Quiet guys - how to approach you?!
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Original post by tinshed
I'd say kiss him but then again you are in high school. chat to him but when you speak to him touch him (like his arm or something). make sure you are not friend zoned.
okay, you have to help me. How exactly do you stop yourself getting "friend-zoned"??? i can never get it right! i either get too friendly with them, then get the "you're like a sister to me" line when i try and make a move. or i'm too distant and it never gets anywhere
this is a real problem for me!
btw, OP, thanks for this thread, it's greatly amused me! i feel like i'm watching a romcom - will they/won't they???
also, i've heard lots of good encouraging advice on here, keep it up
Heres my opinion;
First of all what is your situation at College/University?
I was a confident guy myself but in the last year i've lost all my confidence in girls and in certain people in general. The environment I'm in at college is uncomfortable it's hard to be myself but thats only because in college I've spend all my time doing work and being too serious but at school I was liked more for being the class clown, anyway I'll try to keep on the topic.
If you want the best way to approach him from my point of view as a shy guy is;
= When he's on his own but when no one else is there, sometimes it's hard to be yourself when you think someone else is going to mock what you say, especially in front of girls & your peers.
= Also why do you think he is being unsociable? Is he busy doing work or for example is he eating his lunch and doesn't want to be disturbed so he sits on his own, especially if people are mocking him.
I know it looks 'friendly' but for a shy person it can be really intimidating.
If you carry on smiling at him and maybe just say 'hi' I'm sure the conversation will start off somewhere.
If he doesn't have much to say ask him how his day went?
Anyway thats just my opinion.
I hope I was some what helpful.
First of all what is your situation at College/University?
I was a confident guy myself but in the last year i've lost all my confidence in girls and in certain people in general. The environment I'm in at college is uncomfortable it's hard to be myself but thats only because in college I've spend all my time doing work and being too serious but at school I was liked more for being the class clown, anyway I'll try to keep on the topic.
If you want the best way to approach him from my point of view as a shy guy is;
= When he's on his own but when no one else is there, sometimes it's hard to be yourself when you think someone else is going to mock what you say, especially in front of girls & your peers.
= Also why do you think he is being unsociable? Is he busy doing work or for example is he eating his lunch and doesn't want to be disturbed so he sits on his own, especially if people are mocking him.
I know it looks 'friendly' but for a shy person it can be really intimidating.
If you carry on smiling at him and maybe just say 'hi' I'm sure the conversation will start off somewhere.
If he doesn't have much to say ask him how his day went?
Anyway thats just my opinion.
I hope I was some what helpful.
THIS THREAD IS SO BLOODY ADDICTIVE.
It can act as my substitute because my love life is so much of a fail.
It can act as my substitute because my love life is so much of a fail.
Original post by Mad Cat Lady
Original post by Mad Cat Lady
THIS THREAD IS SO BLOODY ADDICTIVE.
It can act as my substitute because my love life is so much of a fail.
It can act as my substitute because my love life is so much of a fail.
This. It's a bit like a series where I'm screaming at the guy to react.
Original post by Igraine
I liked a shy boy in my school, the minute I have him the slightest hint I liked him he wouldn't leave me alone! He made a funny comment under his breath in Physics and I laughed and turned round to smile at him he went bright red and started making like a puppy dog around me!
You get up early!
What on earth does the bit in bold mean???
Original post by Anonymous
Heres my opinion;
First of all what is your situation at College/University?
I was a confident guy myself but in the last year i've lost all my confidence in girls and in certain people in general. The environment I'm in at college is uncomfortable it's hard to be myself but thats only because in college I've spend all my time doing work and being too serious but at school I was liked more for being the class clown, anyway I'll try to keep on the topic.
If you want the best way to approach him from my point of view as a shy guy is;
= When he's on his own but when no one else is there, sometimes it's hard to be yourself when you think someone else is going to mock what you say, especially in front of girls & your peers.
= Also why do you think he is being unsociable? Is he busy doing work or for example is he eating his lunch and doesn't want to be disturbed so he sits on his own, especially if people are mocking him.
I know it looks 'friendly' but for a shy person it can be really intimidating.
If you carry on smiling at him and maybe just say 'hi' I'm sure the conversation will start off somewhere.
If he doesn't have much to say ask him how his day went?
Anyway thats just my opinion.
I hope I was some what helpful.
First of all what is your situation at College/University?
I was a confident guy myself but in the last year i've lost all my confidence in girls and in certain people in general. The environment I'm in at college is uncomfortable it's hard to be myself but thats only because in college I've spend all my time doing work and being too serious but at school I was liked more for being the class clown, anyway I'll try to keep on the topic.
If you want the best way to approach him from my point of view as a shy guy is;
= When he's on his own but when no one else is there, sometimes it's hard to be yourself when you think someone else is going to mock what you say, especially in front of girls & your peers.
= Also why do you think he is being unsociable? Is he busy doing work or for example is he eating his lunch and doesn't want to be disturbed so he sits on his own, especially if people are mocking him.
I know it looks 'friendly' but for a shy person it can be really intimidating.
If you carry on smiling at him and maybe just say 'hi' I'm sure the conversation will start off somewhere.
If he doesn't have much to say ask him how his day went?
Anyway thats just my opinion.
I hope I was some what helpful.
We're actually not in college yet. Still in high school.
Okay, your second point was really, really good. About getting him on his own. My "friends" are always hanging about me, and obviously they're with me at our art table, so I'm conscious of their presence even just glancing over at the boy I like. A few of them are really obnoxious and are always picking at one of my closer friends because she's dating someone "ugly", so I'm worried they'll make it super obvious to this boy that I like him if they knew. I wish so much I could somehow talk to him on his own; I'd feel so much more at ease.
Not much has happened since I did his crossword for him
I managed to sit next to him during the teacher's presentation and caught him glancing at me a few times. We also grinned at each other when this one kid said something silly, but whatever - I feel lame listing this stuff out.Anyway, do you guys think it's worth it to keep trying? Should I just go for one really bold move before giving him up?
(Btw, I wonder if he's...depressed or something. He was staring out the window today and he looked really awfully sad, and I swear he seemed about to cry
)Original post by Anonymous
Original post by Anonymous
We're actually not in college yet. Still in high school.
Okay, your second point was really, really good. About getting him on his own. My "friends" are always hanging about me, and obviously they're with me at our art table, so I'm conscious of their presence even just glancing over at the boy I like. A few of them are really obnoxious and are always picking at one of my closer friends because she's dating someone "ugly", so I'm worried they'll make it super obvious to this boy that I like him if they knew. I wish so much I could somehow talk to him on his own; I'd feel so much more at ease.
Not much has happened since I did his crossword for him I managed to sit next to him during the teacher's presentation and caught him glancing at me a few times. We also grinned at each other when this one kid said something silly, but whatever - I feel lame listing this stuff out.
Anyway, do you guys think it's worth it to keep trying? Should I just go for one really bold move before giving him up?
(Btw, I wonder if he's...depressed or something. He was staring out the window today and he looked really awfully sad, and I swear he seemed about to cry)
Okay, your second point was really, really good. About getting him on his own. My "friends" are always hanging about me, and obviously they're with me at our art table, so I'm conscious of their presence even just glancing over at the boy I like. A few of them are really obnoxious and are always picking at one of my closer friends because she's dating someone "ugly", so I'm worried they'll make it super obvious to this boy that I like him if they knew. I wish so much I could somehow talk to him on his own; I'd feel so much more at ease.
Not much has happened since I did his crossword for him
I managed to sit next to him during the teacher's presentation and caught him glancing at me a few times. We also grinned at each other when this one kid said something silly, but whatever - I feel lame listing this stuff out.Anyway, do you guys think it's worth it to keep trying? Should I just go for one really bold move before giving him up?
(Btw, I wonder if he's...depressed or something. He was staring out the window today and he looked really awfully sad, and I swear he seemed about to cry
)Nooo!!! don't stop trying!! (well unless you want to of course) :P
Compared to your first post and now, you have come quite far - sat next to him, talked to him, smiled at each other, he glanced at you etc etc... it is improving, but you might just have to be patient
EDIT: oh and about the depressed bit.. maybe something has happened to him personally, like at home or from the past.. just a thought. maybe that's why he is so quiet..?
sorry i'm going all psychological about it :P
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I wish so much I could somehow talk to him on his own; I'd feel so much more at ease.
After your lesson, tell your friends you'll talk to them later, then follow him and talk to him?
I know that sounds a bit weird, but atleast you'll be able to talk to him...
Original post by TariqA
After your lesson, tell your friends you'll talk to them later, then follow him and talk to him?
I know that sounds a bit weird, but atleast you'll be able to talk to him...
I know that sounds a bit weird, but atleast you'll be able to talk to him...
No, maybe I could try that. It's not a half-bad idea, only he rushes out of the classroom so quickly I'd miss him if I didn't hurry. I have a suspicion I'm just a coward. I don't even mind the thought of rejection, but I've never had to approach anyone before and I reckon I'm just chickening out.
I'm always quite but I haven't got a fear of talking to people. :P
Original post by Anonymous
No, maybe I could try that. It's not a half-bad idea, only he rushes out of the classroom so quickly I'd miss him if I didn't hurry. I have a suspicion I'm just a coward. I don't even mind the thought of rejection, but I've never had to approach anyone before and I reckon I'm just chickening out.
It's unusual for a girl to be asking the guy out so I can understand that lol. This guy sounds a lot like me, it sounds like he likes you to be honest. You just have to be brave and take the risk!
This thread had better have a happy ending...i've invested too much interest in it to see it fail. Does he check a clock or something before he starts to pack at the end of class so he can rush out? What does he do immediately after school? Which books does he read in the library? You could be cheeky and leave a note in one of the books he reads.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah so basically there's a guy in my art class (this is in high school, btw) who isn't particularly cute - more than one girl has described him as "generic" or "okay" - but he has a thoughtful manner about him and long story short I have a crush on him.
How on earth do I approach him? He talks to ONE boy in art class, he sits by himself at lunch, and he's only said two words to me, when I asked him about an assignment.
Obviously all "quiet"/antisocial/introverted boys aren't the same, but would you be alarmed if a girl tried to approach you? I've tried to make eye contact with him or smile at him in the hallways, but he's like...in his own world or something. Totally uninterested
So...if you're quiet or shy in school, would you think it creepy for a girl to try and talk to you?
(Oh and a few boys have told me I'm pretty, if that changes anything)
How on earth do I approach him? He talks to ONE boy in art class, he sits by himself at lunch, and he's only said two words to me, when I asked him about an assignment.
Obviously all "quiet"/antisocial/introverted boys aren't the same, but would you be alarmed if a girl tried to approach you? I've tried to make eye contact with him or smile at him in the hallways, but he's like...in his own world or something. Totally uninterested
So...if you're quiet or shy in school, would you think it creepy for a girl to try and talk to you?
(Oh and a few boys have told me I'm pretty, if that changes anything)
Quiet guys, like myself. Depends. I'd say, don't be too forward and upfront and flirt with him but rather approach him where he has strengths of capable of doing something he can. e.g. drawing buildings. Perhaps, asking if he is free to help you quickly teach to drawing two point perspective on buildings and then thanking him?
Why did I use this example, I'm gifted and talented in art and I had a girl came up to me and asked me about it. We had a strong bond then on after
Head up, be positive, be yourself, be care free, doesnt hurt to ask, dont live life regretting it, make friends, show the real you.You're beating around the bush. If you say things like "that's a nice drawing" and "here you go", things that don't REQUIRE a reaction, he's not going to say anything. You say people poke fun at him? even if they are being friendly, you have no idea how cripplingly awkward that is as someone who feels like they can't respond. He probably thinks if he says thanks you'll say "I was being sarcastic, you FOOL!" lol.
With that said, this sound familiar. I was in art class with a guy who was really quiet and awkward, there was a girl who obviously liked him and he also hang out in the library every lunch time.
With that said, this sound familiar. I was in art class with a guy who was really quiet and awkward, there was a girl who obviously liked him and he also hang out in the library every lunch time.
Original post by Naero
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Original post by fourdigit
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Original post by deltabomber
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Original post by TariqA
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Why are you guys so awesome? I think I'd have given up long ago if it hadn't been for all your advice - and general interest, really. I literally think about this thread when I'm in art class, and hope for an opportunity to do something so I can tell you
I don't think it'll get me anywhere, just smiling at him and handing him things now and then. There's got to be something bold and direct, and honestly I'm probably making it more complicated than it is. So if you guys tell me what to do, I promise I'll bite the bullet and just do it. I've got the weekend to gather my strength, haha.
(As a bit of good news, he might like me. I was waiting outside the door with my friends and he did that funny glance thing again, looked at me and then quickly looked away and back again. And when this boy was teasing my friend and I about dressing alike, Thomas looked up and was watching everything till I smiled at him and he sort of looked embarrassed and went back to his work. Or I'm seeing signs that aren't there.)
Anyway, tell me what I ought to do and I will! I doubt my own decisions and make everything complicated. I'm very tempted to just leave him a note or something, but I feel like that's chickening out. And he might find it creepy. So with the information you've got on him, how shall I approach him?
P.S. - There's a dance coming up. I've got to get cracking
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