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What should I do about my boyfriend? watch

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    I met my bf in August 2008. He was a friend of a friend, and i kind of knew him through volleyball. Anyways, we were in a class together (i was in 5th year, he was in 6th year) and in January 2009, we started going out.

    This is the tricky part...he went to a party one Saturday night, a few weeks into our relationship. At school on Monday, I heard he'd slept with a girl at the party - I was devastated. I dumped him basically as soon as I heard..by text. He didn't know that I knew about the girl though - I just told him that I thought we'd be better as friends..

    Things were really awkward for a while - he could barely look at me, ket alone speak to me. He still hadn't told me what had happened with this girl. My friend (also his friend) eventually convinced him to tell me. So, one night, he texted me and told me that at this party he'd kissed this girl - just kissed. I told him that I'd heard, and thats why i'd dumped him. So i told him i wanted to be friends, but that he was a real ****

    Gradually, we began texting again, and started going out again a month or so later. We've been going out since then (About April last year) without any major problems.

    However. His ex is doing her best to make me feel paranoid. They went out for a while (i don't know how long, he doesn't like to say, and i don't like to ask) but I know he lost his virginity to her. They split up in 2007, and remain friends, which i'd be fine with if she didn't obviously still like him. She constantly texts him, facebooks him etc. Thing is, he usually texts back. I don't really want to say anything to him, butits really bugging me!!

    I tell myself I trust him, but this party incident is at the back of my mind, and I worry about his ex stealing him.

    I love my boyfriend, but sometimes i feel inferior to his ex. So what should I do? Confront him - tell him I don't like his clingy ex (and risk sounding clingy myself) or leave it and hope that she moves on?

    Advice much appreciated!!!
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    Sorry but a bad relationship isnt a relationship... either question him or leave him.. i wouldnt put up with lack of trust.
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    You can't build a relation on mistrust. Now you say his ex, then the girl at the party, and maybe there will be in the future a new girl in another party or a colleague or...

    It's not about how beautiful you are compared to his ex or any other girl! It's how satisfied with you he is. If you love him and you are clever, then you will know how to behave to keep him in love with you. A DECENT guy who is happy with his girl, would not exchange her for any other.

    Give it a try, and if you see in the coming months that he's not caring about you as you want, then you should consider ending this relation and finding a better guy.

    good luck :cool:
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    i had the same kinda problem with my ex gf, one of my 'friends' kept talking to her sexually, and he kept making me seriously paranoid too... but i have to say, i had to end it, especially when i found out that she had been lying to me about a few things... but yea, either trust him so much that you should be fine, or probably end it. but i would like to say don't keep your hopes up, never turns out great
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    hey, i would speak to your boyfriend about this. You don't want to sound clingy but to me an ex is an ex for a reason. Don't make it out that you never want him to contact her or not text her back but perhaps ask him how he would feel if the situation was reversed and you were in contact with your ex a lot?

    Just talk to him, he probably doesn't even realise that this is boring you and i'm sure if you spoke to him he would cut down the contact if he knew it was bothering you. Also, trust is a big issue in relationships and although he has cheated on you in the past you need to either move on if you want the relationship to work or get out. This guy is with you afterall, not anyone else, just remember that xx
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    (Original post by ck22)
    I met my bf in August 2008. He was a friend of a friend, and i kind of knew him through volleyball. Anyways, we were in a class together (i was in 5th year, he was in 6th year) and in January 2009, we started going out.

    This is the tricky part...he went to a party one Saturday night, a few weeks into our relationship. At school on Monday, I heard he'd slept with a girl at the party - I was devastated. I dumped him basically as soon as I heard..by text. He didn't know that I knew about the girl though - I just told him that I thought we'd be better as friends..

    Things were really awkward for a while - he could barely look at me, ket alone speak to me. He still hadn't told me what had happened with this girl. My friend (also his friend) eventually convinced him to tell me. So, one night, he texted me and told me that at this party he'd kissed this girl - just kissed. I told him that I'd heard, and thats why i'd dumped him. So i told him i wanted to be friends, but that he was a real ****

    Gradually, we began texting again, and started going out again a month or so later. We've been going out since then (About April last year) without any major problems.

    However. His ex is doing her best to make me feel paranoid. They went out for a while (i don't know how long, he doesn't like to say, and i don't like to ask) but I know he lost his virginity to her. They split up in 2007, and remain friends, which i'd be fine with if she didn't obviously still like him. She constantly texts him, facebooks him etc. Thing is, he usually texts back. I don't really want to say anything to him, butits really bugging me!!

    I tell myself I trust him, but this party incident is at the back of my mind, and I worry about his ex stealing him.

    I love my boyfriend, but sometimes i feel inferior to his ex. So what should I do? Confront him - tell him I don't like his clingy ex (and risk sounding clingy myself) or leave it and hope that she moves on?

    Advice much appreciated!!!
    Advice is what you seek eh?

    If you can't trust the guy, END IT

    Simple as...
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    (Original post by ck22)
    I met my bf in August 2008. He was a friend of a friend, and i kind of knew him through volleyball. Anyways, we were in a class together (i was in 5th year, he was in 6th year) and in January 2009, we started going out.

    This is the tricky part...he went to a party one Saturday night, a few weeks into our relationship. At school on Monday, I heard he'd slept with a girl at the party - I was devastated. I dumped him basically as soon as I heard..by text. He didn't know that I knew about the girl though - I just told him that I thought we'd be better as friends..

    Things were really awkward for a while - he could barely look at me, ket alone speak to me. He still hadn't told me what had happened with this girl. My friend (also his friend) eventually convinced him to tell me. So, one night, he texted me and told me that at this party he'd kissed this girl - just kissed. I told him that I'd heard, and thats why i'd dumped him. So i told him i wanted to be friends, but that he was a real ****

    Gradually, we began texting again, and started going out again a month or so later. We've been going out since then (About April last year) without any major problems.

    However. His ex is doing her best to make me feel paranoid. They went out for a while (i don't know how long, he doesn't like to say, and i don't like to ask) but I know he lost his virginity to her. They split up in 2007, and remain friends, which i'd be fine with if she didn't obviously still like him. She constantly texts him, facebooks him etc. Thing is, he usually texts back. I don't really want to say anything to him, butits really bugging me!!

    I tell myself I trust him, but this party incident is at the back of my mind, and I worry about his ex stealing him.

    I love my boyfriend, but sometimes i feel inferior to his ex. So what should I do? Confront him - tell him I don't like his clingy ex (and risk sounding clingy myself) or leave it and hope that she moves on?

    Advice much appreciated!!!

    Question him find out what you need IF he dosent agree with these questions then tough. What would you do if you left it so long that he was actually cheating on you? if he does find someone else .
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    You don't trust him (and tbh, why should you, he cheated on you, then lied to you about it).
    Sounds like a non-starter of a relationship tbh.
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    They broke up for a reason, OP. If he wanted to be with her, he wouldn't be in a relationship with you. Talk to him about it, ask him where he stands, but don't be too overbearing because that'll push him away.
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    if you don't trust, don't be with him. It's not rocket science

    Maybe avoid text dumping him this time though...avoid any relationship drama over text, it's childish
 
 
 
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