I wish I could forget her

This is probably a pointless post except for the fact that I feel the need to talk about her today, randomly. I've only been in love once - I know this to be true, and whilst I've dated regularly and had a few relationships since her, today she's all I can think about. She was - I don't know - she was everything to me. I felt so lucky to have her in my life. I'm considered very smart but she was just on another level and I loved it. We also had very different yet difficult upbringings which we bonded over and I helped her with. She was absolutely gorgeous and god she made me laugh, like no one can.

But we were long distance by a few hours drive. We were arranging to meet up again for a week in a cabin I'd booked when she suddenly ghosted me, she got excited about a call and hung up on me and I didn't hear from her again for months and we were intense with each other, really intense.

Instead I pieced things together, the person who'd called had been this guy she had a crush on at her university and she'd started dating him. Well you can imagine the pain that left me in given we were in a relationship and she knew I loved her. I moved on as best I could then she contacted me again a few months later, like nothing had happened.

"Sorry I stopped talking. How are you?"

I said the only words I could and then hung up.

"Don't ever contact me again." The hardest words I've ever said.

As much as I wish she would reach out to me again sometimes, I know I could never let her back into my heart. I guess I'm just thinking about her today because I miss "it" whatever that it was. The way she made me feel when I made her laugh, perhaps.

I'm not looking for comfort or advice, I just felt like I needed to share my pain somewhere in the cosmos other than just inside me. Eight months later and I wish I could forget her, and yet nothing could be further from the truth.

I am awfully sorry, some girls are like this but to be honest at one point you will forget about her. Surround yourself with positive people, focus on your achievements and goals and you will soon realize that she didn't matter as much as you think now. I know it has been ages and she will come back whenever she gets the opportunity but when you told her to not contact you it was one of the best things you could have done for yourself.
One day, another girl much more deserving will get your heart and I know it is quite difficult to take her off your mind but just remember what she did to you, remember you do not need a girlfriend and remember your worth.
She may be amazing, but her personality will never change, wanting her will result in no gain for you. Whatever you had with her didn't matter as much as it mattered to you and it is a bit hard to hear but she didn't love you as well as she may have proved.
Be patient the right girl will come by, and thinking about the past is just not it. The past is past no need to re-live the bad moments.
I am so sorry she did this to you, and you seem like a great person deserving of a lot more. I hope you feel better and you move on from her, and find someone even better. xxx