to her because I don't want to annoy her and now we're not going to see each other for idek how long and I feel stupid for not just saying hi and now I can't do anything about it.
Yes, you can .You can still say hi! And how are you "invisible " after the lessons? Does this mean ,actually, that you were scared to arrange to meet up outside of lessons? It's really about having confidence in yourself! It is not about how she may or may not respond! That is her problem. Suppose she is overthinking everything ,just like you? Then you both miss out on a potential relationship? And ,yes you may be a lesbian ,- so what? you like girls,fine. Overthinking things is useless.
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FrancescaC2000
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Many things actually, she might think I'm super duper bloody wierd, plus she might feel uncomfortable because I am rarely ever able to say hi to her irl, I only ever am able to talk to her when she initiates conversations otherwise I get really overwhelmed and overthink and don't say anything to her... By now she probably has gotten the feeling that I don't like her since I rarely ever speak to her first but how far that is from the truth omg. Also, unlike her, I've really only got like 2 friends in school, but she's got multiple so I doubt she'd be wanting to text me anyways since she's got so many friends and I just don't want to seem strange because I know for a fact I will seem strange because like aghgfhe
It seems like you’re making excuses because you lack self confidence. You should text her 100%. Have more faith in yourself and the person you are! You know you both get on or you wouldn’t have had conversations before so have confidence in that! If she thinks your weird for asking how she is or just saying hi, then she’s not a great person and she doesn’t deserve YOUR friendship. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have vs how many she has, that’s all trivial stuff that really doesn’t even contribute to a friendship at all. I have friends that go out every weekend and have hundreds of friends, I also have friends that have me and one other friend and they like to stay in and watch movies every weekend. What matters is your relationship and how you make eachother feel and how you treat eachother, not stupid stuff like that.
Last edited by FrancescaC2000; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by FrancescaC2000)
It seems like you’re making excuses because you lack self confidence. You should text her 100%. Have more faith in yourself and the person you are! .
I feel like I did something reeaally stupid just now... So like I was able to text her (at 5am but still) then I freaked out and deleted the text and now it's probably super wierd to message her again and I doubt she really cares cause I genuinely don't think she's going to message me back... Even if it's just to ask why I deleted the message... But then again idk... Anyways, I don't want to text her again cause now it's definitely going to seem strange probably.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
Yes, you can .You can still say hi! And how are you "invisible " after the lessons? Does this mean ,actually, that you were scared to arrange to meet up outside of lessons? It's really about having confidence in yourself! It is not about how she may or may not respond! That is her problem. Suppose she is overthinking everything ,just like you? Then you both miss out on a potential relationship?
Right now idk, Idt I'm lesbian I think I'm just confused... Also, I kind of make myself invisible to people outside of lessons because I never know how to start conversations even when I do know it takes alot I mean ALOT of myself to actually start the conversations... Even a "hi" is stressful... Plus she's always with her friends after lesson so I don't really have anywhere to fit into...
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