Am I in the wrong or is he?

Last September, me and my boyfriend had a row and I dumped him; the following night I went back to our old university town of Sheffield and ended up pulling someone else. The next day I told him about this, we decided to give it another go, and got back together.

Since then, he had a massive problem with me going to Sheffield during the week when he was at work (we live in different cities during the week; he works and I'm a student so I have more free time) as he said it reminded him of what I did and he was worried I might do the same thing if I went out there with the same people etc.

I went anyway a couple of times, but then agreed that if it really bothered him, I wouldn't go. However, at the moment I'm revising for exams and haven't been able to see him; and he has gone to Sheffield twice. I'm annoyed that I didn't go when if I had my way I would have been going at least every couple of weeks. Is it reasonable for him to do this or am I being a complete walkover?

Please, anyone?

i beleive you should go to sheffield, your young and what you did was probably out of stupidness.
and isnt the whole point of going to uni is to become independant and starting to make choice for yourself,
try to reason with him some how. :/

Reply 3

Hannahbubbles

Why let him dictate what you will or will not do?! If you wanna go then go, if he has a problem then he doesn't trust you thus the relationship is a waste of time IMO.

Reply 4

munchkin88

That isn't what I'm asking. What I'm saying is do you think it's unreasonable that he is going whilst I'm revising, after telling me I can't go myself?

Reply 5

alpanagar

i think personally think its unreasonable.
you should go, why should he be allowed to go, and why should he be allowed to make firm decisions for himself while youve given up going to sheffield for him. :/

Reply 6

LoveDuck

He can't expect a working relationship if he won't trust you.
Plus, if you can't do what you want, you're going to unhappy anyway so it's a waste of time.
He accepted what you did and then agreed to get back togetehr with you.
So he can't keep throwing what you did in your face all of the time.
I'm not saying he shoulnt be upset about it, but if he's never going to get over it, then how does he expect it to ever work?
Really?

I think you should just say something like,
I know i've upset you in the past but fi you're never going to let this go, we're gonna go nowhere.
And if you do what makes you happy (i.e going to Sheffield) he'll be unhappy and if you do what makes him happy (and don't go to Sheffield) you'll be unhappy.
Like, you understand that he doesn't like what you did but it;s kind of a lose-lose situation atm.

From what you said, you haven't cheated on him?
So why would you do it now after you're getting back on track?
Plus, if you were gonna cheat, you could do it anywhere.
Whether you're in Sheffield or not makes no difference.

You might have upset him, but he chose to forgive you when you got back together. So he can't just keep throwing it at you. It's not fair.

Reply 7

Mr-Fletcher-Ryland

What is so good about Sheffield?

Reply 8

ems_18

I think he needs to trust you a bit more. Why don't you just arrange to go out together when you both have time?

Reply 9

Hannahbubbles

munchkin88

That isn't what I'm asking. What I'm saying is do you think it's unreasonable that he is going whilst I'm revising, after telling me I can't go myself?

Well yes it's unreasonable... You shouldn't have double standards in a relationship....

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