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Should I talk to my bf about this? Watch

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    #1

    Anon in case he's on here.

    I will try to keep this as brief as possible.

    Background History:
    Me and my ex ended on VERY bad terms. I was with him for 2yrs. He used to physically and mentally abused me. Eventually I felt enough was enough so I left him.

    After I left him he then decided to turn all psycho on me and was doing the whole "if I can't have you then no-one can" routine... started stalking me, threatening me... etc etc. Eventually I had to report him to the police. I haven't heard from him since which was 2 and a half years ago.. when I began to date my current boyfriend (who is an absolute diamond btw).

    So today me and my bf was doing a quick supermarket shop. At the end of the shopping aisle I saw my ex bf's mother.

    She literally just stood there and just started giving me this evil glare. For ages! I went to the next aisle and then she followed me! Again just standing there staring at me. (this was from a distance btw.. not in my face or anything). I felt really uncomfortable and shocked too since I left all traces of him in the past, years ago.

    I then went over to the till to pay. Again, she casually followed me and was standing just a few meters away, glaring at me. My bf was with me the whole time and I'm surprised he didn't even notice the woman. He doesn't know who she was btw.

    Anyway this might sound silly, but it's kind of 'haunted' me throughout the whole day. I feel really upset for some reason. Like I've done something wrong.

    So what i am basically asking is that should I talk to my boyfriend about how I am feeling. I really don't know if it would be worth telling him. What kind of reply am I supposed to expect in return from him.
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    Just be all like "Hello boyfriend, [tell him what happened]. Give me a hug to make me feel better."

    Sorted.

    EDIT: TWO people gave me negative rep for that? You don't like hugs?
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    Yes of course, he can make you feel better as any decent boyfriend would if their girlfriend was upset.
    • PS Helper
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    Of course you should. You havent done anything wrong. Its Win win. He feels like you need protecting and will possibly be a better man becasue of it Go for it.
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    Only tell him if you actually want to. I think if I were you I probably would, just so he can support you.

    You don't have to got into all the details if you don't want, but it might be good just in case you happen to run into your ex's mum again!
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    Yeah obvs just tell him
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    Don't tell your boyfriend unless you really, really trust him. It can really hurt if he offhandedly uses it against you in argument or something (men always find a way), talk to your mum instead.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon in case he's on here.

    I will try to keep this as brief as possible.

    Background History:
    Me and my ex ended on VERY bad terms. I was with him for 2yrs. He used to physically and mentally abused me. Eventually I felt enough was enough so I left him.

    After I left him he then decided to turn all psycho on me and was doing the whole "if I can't have you then no-one can" routine... started stalking me, threatening me... etc etc. Eventually I had to report him to the police. I haven't heard from him since which was 2 and a half years ago.. when I began to date my current boyfriend (who is an absolute diamond btw).

    So today me and my bf was doing a quick supermarket shop. At the end of the shopping aisle I saw my ex bf's mother.

    She literally just stood there and just started giving me this evil glare. For ages! I went to the next aisle and then she followed me! Again just standing there staring at me. (this was from a distance btw.. not in my face or anything). I felt really uncomfortable and shocked too since I left all traces of him in the past, years ago.

    I then went over to the till to pay. Again, she casually followed me and was standing just a few meters away, glaring at me. My bf was with me the whole time and I'm surprised he didn't even notice the woman. He doesn't know who she was btw.

    Anyway this might sound silly, but it's kind of 'haunted' me throughout the whole day. I feel really upset for some reason. Like I've done something wrong.

    So what i am basically asking is that should I talk to my boyfriend about how I am feeling. I really don't know if it would be worth telling him. What kind of reply am I supposed to expect in return from him.
    Based on the fact that this guy has some pretty big issues regarding you, I think you have to tell your bf. How do you know he is not in danger as well ? Your ex's mother has seen him now.

    Personally this is the kind of thing I would want to know about my gf. You've done nothing wrong and people don't get angry at victims.
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    (Original post by BoxesAndBangles)
    Don't tell your boyfriend unless you really, really trust him. It can really hurt if he offhandedly uses it against you in argument or something (men always find a way), talk to your mum instead.
    Because all men are dicks...
    She said she has an awesome boyfriend. I know i would realise it was a sensitive topic an react accordingly not make offhanded comments about it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    wow I didn't even know i got any replies.

    Anyway I will probably just bring it up with him today when he get's home.

    (Original post by BoxesAndBangles)
    Don't tell your boyfriend unless you really, really trust him. It can really hurt if he offhandedly uses it against you in argument or something (men always find a way), talk to your mum instead.
    Of course I trust him. I would rather tell him than my mum... My mum would go over the top and hunt her down or something :facepalm:

    Thanks for all the replies guys!
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    He's her little boy.. she'll always think you're evil, whether it was your fault or not. Sad but true fact about mothers!

    However, she's nothing to you anymore, it doesn't matter what she thinks or does, and she certainly doesn't have any kind of hold over you So just get on with your life, forget about her and spend lots of time with your current boyfriend
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    wow I didn't even know i got any replies.

    Anyway I will probably just bring it up with him today when he get's home.



    Of course I trust him. I would rather tell him than my mum... My mum would go over the top and hunt her down or something :facepalm:

    Thanks for all the replies guys!
    You're very welcome
    • TSR Support Team
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    First off well done from getting away from that horrible guy, secondly it is up to you whether you tell your boyfriend or not, then again if he's decent he will be very understanding.
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    Tell him.

    The advantage of having a boyfriend is being able to share your problems and him being able to cheer you up at times just like these.
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    My girlfriend was in a similar situation, in a way, and still technically is... a lot more serious than that. She left the country because of it, and is with me now, in England.

    Her telling me was very important, because if I hadn't have known, a lot of things would never have made sense. it first of all would have scared the **** out of me, that a guy was after her. It annoyed me. It was a good decision on her part. If it effects your boyfriend, or he will come into contact with your ex, let him know, especially if you trust him, and want this to last.

    If he randomly finds out down the line, he'll be wondering why you didn't say anything. If he's a good boyfriend he'll want to share the problem not let you simmer the whole time.

    Jazzy.
    Xx
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    (Original post by BoxesAndBangles)
    Don't tell your boyfriend unless you really, really trust him. It can really hurt if he offhandedly uses it against you in argument or something (men always find a way), talk to your mum instead.
    You stupid whore.
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    i think that is the point of having a bf tbh
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    (Original post by CB91)
    You stupid whore.
    Thanks for proving my point, not sure how whore is related to anything I said.

    On topic: I had a similar experience, I thought I could trust my current boyfriend at the time with telling him. However after a year or so he changed, and whenever we would fight he would say.. I'm to blame, I'm from a violent background, I drag it around with me. It got me feeling terrible. I didn't say you shouldn't tell yor boyfriend, I said you should only tell him if you are REALLY sure you trust him.
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    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    Just be all like "Hello boyfriend, [tell him what happened]. Give me a hug to make me feel better."

    Sorted.

    EDIT: TWO people gave me negative rep for that? You don't like hugs?
    Definitely this. If he cares about you he'll understand and make you feel loads better.
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    (Original post by BoxesAndBangles)
    Thanks for proving my point, not sure how whore is related to anything I said.

    On topic: I had a similar experience, I thought I could trust my current boyfriend at the time with telling him. However after a year or so he changed, and whenever we would fight he would say.. I'm to blame, I'm from a violent background, I drag it around with me. It got me feeling terrible. I didn't say you shouldn't tell yor boyfriend, I said you should only tell him if you are REALLY sure you trust him.
    It happened to you once, so all men are like that? Nice generalisation there.

    And I felt like calling you one, seeing as you are quite obviously stupid and ignorant. :fyi:
 
 
 
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