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    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by ETRC)
    I can guarantee you 100% she will not reject you. If she is as shy as you, it will be fine but quite awkward at the start if you do get into a relationship. And yeah, you do gain confidence as you get older.
    How can you guarantee that? He will gain confidence when hes older.... how many years does he have to wait for that?
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Considering how happy I am with myself it's fair to say I possess this 'true confidence'

    I don't need some stranger on anon telling me what I am and what I am not, thank you very much. I am the expert on myself, after all
    I dont know you but its not that if you arent shy you are confident. True confidence comes from within and your mindset about how life works really. Thats why some people are born confident and some arent. With you that might have happened along with self reassurance but if you just do public speaking for example when you are shy that wont purely work.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Mattinfenwa)
    Completely agree. Be yourself as faking it may seem okay to start but you would need to keep faking it to appear as you first came across to her. Plus I think that since she is shy too, then she may be put off by your sudden confidence, idk.

    Good luck anyway.
    Shy girls like confident people. Its a myth that shy girls dont like confidence you are a mythologist.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I really hate picking sides, but I will act as I normally do. The main logic behind this is that she must already know that I'm not very confident, however (assuming she does like me) she isn't put off by this.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I really hate picking sides, but I will act as I normally do. The main logic behind this is that she must already know that I'm not very confident, however (assuming she does like me) she isn't put off by this.
    You said you were confident around other people and just not her. She will be put off by that!! It will make her think you are acting weird around her and not being yourself. Plus she will like confidence more than your silly awkwardness. But do what you want. Seems like you dont want the girl, you will come across as awkward and weird and you wont get the girl / it wont end will for the either of you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Shy girls like confident people. Its a myth that shy girls dont like confidence you are a mythologist.
    You are standing on the 'be yourself' side of the argument, but are telling me that shy girls don't like confidence. In other words I'm screwed.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Shy girls like confident people. Its a myth that shy girls dont like confidence you are a mythologist.
    Where on Earth has your logic come from. Everyone has preferences whether it be the same as other people like you or not.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dont know you but its not that if you arent shy you are confident. True confidence comes from within and your mindset about how life works really. Thats why some people are born confident and some arent. With you that might have happened along with self reassurance but if you just do public speaking for example when you are shy that wont purely work.
    This conversation is pointless because confidence is different to each different person. You can't define confidence objectively like you can with say, the sciences, so debating on what confidence is in meaningless. Nobody is born confident, it's influenced by environmental factors such as experience and the concentrations of hormones (especially testosterone) in the blood.

    I am not a shy girl, I don't find public speaking to be particularly intimidating and I don't really understand those that do but I haven't felt that way all my life, lending support to the notion that confidence is something you build up throughout life.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You are standing on the 'be yourself' side of the argument, but are telling me that shy girls don't like confidence. In other words I'm screwed.
    Dude just go up to her say i like you then grab her butt or something.

    (Original post by Mattinfenwa)
    Where on Earth has your logic come from. Everyone has preferences whether it be the same as other people like you or not.
    In general people want to be around someone who believes in themselves or why would other people believe in them. Its just a rule of life.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Dude just go up to her say i like you then grab her butt or something.



    In general people want to be around someone who believes in themselves or why would other people believe in them. Its just a rule of life.
    'Dude just go up to her say i like you then grab her butt or something.' I don't think she's that type of girl...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I could make this a lot more descriptive, but I have coursework due tomorrow

    I'm a shy guy in love with a shy girl, who is almost definitely interested in me. We look at each-other a lot. However this is all that happens, nothing more, and I really want to know this girl. The summer holiday is approaching too fast and I have to talk to her by then.

    I know exactly what I need to do, but I really do lack self-confidence, is there a quick way to achieve confidence?
    Confidence is gained but it requires months and a willingness to jump in to begin with.

    At age 17 i was a nervy virgin who when i started to meet girls regularly would only try kiss a girl at the end.

    By age 19 i was ****ing women within half an hour of meeting them.

    ...

    Moral of the story OP, go for it. Focus on what is good about you and believe it will be her loss if she rejects you. Make a move and seize what you desire.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    This conversation is pointless because confidence is different to each different person. You can't define confidence objectively like you can with say, the sciences, so debating on what confidence is in meaningless. Nobody is born confident, it's influenced by environmental factors such as experience and the concentrations of hormones (especially testosterone) in the blood.

    I am not a shy girl, I don't find public speaking to be particularly intimidating and I don't really understand those that do but I haven't felt that way all my life, lending support to the notion that confidence is something you build up throughout life.
    The fact is everyone is born confident. When you are a child you dont say oh what will they think if I say this or that or will i get rejected if I talk to this person that person etc. Unconfidence is influenced by enviornment. When you are born you dont doubt yourself of your moves which is what confidence really is. After you grow up you start to doubt yourself. You see a true confident person would always belief in himself if he thinks he is right and that means they dont find public speaking or anything intimidating
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The fact is everyone is born confident. When you are a child you dont say oh what will they think if I say this or that or will i get rejected if I talk to this person that person etc. Unconfidence is influenced by enviornment. When you are born you dont doubt yourself of your moves which is what confidence really is. After you grow up you start to doubt yourself. You see a true confident person would always belief in himself if he thinks he is right and that means they dont find public speaking or anything intimidating
    No, I believe that's called arrogance and close mindedness, that isn't a virtue. If a person is convinced the world is flat and refuses to accept the world is in fact, spherical, that doesn't make him confident, that makes him a moron. True confidence comes from admitting when you are wrong and that you have the capacity to be wrong
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So many contrasting opinions...

    On second thought, I will try and find a middle ground.

    I am going to try my best to appear like a good, down-to-Earth guy, so that she feels like she can talk to me without acting like somebody I'm not.

    You can all continue debating, but I'm going to bed. See ya. :sleep:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Thanks for the advice! I tried to take all opinions into account.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Rakas21)
    Confidence is gained but it requires months and a willingness to jump in to begin with.

    At age 17 i was a nervy virgin who when i started to meet girls regularly would only try kiss a girl at the end.

    By age 19 i was ****ing women within half an hour of meeting them.

    ...

    Moral of the story OP, go for it. Focus on what is good about you and believe it will be her loss if she rejects you. Make a move and seize what you desire.
    Thanks, I hope to make that transformation some day.

    Also revenge of the sith is undoubtedly the best star wars movie.
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    If arent feeling confident and you are sure she likes you back, just go to her straight up, be honest. Be like "It took a lot of guts for me to come up here and speak to you, but I thought it would be worth it to finally speak to you; and it has been"

    Then wham shlam BHAM bitta thiss bitta that and she is yours. Trust me. I havent done this before.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Dont listen to any of these guys. Confidence cannot be faked or you will fall flat on your face. You really have to ask yourself.... if you cannot simply appraoch the girl how will you maintain a relationship with her if you're scared to approach her? So faking it wont do anything because it isnt over after you ask her out, you have to maintain a relationship. Being confidence is a mindset. Ask yourself why you are unconfident/care about other's opinion... then come back here and reply.



    Dont listen to the guy above
    Actually confidence faked will eventually become part of who you are - it happened for me and now I am naturally more confident
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Dont listen to any of these guys. Confidence cannot be faked or you will fall flat on your face. You really have to ask yourself.... if you cannot simply appraoch the girl how will you maintain a relationship with her if you're scared to approach her? So faking it wont do anything because it isnt over after you ask her out, you have to maintain a relationship. Being confidence is a mindset. Ask yourself why you are unconfident/care about other's opinion... then come back here and reply.

    Dont listen to the guy above
    Confidence can be faked, I've done it. And as far as maintaining the relationship, they're friends already, no one is saying to be a completely different person, he just needs that little boost to ask her out.
 
 
 
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