I’m white dating an Asian man and I can’t help but fear that his parents won’t accept

I’m afraid it’ll affect the longevity of our relationship in reality... which makes me sad because I really care about him. But he’s even told me his parents want him to marry a Taiwanese girl but aren’t as opposed to white as other races. It’s so sad :frown:

I don’t even know how to talk to him about this and also if we should just end things now before this becomes an issue anyways.

Reply 1

fallen_acorns

20

Original post by Anonymous

I’m afraid it’ll affect the longevity of our relationship in reality... which makes me sad because I really care about him. But he’s even told me his parents want him to marry a Taiwanese girl but aren’t as opposed to white as other races. It’s so sad :frown:

I don’t even know how to talk to him about this and also if we should just end things now before this becomes an issue anyways.

(Massive generalizations incoming...)

are you rich or well off? that usually helps with some Asian parents.

Mainly though, their problems won't be majority racial, they will be cultural things that they find important that they have attached to race. The solution is that if you can show a lot of respect for their culture/traditions/norms/family dynamic etc.. then you'll be fine with them in the end. That's my experience with east asian parents at least.

A good start if they are very typical east Asian parents, is when you first meet them, makes sure you help out a lot around the place, and downplay your socializing/drinking/partying, and mention wanting kids in the future..

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I’m afraid it’ll affect the longevity of our relationship in reality... which makes me sad because I really care about him. But he’s even told me his parents want him to marry a Taiwanese girl but aren’t as opposed to white as other races. It’s so sad :frown:

I don’t even know how to talk to him about this and also if we should just end things now before this becomes an issue anyways.

Hey I am an ethnic Chinese (but not from China or Taiwan) and to be honest I dont think my parents would allow me to marry anyone outside of my race and anyone outside of my nationality too. Even if they allow it to be honest I think I would feel a little guilty myself if I married someone outside of my own race because I am 100% pure ethnic Han Chinese so I really dont know how to face my ancestors when I am dead and tell them that I married someone outside of my race. But with that being said I find white girls attractive too so could be hard sometimes. But the thing is Western culture is so different from the East that sometimes I dont even know if it is worth it because in my opinion cultural differences are impossible to be solved so that is one of the reasons why I am slightly hesitant to date white girls.

Since we have touched upon this issue already, do you find cultural barriers an obstacle (apart from his parents issue)? And how did you overcome them?

Reply 3

fallen_acorns

20

Original post by Anonymous

Hey I am an ethnic Chinese (but not from China or Taiwan) and to be honest I dont think my parents would allow me to marry anyone outside of my race and anyone outside of my nationality too. Even if they allow it to be honest I think I would feel a little guilty myself if I married someone outside of my own race because I am 100% pure ethnic Han Chinese so I really dont know how to face my ancestors when I am dead and tell them that I married someone outside of my race. But with that being said I find white girls attractive too so could be hard sometimes. But the thing is Western culture is so different from the East that sometimes I dont even know if it is worth it because in my opinion cultural differences are impossible to be solved so that is one of the reasons why I am slightly hesitant to date white girls.

Since we have touched upon this issue already, do you find cultural barriers an obstacle (apart from his parents issue)? And how did you overcome them?

I'm sure your ancestors won't be that heartbroken... its not exactly like were running out of Han...

(Also any geneticist would laugh at the idea of '100% pure han' - it doesn't exist. Almost all han today, and I only say 'almost' because I can't prove it, are a combination of various ethnic sources.. just in the same way that all other ethnicities are.. ethnic/racial purity is a nonsense that can lead to dangerous things)

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by fallen_acorns

I'm sure your ancestors won't be that heartbroken... its not exactly like were running out of Han...

(Also any geneticist would laugh at the idea of '100% pure han' - it doesn't exist. Almost all han today, and I only say 'almost' because I can't prove it, are a combination of various ethnic sources.. just in the same way that all other ethnicities are.. ethnic/racial purity is a nonsense that can lead to dangerous things)

Who gives a **** what geneticists think? Are they your daddy or something?

Reply 5

Rabbit2

18

I think you would be better off looking elsewhere for companionship. An associate of mine married a Greek gal, and they eventually produced two kids. Eventually, even though he learned Greek [and was fairly fluent i was told], and tried to adopt their culture, the fact that he "wasn't Greek enough" - caused a divorce. Her relatives wouldn't accept that he was a white american, even though he spoke quite a bit of Greek & attempted to "fit in" he told me. Best of luck!!