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overcoming shyness

i'm 18 years old girl and i'm really shy and have no confidence at all and i hate public speaking. i've been like this for as long as i can remember although i can say i'm much less shy now than i used to be when i was younger. all this time it hasn't really been a problem i've managed to get through school and do well, but now i really feel like its bringing me down. i started karate 2 years ago to help improve this and i really enjoy it but i'm still shy and not confident. the other day we were doing this kicks and eveyone had to stand in a circle and count to ten one after the other while doing 10 kicks and i just couldn't do it because iwas so scared of counting to 10 in front of 15 people. i really really want to change this i wnat to feel more confident, is there any sort of classes/things i can do to improve this. i'm really desperate i feel like i can't do anything

Reply 1

Reue

20

confidence classes are just stupid imo. Try going out places with a few friends, like to bars n stuff and join in when they talk to new ppl.

Reply 2

Johnny 5

12

Keep posting on TSR: we're all nice, and soon you'll realise that the world isn't that bad.

Reply 3

john171

11

Ask yourself the question "Why am I shy?"

Reply 4

embrace

OP

2

john171

Ask yourself the question "Why am I shy?"

i do all the time! and i still really don't know i just keep telling myself to be a little bit louder but when i try to do something just stops me its really hard to explain

Reply 5

Jack Twist

1

embrace

i do all the time! and i still really don't know i just keep telling myself to be a little bit louder but when i try to do something just stops me its really hard to explain

The way I came over being shy, was to bring in my Ipod and sing very loud, although i get very weird looks, Im alot more confident :wink:

So my advice: Sing, Sing and Sing :eek:

Reply 6

Ferrus

19

john171

Ask yourself the question "Why am I shy?"

I'm not sure that really helps becuase on the whole even if you did know (which I don't think most shy people to for sure) its one thing engaging in introspection, another being abel to actually act upon the irrationalities of your thought.

Reply 7

qwerty_st/n

11

what are you like when your with ur friends tho?

Reply 8

Refused

Have you told anyone about this? It may sound like the obivious thing but telling someone how you feel is good, they might do things to make you feel comfortable. For example, in that karate class when you felt scared, you could've told the teacher you were shy and as a teacher, he would've definitely helped, say maybe count with you. It's little things like that which will help you in the long run, not classes.

Reply 9

embrace

OP

2

qwerty_st/n

what are you like when your with ur friends tho?

i'm not shy at all with my friends that not a problem just things to saying something in front of the class

Reply 10

PublicSchoolAnn

13

alcohol.obviously it cannot be applied to all situations. But seriously once you have been drunk with folk you find it easier to talk to them sober.

Reply 11

qwerty_st/n

11

PublicSchoolAnn

alcohol.obviously it cannot be applied to all situations. But seriously once you have been drunk with folk you find it easier to talk to them sober.

i generally find the opposite to be true when it comes to alcohol. usually cos ive made such a tit out of myself when ive been drunk, it makes me cringe talking to them sober cos they know what i got up to whereas i dont :redface:

Reply 12

Kismet

7

You can't overcome shyness in one night or so, it'll take time. Try progressing step by step. Write a list of all the social situations that you're afraid of and then give them points 1-10 according to how hard you think they are. Start with the easy ones and move your way up, succeeding at little thing will give you confidence to move on to harder things.

And remember that shyness is not a disease or something. You won't need to become supersocial, just overcome your shyness so that you can do the things you'd like to. Some people are more shy than others and there's nothing wrong with that :smile:

Reply 13

habosh

13

mm I suggest, you try do things that you think requires some courage, like make important phonecalls all buy your self, go places different places, and try different things all by yourself, you'll soon manage and forget all about it, I hate that too the other time my english professor made me read the script in a loud voice infront of all of people in the lecture, I kept getting lost, and reading words wrong, I was somehow shaking or nervous, but i know if I was relaxed and concentrated on the script i would've done much better than when I kept thinking, what if i read a word wrong, what is that I'm gonna get lost...etc while reading!! :biggrin:

Reply 14

rrkmehta

I think the best thing to do is.. put yourself in the situations your shy off, 'cause you'll discover that its not that bad at all.. once you get going you'll be fine and feel more confident. I had the same problem and the way i got over it is by simply geting more involved, its important to do these things now 'cause they'll only get worse if you don't over come it! Its good that your trying to tackle it.. goodluck!

Reply 15

hollywollydoodle

1

have u tried getting a job? i was a lot shyer and not very confident but getting a job where you have to deal with the public helps. i was more confiident after getting a job. you can also meet new people who might help you overcome your shyness. also if you get a job, its such a confidence boost cos you know someone beleievs in you and wanted to hire you.

Reply 16

the bear

20

this might be of use to you:

http://www.shynesshelp.com/

Reply 17

IzzTheGreat

10

I used to be exactly the same. I also did martial arts and got my black belt, and I think that was the turning point because I was expected to teach people and I didn't have the option of being shy! So carry on with the karate and see if you can volunteer in the children's classes or something, that might help.