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My brothers 7 and autistic

He’s not very autistic very very low in the spectrum however his confidence is very low with people he doesn’t know. In fact he doesn’t even bother opening his mouth or reacting. He’s got selective mutism. As his older sister, I want to encourage him to gain some sort of confidence mostly in speaking loud. Would buying a small mic help with that? ( I know it’s got nothing to do with it but surely it could help somehow?)

I teach at a Saturday school, would it be smart to keep him in my class just to encourage him to play and speak to other boys his age? Or would I be preventing him from gaining confidence?

Thank you thank you
Reply 1
Has your family sought professional advice on your brother's condition?
Reply 2
Original post by Surnia
Has your family sought professional advice on your brother's condition?

Yes yes x
I'm autistic
Not trying to be rude or anything but by saying he is very, very low on the spectrum implies that you don't really know anything about autism and how it manifests. Some people have a lot more internalised and theres masking which takes up so much energy.
I would never speak to anyone who wasn't in my immediate family until I was 15. Honestly the best thing to do is to let him know you support his communication style and if he doesn't want to communicate then don't make him. Also selective mutism is an anxiety based diagnosis so its about making him comfortable as forcing would make the situation worse
Reply 4
Original post by Noble.x
He’s not very autistic very very low in the spectrum however his confidence is very low with people he doesn’t know. In fact he doesn’t even bother opening his mouth or reacting. He’s got selective mutism. As his older sister, I want to encourage him to gain some sort of confidence mostly in speaking loud. Would buying a small mic help with that? ( I know it’s got nothing to do with it but surely it could help somehow?)

I teach at a Saturday school, would it be smart to keep him in my class just to encourage him to play and speak to other boys his age? Or would I be preventing him from gaining confidence?

Thank you thank you

autistic person here, few things to point out in your message.
When he speaks to unfamiliar people, it isn't that he can't be "bothered" engaging with them. I struggle with the same thing, and it isn't that I don't want to, I do, but sometimes it takes everything I have to talk to them or I keep repeating what I would say in my head but I physically can't say anything. Obviously this is my experience and it may not be the same as his, but it might give some insight.
As for buying a mic, I don't understand why this would help. I know you're trying to do your best to help, but if I was in this situation, it would prevent me from talking because it would make my voice louder. It seems slightly embarrassing to me, unless I'm not understanding your post correctly.
I would also recommend giving him the option to go to your class, but don't force him either, because this can just make him miserable and further dread going to them, limiting his ability to be able to speak with the other kids.
The problem of not being able to speak with unfamilar people doesn't always stem from a confidence issue. For me, I'm confident in my opinion at least, but put me in a room with people I don't know and I will hardly say anything. It's mostly the different environment and autistic people tend to not like change.
I would offer other opportunities to meet new people, like does he have a special interest or just hobbies in general he can meet new people in? e.g sport clubs etc. Again I would advise against forcing him to attend.
Also, I would say that it will get better over time in the sense that he might be able to do it later on in life, which is what happened with me. My parents didnt force me to do anything and my social skills developed from attending things I actually wanted to go to.
Reply 5
Original post by leno_o
autistic person here, few things to point out in your message.
When he speaks to unfamiliar people, it isn't that he can't be "bothered" engaging with them. I struggle with the same thing, and it isn't that I don't want to, I do, but sometimes it takes everything I have to talk to them or I keep repeating what I would say in my head but I physically can't say anything. Obviously this is my experience and it may not be the same as his, but it might give some insight.
As for buying a mic, I don't understand why this would help. I know you're trying to do your best to help, but if I was in this situation, it would prevent me from talking because it would make my voice louder. It seems slightly embarrassing to me, unless I'm not understanding your post correctly.
I would also recommend giving him the option to go to your class, but don't force him either, because this can just make him miserable and further dread going to them, limiting his ability to be able to speak with the other kids.
The problem of not being able to speak with unfamilar people doesn't always stem from a confidence issue. For me, I'm confident in my opinion at least, but put me in a room with people I don't know and I will hardly say anything. It's mostly the different environment and autistic people tend to not like change.
I would offer other opportunities to meet new people, like does he have a special interest or just hobbies in general he can meet new people in? e.g sport clubs etc. Again I would advise against forcing him to attend.
Also, I would say that it will get better over time in the sense that he might be able to do it later on in life, which is what happened with me. My parents didnt force me to do anything and my social skills developed from attending things I actually wanted to go to.

Thank you so much. A lot of what you just said didn’t cross my mind and helped me a lot in looking at it from a different perspective. The microphone was to try gain his confidence and make it easier for him to talk in front of me and family members. I don’t know I just thought it’ll work. I did give him an option if he does want to go to Saturday school to learn Arabic and IS and took a few months for him to choose and he did choose at the end. He’s able to play with kids his age and interact whenever he feels ready. I try give him the empowerment to be able to feel confident in what he’s saying and his opinions. I know that he will get better in time and I can definitely see a change in the past few years. I just want to know what i can do at this current time that would help him feel like he is able to talk to others. I know he does feel anxious and I acknowledge it. Again, thank you for your helpful reply!
Reply 6
Original post by Noble.x
Thank you so much. A lot of what you just said didn’t cross my mind and helped me a lot in looking at it from a different perspective. The microphone was to try gain his confidence and make it easier for him to talk in front of me and family members. I don’t know I just thought it’ll work. I did give him an option if he does want to go to Saturday school to learn Arabic and IS and took a few months for him to choose and he did choose at the end. He’s able to play with kids his age and interact whenever he feels ready. I try give him the empowerment to be able to feel confident in what he’s saying and his opinions. I know that he will get better in time and I can definitely see a change in the past few years. I just want to know what i can do at this current time that would help him feel like he is able to talk to others. I know he does feel anxious and I acknowledge it. Again, thank you for your helpful reply!

yeah, would just say give him options and don’t try to rush things and make him interact like the other kids, since he’s not like the other kids. you’re doing all the right things from the looks of it!

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