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why does every guy do this to me? so annoyed Watch

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    (Original post by Ultimate1)
    This. I don't get how the OP can fall for those white knights. That's why she isn't initially attracted to them, don't know why she gets attracted once they move on. Probably because of the thrill of chasing something you can't get.
    Maybe because they're acting interested in her and paying her a lot of attention? :rolleyes: It says a couple of times that she is interested in guys who seem interested in her. It doesn't say she's only attracted to them after they don't want her.

    Guys who are nice > alpha male macho bull****.
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    (Original post by snapper1)
    Trouble is if you text even slightly flirty things like "wish you were here" etc, after one date, then it kind of sounds like you're after some quick romance and a guy probably would expect you to 'put out' quickly and give up when you don't.

    Ignore the friend zoning crap, because its just people who can't get laid because they're not their type or whatever, so look for excuses in the form of 'friend zoning'. What you need is to befriend guys and see if something materialises as you'll know it'll be meaningful and that he'll be prepared to wait because you'll mean something to him too. My first boyfriend waited 2 years before I felt ready to lose my virginity, and he never pushed me once. Me and all my friends are with guys we were friends with first, so good luck
    Thats the problem. Me and this guy have been friends a while and the attraction is clearly there for both of us. We havent even been on 'dates' because we are friends. But the texting like ''wish you were here'' etc is confusing when he then says he doesnt want a relationship.

    I never just date guys, I have to be their friend to even consider being in a relationship with them tbh.
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    (Original post by spanish_sahara)
    Why do women have to change themselves to get a boyfriend? Surely if someone really has the potential to love you then they will love you for yourself - not for some fake personality or polished appearance that isn't natural for you. You want a meaningful relationship? Don't change yourself and be patient and wait for the right person to come along. Then they'll accept you.


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    Why does people on TSR always say this? It's probably one of the biggest reasons so many on here can't find anyone.
    People develop, grow and become different people. The attitude that you are fully formed at 18 and "shouldn't change for anyone" is ridiculous. It's defensive and lazy. Would you tell a person with bad hygiene to "not change"? Would you say that to a man who treats women badly? Or a girl who is boring, a plain ***** or slutty?
    Most people can look better than they do, they can also become more knowledgeable, outgoing, generous, helpful and interesting.

    We don't know the OP, but she obviously does something wrong. If she doesn't learn how to change, pick better men and improve herself, then no, she might not meet anyone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thats the problem. Me and this guy have been friends a while and the attraction is clearly there for both of us. We havent even been on 'dates' because we are friends. But the texting like ''wish you were here'' etc is confusing when he then says he doesnt want a relationship.

    I never just date guys, I have to be their friend to even consider being in a relationship with them tbh.
    Maybe he just doesn't want the responsibility of a relationship, he may just enjoy flirting and having a bit of fun without any of the seriousness.
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    (Original post by Ultimate1)
    This. I don't get how the OP can fall for those white knights. That's why she isn't initially attracted to them, don't know why she gets attracted once they move on. Probably because of the thrill of chasing something you can't get.
    Who said that?

    I hang out with them, we are friends. Then they express their interest. Im not interested. They keep pursuing. I then start getting interested. I start to fall. Then they pull it all away

    Tbh this has only happened twice.

    But what I mean is guys never seem to want relationships with me generally (which if you read previously, I am not looking for a relationship, but I dont understand why guys dont want 1 with me and always see me as just a sex thing) if any of that makes sense lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Who said that?

    I hang out with them, we are friends. Then they express their interest. Im not interested. They keep pursuing. I then start getting interested. I start to fall. Then they pull it all away

    Tbh this has only happened twice.

    But what I mean is guys never seem to want relationships with me generally (which if you read previously, I am not looking for a relationship, but I dont understand why guys dont want 1 with me and always see me as just a sex thing) if any of that makes sense lol
    Because a lot of young lads do not want a serious relationship, that is not hard to understand.
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    (Original post by McFlury)
    Because a lot of young lads do not want a serious relationship, that is not hard to understand.
    I feel like Im going round in circles :P

    No that is completely easy to understand.

    I guess Im ranting because i feel unlucky.

    This guy has always been in a relationship with someone, then when it comes to me- we get on so well, and he clearly really fancies me but he suddenley wants 'single time' Which is fine, obviously.

    I just feel annoyed at the situation because I always feel like its me that loses out. He spent all this time in relationships, now we both like each other, but clearly not enough to be together.

    I guess I just feel like Im always at the wrong time in what they are searching for. (By 'they' I mean the 2 guys that did this, as generally im not interested in relationships)
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    Maybe because they're acting interested in her and paying her a lot of attention? :rolleyes: It says a couple of times that she is interested in guys who seem interested in her. It doesn't say she's only attracted to them after they don't want her.

    Guys who are nice > alpha male macho bull****.
    Say what you want but the anectodal evidence is clear to see;

    Alpha ****s, beta bucks.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like Im going round in circles :P

    No that is completely easy to understand.

    I guess Im ranting because i feel unlucky.

    This guy has always been in a relationship with someone, then when it comes to me- we get on so well, and he clearly really fancies me but he suddenley wants 'single time' Which is fine, obviously.

    I just feel annoyed at the situation because I always feel like its me that loses out. He spent all this time in relationships, now we both like each other, but clearly not enough to be together.

    I guess I just feel like Im always at the wrong time in what they are searching for. (By 'they' I mean the 2 guys that did this, as generally im not interested in relationships)
    if you're good friends, maybe he doesn't want to ruin that.
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    (Original post by Classical Liberal)
    Because you might be a miserable ****.
    Changing your personality to attract the opposite sex is just desperate and sad.

    If you are a miserable **** there is nothing wrong with that, just go out with another miserable ****. Certainly worked for a friend of mine.

    It is more important to accept yourself , know where your flaws lie and find someone compatible with who you actually are. You are the sort of person that misguidedly advised to me to try and be more feminine and quiet and oh god did that cause some disastrous relationships.
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    This is karma for women always doing this to men
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    (Original post by spanish_sahara)
    Why do women have to change themselves to get a boyfriend? Surely if someone really has the potential to love you then they will love you for yourself - not for some fake personality or polished appearance that isn't natural for you. You want a meaningful relationship? Don't change yourself and be patient and wait for the right person to come along. Then they'll accept you.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Being more feminine doesn't necessitate completely changing ones personality or oneself. Neither is there anything to be worshiped or respected about acting "naturally".

    Most humans have a natural state that is locked in conservation and self preservation due to evolution. i.e. most people, if left to their own devices without any sort of ultimatum or consequences and if allowed to be completely "natural" would become lazy, boring and generic (and probably depressed). There is absolutely nothing wrong with seizing the initiative - "today I will go to the gym", "today I will try to be more polite", "today I will not slouch", "today I will make an effort to be happier and smile more", "today I will eat more healthy", "today I will try to improve myself and become something I am happier with".

    Your logic is ridiculous if you think that people should just be extremely defiant, simple and stick to what is natural to them. The key to finding success is to try many different things, experiment, try harder and eventually find a state which you are happiest or most comfortable with. Chances are that it is unlikely to be your default state. So no, if something is not working then the solution is not to just keep everything the same and wait for another outcome to unveil itself. The solution is to adapt and check all possible options before reaching a conclusion or w/e.
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    Your probably just fat
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    (Original post by Classical Liberal)
    The people who say "I won't change myself" are usually massively up themselves or very lazy. Your personality is not a rigid structure, you can work on it and improve it. The people who don't are narcissistic or lazy.
    Ah, you beat me to it. All this "you shouldn't have to change for anybody" stuff is beginning to annoy me. If you hold a quality that the majority of people find unattractive (e.g. loudness) and you claim that you shouldn't change it because it's just who you are, well, good luck to you on your endeavour.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Changing your personality to attract the opposite sex is just desperate and sad.
    Improving your personality to improve your life is not desperate or sad, it is called growing up.

    It is more important to accept yourself , know where your flaws lie and find someone compatible with who you actually are. You are the sort of person that misguidedly advised to me to try and be more feminine and quiet and oh god did that cause some disastrous relationships.
    There is accepting yourself. And thinking that you deserve something for nothing. You need to accept who you are. Whether you are gay and the like. What you look like. What you like. But how you behave is flexible.
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    (Original post by Classical Liberal)
    Improving your personality to improve your life is not desperate or sad, it is called growing up.



    There is accepting yourself. And thinking that you deserve something for nothing.
    Seeing a relationship as the best way to improve your life is pretty desperate and sad in my eyes. Also misguided.

    You can be kind and nice to someone without changing yourself though, putting effort in to make someone happy does not mean changing who you are.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Seeing a relationship as the best way to improve your life is pretty desperate and sad in my eyes. Also misguided.
    Where did I say get a relationship?

    You can be kind and nice to someone without changing yourself though, putting effort in to make someone happy does not mean changing who you are.
    No, make yourself happy.
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    (Original post by Ultimate1)
    Say what you want but the anectodal evidence is clear to see;

    Alpha ****s, beta bucks.
    I do not know a single woman who is in a relationship with an "alpha". Or sleeps with them. They all find them irritating and laughable. Believe it or not, we're not dogs. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Classical Liberal)
    Where did I say get a relationship?



    No, make yourself happy.
    In your original post you said you should change your personality to get into a relationship, you then changed to 'improve your life' therefore equating improving your life with getting into a relationship.
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    I do not know a single woman who is in a relationship with an "alpha". Or sleeps with them. They all find them irritating and laughable. Believe it or not, we're not dogs. :rolleyes:
    What is the definition of an alpha? All this TSR terminology leaves me confused sometimes lol.

    My definition of alpha would relate to an alpha in the animal kingdom not some loud mouth prick.

    Anyway, OP, the guys you are hanging with sound like they do not know what they want so try not to worry about it. Confusion breeds confusion.
 
 
 
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