Why don't people like polyamory?

I never understood why most people are so fixated on having just one partner and they're so worried about getting cheated on. I hate commitment and surely it's better if you're with more girls with no commitment imo. If you're fully committed to one, you gotta deal with all her bs and it's just jarring but if you have more then you don't have to deal with all that as you're not as emotionally involved and it's more fun. If you're less emotionally involved, that's less stress for you and you're less likely to get hurt. What do you think about polyamory?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

i would want a guy who has other girls because if im with this guy i want him to love me for me but if he has other girls then he clearly loves them more.plus how are you supposed to start a family if hes with other girls to? most girls want to start a family one day so we need a guy whos with just them so the kids have their dad around and a dad/bf thats supportive

Reply 2

jas149

16

Polyamory is something that I will never fully understand. Especially when some would say that they love their partner but they wouldn't mind having sex with someone else. I don't get that. How can you claim to love someone and be willing to do something so intimate with someone else? I've always been a "one man at a time" kind of woman. However, I'll never judge them for it. As long as both partners agree that their significant other can sleep with whomever they like, then that's fine. Plus the example you've given doesn't sound like a polyamorous relationship. It sounds more like casual hook-ups. Polyamorous relationships still require a commitment but just with multiple people

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 3

shooonthebeat

OP

21

Original post by Anonymous

i would want a guy who has other girls because if im with this guy i want him to love me for me but if he has other girls then he clearly loves them more.plus how are you supposed to start a family if hes with other girls to? most girls want to start a family one day so we need a guy whos with just them so the kids have their dad around and a dad/bf thats supportive

He can still love you even if he has others, just because he has others it doesn't necessarily mean that he loves them more. Good point about family, I see where you coming from. I guess it would be harder to have a family in a polyamorous relationship.

Reply 4

shooonthebeat

OP

21

Does it really matter if you're doing the same? You can both have multiple partners and polyamory isn't just about the sex.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by shooonthebeat

He can still love you even if he has others, just because he has others it doesn't necessarily mean that he loves them more. Good point about family, I see where you coming from. I guess it would be harder to have a family in a polyamorous relationship.

how do you know.ypu cant know if he loves one girl more then the other because your relationship wont be as strong.in a relationship one thing i personally look for is someone who is loyal and reliable.how can he be loyal if hes ****ing around with other girls? how can he be reliable when hes with these other girls? its not practical in the long run.sure short time relationship it could work but not a long term.

Original post by jas149

Polyamory is something that I will never fully understand. Especially when some would say that they love their partner but they wouldn't mind having sex with someone else. I don't get that. How can you claim to love someone and be willing to do something so intimate with someone else? I've always been a "one man at a time" kind of woman. However, I'll never judge them for it. As long as both partners agree that their significant other can sleep with whomever they like, then that's fine. Plus the example you've given doesn't sound like a polyamorous relationship. It sounds more like casual hook-ups. Polyamorous relationships still require a commitment but just with multiple people

In my mind, it isn't that complicated: some people don't view sex as intimately as you describe.

Reply 7

shooonthebeat

OP

21

Original post by jas149

Polyamory is something that I will never fully understand. Especially when some would say that they love their partner but they wouldn't mind having sex with someone else. I don't get that. How can you claim to love someone and be willing to do something so intimate with someone else? I've always been a "one man at a time" kind of woman. However, I'll never judge them for it. As long as both partners agree that their significant other can sleep with whomever they like, then that's fine. Plus the example you've given doesn't sound like a polyamorous relationship. It sounds more like casual hook-ups. Polyamorous relationships still require a commitment but just with multiple people

Ah okay I think you might be right about that last part. Some people just have a very high sex drive so one partner may not be enough for them. Also I believe you can love and be intimate with more than one person at the same time.

Reply 8

shooonthebeat

OP

21

Original post by Anonymous

how do you know.ypu cant know if he loves one girl more then the other because your relationship wont be as strong.in a relationship one thing i personally look for is someone who is loyal and reliable.how can he be loyal if hes ****ing around with other girls? how can he be reliable when hes with these other girls? its not practical in the long run.sure short time relationship it could work but not a long term.

It's still loyal because he's not doing it behind your back, he's straight up telling you that he has others and he's okay with you having others too. There's not really a way to tell if he loves others more because you can't really measure love but as long as everyone is happy does it really matter? Also I think it could actually work long term because with more partners you're all supporting each other (financially, emotionally etc.) which makes things easier than having to deal with everything with only 2 people.

I would only ever do polyamory in the sense of "swinging" together, ie. hooking up with other people or couples as a couple. I don't think it'd work for me otherwise.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

I honestly would never be in a polyamorous relationship, not because I think that it is bad or anything, it's because I would feel insecure if my significant other was with other people. It would also make me feel like I am not enough for them.

Reply 11

StriderHort

21

If you're so scared of commitment then there's no one to put up with your BS when you really need it. FWBs tend to melt into the background when life gets tough.

Reply 12

shooonthebeat

OP

21

Original post by Anonymous

I honestly would never be in a polyamorous relationship, not because I think that it is bad or anything, it's because I would feel insecure if my significant other was with other people. It would also make me feel like I am not enough for them.

Understandable, I can see why you might feel like that but that may not necessarily be the case. If your partner has others that doesn't really mean that you're not enough for them, polyamorous people just prefer to have multiple partners. Also if it makes you feel bad that your partner is with others then you can be with others too. I understand that polyamory isn't for everyone though so I respect your choices.

Reply 13

Theloniouss

Universities Forum Helper

21

If you want that, good for you. Personally, I want commitment from a relationship and I'm not entirely convinced that humans actually want polyamory.

Reply 14

shooonthebeat

OP

21

Original post by Theloniouss

If you want that, good for you. Personally, I want commitment from a relationship and I'm not entirely convinced that humans actually want polyamory.

Tbh you can have committed polyamorous relationships and I personally believe that could work better than monogamous as you have more people all supporting each other together.

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

It's more of a way to shame guys to get them to commit to one girl

Original post by Theloniouss

If you want that, good for you. Personally, I want commitment from a relationship and I'm not entirely convinced that humans actually want polyamory.

You would be surprised. It seems very common in some communities. In a way, monogamy is the thing that's contrived. That said, society isn't really set up for polyamory.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 17

Anonymusy

18

I don't get open relationships/marriages. Like if you can't commit to one person then why get into a relationship or get married at all? Stay single and sleep with or be with as many people as you want at the same time with no strings attached then no one will get hurt as long as all the people are ok with it.

Reply 18

shooonthebeat

OP

21

Original post by Anonymusy

I don't get open relationships/marriages. Like if you can't commit to one person then why get into a relationship or get married at all? Stay single and sleep with or be with as many people as you want at the same time with no strings attached then no one will get hurt as long as all the people are ok with it.