The Student Room Group

Asking a girl if she’s liked you in the past

Is it ok to ask a girl if she has liked you in the past if she rejects you? And you were pretty convinced she used to like you.

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Why would you ask that if she’s already rejected you?
Reply 2
Original post by GabiAbi84
Why would you ask that if she’s already rejected you?

To see if I was right or if i misread her.
Original post by Anonymous
To see if I was right or if i misread her.


Then no, I wouldn’t be asking her that “to see if you were right”
She might lie and say yes to save your feelings
Reply 5
Original post by Asha_m
She might lie and say yes to save your feelings

I don’t Want her to save my feelings. That doesn’t help me. I want the honest truth.
Reply 6
Original post by GabiAbi84
Then no, I wouldn’t be asking her that “to see if you were right”

Why not?
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t Want her to save my feelings. That doesn’t help me. I want the honest truth.

She'll probably say yes, and you'll never know for certain
Original post by Anonymous
Why not?


Because you’re putting her in an awkward spot and she doesn’t owe you anything. Proving to yourself that you were “right” shouldn’t come at the expense of others. Plus it won’t make a difference anyways-she has rejected you now so it is a moot point.
Reply 9
Original post by GabiAbi84
Because you’re putting her in an awkward spot and she doesn’t owe you anything. Proving to yourself that you were “right” shouldn’t come at the expense of others. Plus it won’t make a difference anyways-she has rejected you now so it is a moot point.

I didn’t say she owes me anything. I still have a right to ask. And she has a right to not answer if she doesn’t want to.
No reason for her to be honest, if it's a girl you see often then it'd just make it way more awkward than it already is, if it's someone who you don't see often they don't even have to reply

Better not waste anymore of your time. You can of course, just good luck with that :h:
Original post by Anonymous
I didn’t say she owes me anything. I still have a right to ask. And she has a right to not answer if she doesn’t want to.


Of course you have a “right” to ask- but you asked whether it was ok to ask. It isn’t. You’re trying to make yourself feel better by making her either lie to you or embarrass herself by admitting feelings.
For nothing except your own ego.

Why did you ask the question if you were just going to argue with everyone who told you it was not okay to ask??
Original post by GabiAbi84
Of course you have a “right” to ask- but you asked whether it was ok to ask. It isn’t. You’re trying to make yourself feel better by making her either lie to you or embarrass herself by admitting feelings.
For nothing except your own ego.

Why did you ask the question if you were just going to argue with everyone who told you it was not okay to ask??

No it’s not for my ego. It’s to see whether I read her right or misread her. Why is everything taken so negatively on this site by some people.
Original post by GabiAbi84
Of course you have a “right” to ask- but you asked whether it was ok to ask. It isn’t. You’re trying to make yourself feel better by making her either lie to you or embarrass herself by admitting feelings.
For nothing except your own ego.

Why did you ask the question if you were just going to argue with everyone who told you it was not okay to ask??

On your second question because I got rejected by a friend which is her right to do so obviously but I feel frustrated by the fact that I’m not allowed to say how I feel about the whole situation to her.
I wouldn't bother, chances are that she's not going to tell the truth. Leave the past in the past, I know you're curious, but there's no point either.
Original post by urlocalinmate
I wouldn't bother, chances are that she's not going to tell the truth. Leave the past in the past, I know you're curious, but there's no point either.

More frustrated than curious because of how stupidly emotionally invested I became in her. I wish I could just say how I feel about the situation to her even if it ends the friendship.
Original post by Anonymous
More frustrated than curious because of how stupidly emotionally invested I became in her. I wish I could just say how I feel about the situation to her even if it ends the friendship.

Do it then, it'll clear everything up I guess.
Original post by urlocalinmate
Do it then, it'll clear everything up I guess.

I guess in a way I’m too scared to.
Original post by Anonymous
On your second question because I got rejected by a friend which is her right to do so obviously but I feel frustrated by the fact that I’m not allowed to say how I feel about the whole situation to her.


You are allowed to say how you feel-you did. You asked her out. She said no.
Anything else is just your hurt feelings of rejection.
Honestly what answer that she gives you will help you feel better about that?

She says yes, she used to like you. Truth
-you then start to wonder why she stopped and agonising over “if only” you’d asked her sooner. And you think that there’s still a chance so you keep hanging on.

She says yes, she used to like you. Lying.
Same as above but now your friend has been pretty much forced to lie to you as you wouldn’t let it go. It will come out at some point.

She says no, she never liked you. Truth
You get rejected all over again, you wonder what it is about you that means she never liked you. She feels bad that she’s hurt you again.

She says no, she never liked you, lying.
Same as above but now again you’ve made her lie to you about her feelings for no reason other than you haven’t accepted her rejection.

It’s a no win situation.
Yes it hurts that she’s rejected you but asking more into it will not help either of you.
Original post by GabiAbi84
You are allowed to say how you feel-you did. You asked her out. She said no.
Anything else is just your hurt feelings of rejection.
Honestly what answer that she gives you will help you feel better about that?

She says yes, she used to like you. Truth
-you then start to wonder why she stopped and agonising over “if only” you’d asked her sooner. And you think that there’s still a chance so you keep hanging on.

She says yes, she used to like you. Lying.
Same as above but now your friend has been pretty much forced to lie to you as you wouldn’t let it go. It will come out at some point.

She says no, she never liked you. Truth
You get rejected all over again, you wonder what it is about you that means she never liked you. She feels bad that she’s hurt you again.

She says no, she never liked you, lying.
Same as above but now again you’ve made her lie to you about her feelings for no reason other than you haven’t accepted her rejection.

It’s a no win situation.
Yes it hurts that she’s rejected you but asking more into it will not help either of you.

I think talking about it with her will help me to move on even if it ends the friendship. I’ve tried not saying anything for months and it makes me feel worse.

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