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Is there such a thing as someone for everyone? watch

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    Anon or delete please.

    Maybe it's because it's Valentine's tomorrow, but I'm doing a lot of thinking about my singleness, and it sucks! Everywhere I look it's Valentine's this, Valentine's that, Valentine's bloody everything. And I'm sick of it.

    It's just something that never seems to go right for me, I always like the wrong people, always. The people that then express an interest in me, I'm just not interested in. A guy recently who liked me and I actually liked him, I messed it all up. So maybe I should just take it as a hint and give up now and just join a nunnery or something!

    I'm sick of having people say to me that there's someone out there, you just haven't met them yet. What if it's not true, what if it's actually all a load of rubbish, and there isn't someone out there for everyone. How many women end up alone, did they all choose that? Where's there someone? So if there isn't someone out there for them, then how do I know that there's someone out there for me?

    I've had so many people ask me lately if I've found myself a boyfriend yet, like it's that simple. They, and I mean guys, go on about how I'm such a great person, I'm sweet, I'm funny and all that, and I know they generally mean it, but it doesn't really change anything does it. I guess my problem is that I'm overweight, but it's not something I'm happy with, at all, and I'm fixing it. I've lost a fair bit of weight, and I'm working on the rest. Just starting to feel like maybe there isn't anyone for me, anywhere.

    Sorry, I'm rambling now, I just needed to rant and get it out I think. Wonder if things will ever change, if I will ever meet that someone, we'll see I guess.
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    I believe whole heartedly that there are thousands of people, if not millions for everyone, its easy to forget how big the world is, and how many people actually exist sometimes when day to day life dramas and social circles are affecting you. Spend this time whilst you are single working on yourself, develop as a person and find who you are, I find the more sure you are of that the more people are drawn to you.
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    I know how you feel

    Sadly, and contrary to popular belief, there is not someone for everyone. If you look at it technically, there are more women than men on this planet, which means that there isn't a man for every woman. If that makes sense.

    Also, some people stay single for all their lives. There is no guarantee that you will find that "special someone". That doesnt mean you can't, but it's up to you.
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    (Original post by MrHappy_J)
    I know how you feel

    Sadly, and contrary to popular belief, there is not someone for everyone. If you look at it technically, there are more women than men on this planet, which means that there isn't a man for every woman. If that makes sense.

    Also, some people stay single for all their lives. There is no guarantee that you will find that "special someone". That doesnt mean you can't, but it's up to you.
    Plus there's all those pesky gays screwing up the numbers

    Op, it's natural to feel like that sometimes but I doubt many people are attracted to a sad face. Concentrate on making yourself happy, forget all about wanting a boyfriend, ramble on your blog about how you love being single so you can do what you like, don't have to worry about someone else and BAM you'll find someone. It only works if you completely mean it though.
    Plus to help your chances along, try internet dating. But I'd only do that when you're in a good mood so you can write happy things about yourself.
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    (Original post by romeos*****)
    Plus there's all those pesky gays screwing up the numbers

    Op, it's natural to feel like that sometimes but I doubt many people are attracted to a sad face. Concentrate on making yourself happy, forget all about wanting a boyfriend, ramble on your blog about how you love being single so you can do what you like, don't have to worry about someone else and BAM you'll find someone. It only works if you completely mean it though.
    Plus to help your chances along, try internet dating. But I'd only do that when you're in a good mood so you can write happy things about yourself.
    In other words, she should just forget her feelings and pretend that she's happy being single?

    I doubt that'll work. The human mind is more complex than that, we can't cheat it into believing that we're happy when we're not.

    Nevertheless, I admire your positiveness.
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    I always seem to attract guys that I'm not in to. And I never meet guys that I actually like! It's weird, but I'd rather be single for life then put up with, what I consider to be, second best!

    I do believe there is someone out there for all of us though... we just may never meet them!LOL Sad but true
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    (Original post by MrHappy_J)
    In other words, she should just forget her feelings and pretend that she's happy being single?

    I doubt that'll work. The human mind is more complex than that, we can't cheat it into believing that we're happy when we're not.

    Nevertheless, I admire your positiveness.
    Hence why I said concentrate on making herself happy, and that the mindset only works if you completely believe it. :yes:

    However a little fake it til you make it probably wouldn't hurt either. There's a difference between forgetting your feelings and sitting around dwelling about how lonely and single you are. If you stop labelling yourself like that, you'll start (it's a process) to become happier.
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    (Original post by romeos*****)
    Hence why I said concentrate on making herself happy, and that the mindset only works if you completely believe it. :yes:

    However a little fake it til you make it probably wouldn't hurt either. There's a difference between forgetting your feelings and sitting around dwelling about how lonely and single you are. If you stop labelling yourself like that, you'll start (it's a process) to become happier.
    I don't buy that to be honest, I don't think anyone could fool themselves into being happy. And I especially wouldn't go around telling others about the freedom of being single, that would make her sound like a phoney. Friends are there for a reason, you don't have to lie to them.
    That said, if it works for the OP then fair enough.
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    Obviously not in China, where the male:female raatio is 4:1. So unless 3/4 of chinamen take it up the chuff, there's gonna be a lot of singletons out there.
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    theres far more than one person out there for everyone.
    if there was only one, we'd have to spend every second of our life meeting billions of people trying to find the one.

    theres plenty of people out there you could happily be with / spend your life with.
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    (Original post by didgeridoo12uk)
    theres far more than one person out there for everyone.
    if there was only one, we'd have to spend every second of our life meeting billions of people trying to find the one.

    theres plenty of people out there you could happily be with / spend your life with.
    :no:
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    I don't know why there SHOULD be someone for everyone... we're not made with someone else in mind, and I'm sure for some people, there isn't anyone. It's just quite lucky that most people eventually find someone suitable, even if they're not made for each other. As long as you're not holding prospective partners up to some hideous list of criteria, you should be alright eventually.
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    (Original post by Quail)
    I don't know why there SHOULD be someone for everyone... we're not made with someone else in mind, and I'm sure for some people, there isn't anyone. It's just quite lucky that most people eventually find someone suitable, even if they're not made for each other. As long as you're not holding prospective partners up to some hideous list of criteria, you should be alright eventually.
    This.

    There is no logic in the idea that there is someone for everyone.
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    I'm not necessarily saying that somewhere in the world there is one specific person, more that at some point, some day you will meet someone and they become that someone. But yeah, there are billions of possibilities. I'm just doubting that any of the possibilities will ever become a someone. I have every reason to be happy really, family life for once is going well, I'm in my final year of uni and looks like I'll get a high 2:1 possibly a first, my friends are great, grad prospects looking good, and I am happy with all that. But I look around me and my friends are starting to settle down, move in together, get married, have kids and I'm just left wondering if I'm ever going to have that. I really do always like the wrong people, and the wrong people like me, have to wonder if things will ever go right. Starting to really wonder.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not necessarily saying that somewhere in the world there is one specific person, more that at some point, some day you will meet someone and they become that someone. But yeah, there are billions of possibilities. I'm just doubting that any of the possibilities will ever become a someone. I have every reason to be happy really, family life for once is going well, I'm in my final year of uni and looks like I'll get a high 2:1 possibly a first, my friends are great, grad prospects looking good, and I am happy with all that. But I look around me and my friends are starting to settle down, move in together, get married, have kids and I'm just left wondering if I'm ever going to have that. I really do always like the wrong people, and the wrong people like me, have to wonder if things will ever go right. Starting to really wonder.
    Getting married and having kids isn't the be-all, really. Be thankful that you'll at least have a good degree and a good future career before getting married, whereas all your friends will become housewives.
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    (Original post by MrHappy_J)
    :no:
    why :no: ??


    if you took a random sample from the people i know, of 20 girls, i reckon i could have a happy long term relationship with at least one of them.

    they probably wouldn't be who i get married to, but its just silly to say that theres only one person out there for each of us. theres obviously loads of people we could easily be with.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by didgeridoo12uk)
    why :no: ??


    if you took a random sample from the people i know, of 20 girls, i reckon i could have a happy long term relationship with at least one of them.

    they probably wouldn't be who i get married to, but its just silly to say that theres only one person out there for each of us. theres obviously loads of people we could easily be with.
    I would'nt be so sure about that. I've met more than a handful of guys, and I don't see myself being capable of having a long term relationship with any of them.
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    (Original post by MrHappy_J)
    Getting married and having kids isn't the be-all, really. Be thankful that you'll at least have a good degree and a good future career before getting married, whereas all your friends will become housewives.
    I get what you're saying, and I agree, it's not the be all and end all. And I'm not saying I want it right now, but it is something that I want. I can't imagine never having that, maybe it's coming from such a big family, I can't imagine not having a family of my own. Part of me feels pathetic saying it, I'm 23 for Christ sake, it's not like I've got my biological clock ticking away just yet! I really am thankful for my education, and I kind of said at the beginning of uni that uni had to be my focus, but I guess now I'm wondering if that's all there'll ever be.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would'nt be so sure about that. I've met more than a handful of guys, and I don't see myself being capable of having a long term relationship with any of them.
    maybe you're just hanging out with the wrong crowd of people?
    as long as i find the girl pretty, and we can have a laugh / good conversations, and the girl isn't the type to sleep around behind my back.... i could quite happily go out with them.

    that probably covers a quarter of the girls i know, obviously not all of them will like me back in the same way, and obviously some of those wouldn't work out long term, which is why i think 1 in 20 is a pretty good estimate for me.

    and no i dont hit on / go out with a quarter of the girls that i know. i just make a judgement call on whether i think we'll get on better as friends or partners, then go with that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I get what you're saying, and I agree, it's not the be all and end all. And I'm not saying I want it right now, but it is something that I want. I can't imagine never having that, maybe it's coming from such a big family, I can't imagine not having a family of my own. Part of me feels pathetic saying it, I'm 23 for Christ sake, it's not like I've got my biological clock ticking away just yet! I really am thankful for my education, and I kind of said at the beginning of uni that uni had to be my focus, but I guess now I'm wondering if that's all there'll ever be.
    you're still at uni, there'll be plenty of opportunities for you to meet new people and find a potential long-term partner. some people don't get married until they're middle-aged, being single at your age isn't uncommon at all.
 
 
 
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