The Student Room Group

Would like girls opinions please

This is probably going to come across as an incoherent rant but I want an outsiders opinion on this please :smile:

I feel like I do everything for my boyfriend and don't get back anything in return, he doesn't even seem to appreciate it most of the time.

When I met him he was working in a supermarket, on drugs, no real aspirations. He dropped out of sixth form without A Levels even though he was academically capable and he said he since regretted it.
He told me he was unhappy with his lifestyle but didn't think he could do anything about it.

In the time we've been together he also lost his full time job, struggled finding another and ran up large debts.

I have always tried to be as supportive as I could, looked for jobs for him, helped him fill out debt forms, and gave him loads of help when he decided to do an access to he course at college.

I just feel like he doesnt really appreciate it. He tells me I'm nagging frequently even if I ask how his college is going and it annoys me after all this that he still doesn't really have the motivation to do anything. For example he would play on internet games all day long instead of doing something more proactive like working to pay off his debt or doing college work.

I don't know maybe I'm over reacting. Just gets to me when I always try my best to help him and make him happy :frown:
Reply 1
to be honest hes a bum and i wouldnt go near him. sorry but ambition is something I have a lot of myself therefore I need it reciprocated in a relationship. i just wouldnt push him into doing anything he doesnt want to....your with him because you love him and you shouldnt ask for anything of him xxx
Reply 2
sounds like my ex,

He's now 22.. dropped out of sixth form at 16, not done a THING since.. not thinking about doing anything either...
Reply 3
Your boyfriend is a bum/loser/wasteman etc whatever you wanna call it

He's sponging off you and will continue to do so whilst you support him.
Reply 4
I'm going to sound like a clingy, dippy tart but i do love him lots :frown:

And we're really happy together normally its only this that I really don't like about him.
you're not over reacting, tell him to get off his lazy arse and get into gear if he wants anything out of life, and if he calls you helping him and asking how he is 'nagging' its not worth you trying.
support him, but don't help him if he's not going to help himself. it's upto him in the end.
Reply 6
Well thats your fault for dating scumbags and avoiding the 'nice guys' you girls claim you want so much :yep:


Generic tsr male response, you knew it was coming :p:

In seriousness though, if the way he lives his life is making you unhappy, and he is unwilling to change it for you, then he's not worth your time. Let him know if he doesn't fix himself you'll leave him. Even if you don't mean it, it'll give him a kick up the backside and its amazing what guys will do when faced with the prospect of losing their gf's...if they really like them, that is.
Reply 7
Anonymous
This is probably going to come across as an incoherent rant but I want an outsiders opinion on this please :smile:

I feel like I do everything for my boyfriend and don't get back anything in return, he doesn't even seem to appreciate it most of the time.

When I met him he was working in a supermarket, on drugs, no real aspirations. He dropped out of sixth form without A Levels even though he was academically capable and he said he since regretted it.
He told me he was unhappy with his lifestyle but didn't think he could do anything about it.

In the time we've been together he also lost his full time job, struggled finding another and ran up large debts.

I have always tried to be as supportive as I could, looked for jobs for him, helped him fill out debt forms, and gave him loads of help when he decided to do an access to he course at college.

I just feel like he doesnt really appreciate it. He tells me I'm nagging frequently even if I ask how his college is going and it annoys me after all this that he still doesn't really have the motivation to do anything. For example he would play on internet games all day long instead of doing something more proactive like working to pay off his debt or doing college work.

I don't know maybe I'm over reacting. Just gets to me when I always try my best to help him and make him happy :frown:


I would leave. I could never be with a man with no ambitions, and frankly he needs to have them for himself, you cannot be ambitious for him. So don't waste your time trying to make something of his life.
He will only change when he wants to, nothing you can do will help. maybe leaving him might make him realise, and want to change for himself? I couldnt handle that relationship, I'd leave!!!

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