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How unlucky am i?

Reply 20

Nuheen

12

I think he used you, so time to avenge your v!!

Reply 21

SamTheMan

17

Anonymous

im 16 and had never had a real boyfriend, no lad was really interested in me that way untl i went to a party about 1/2 months before xmas. I met this lad who i thought was really nice, and luckily he asked for my number and things went on from there! You can imagine how happy i was when he asked me out and he genuinely liked me! So he started sleeping at mine often, and in the end i lost my v to him ( Early jan). He has always wanted to go in the army so i knew that its what he wants to do, so the other day he told me hes going in a few weeks time!
How devasted was i? so i thought i know we wont make it work but hadnt really had time to talk it through until last night i got a text saying how me and him are not meant to be and he justs want 2 get on with army, he will always love me etc.
Hes a very experienced lad and hes two years older than me, so last night to my complete suprise when i got that message basically i said no need for excuses lets face it you got what you wanted an then ****ed off and you couldnt even tell me to my face etc etc. He didnt reply so today i had time to think about things and thought maybe i was a bit harsh so i sent him message today saying sorry for being a bit harsh hope we can still be friends.
( Dont worry im not going to turn into a stalker, this will be last message i send unless he gets in touch)
So now you can imagine how upset i am! My first true love is completely over and now i really feel lonely and that i liked having a bf so soon i hope i can find someone else yet i feel nobody will be interested! Help me from feeling so ******! :frown:

Do you think he was just using me, was i out of order, was he etc Oh and i also went on pill, should i stop this ?
Sorry for chatting on its just i didnt want to go out tonight so i cant talk to my friends neither !
xxx

I can understand how devastated you must be. On the upside you've managed to accept that this is your first true love. You've accepted that someone else out there can make you happy. It just seems you're more upset about having lost a boyfriend than having lost him. It'll just take time.

If you can get hold of your friends then that would be the best thing to do right now. Just make sure you choose a friend who will feel some sympathy. There's nothing worse than going on about how hurt you feel and then realise you're totally boring the other person.

Reply 22

Poica

14

This wasn't a true love, and you're 16. There are hundreds of other guys out there, and I think you were quite harsh to him. It's a shame that your first relationship came to an end so quickly, but I can easily see things from his point of view, and if you already knew he wanted to be in the army weren't you prepared for this?

Reply 23

SamTheMan

17

Poica

This wasn't a true love, and you're 16.

I think that's a bit harsh. Why such a relationship shouldn't be considered as true, I'm not sure.
Too many people try to set social standards to what "true love" is:
duration of relationship, age, sexual habits... as if you have to be past a certain age and stay with someone for a minimum of god knows how many years and to have slept with them for a relationship to be considered as "true love". I haven't had too many successful long-term relationships but I've had more feelings with some girls I've been with for a relatively short time than with some girls I was with for several months.

Too many people mistake the emotional, social (and quite often sexual) dependency and the routine that comes with being with someone for a long time, with true love. Then again, everyone has their own definition to what it is. That certainly isn't mine.

Personally, the only reason why I might question she was in love is the fact she seems more bothered about having lost a boyfriend and never getting one again, than having lost this guy in particular.

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

OP

No i was in love with him and i know it sounds like im more sad about having lost a bf but its just because i became so dependent and enjoyed all the things we did. And after being harsh i did apologise :frown:

XX

Reply 25

Poica

14

Love is always subjective. Stick by the old phrase "If you love someone, you let them go". True love wants whatever is best for that person, and I think you're being selfish in this case. Hence why I don't believe it was a true love.

Reply 26

Steve Stifler

Anonymous

im 16 and had never had a real boyfriend, no lad was really interested in me that way untl i went to a party about 1/2 months before xmas. I met this lad who i thought was really nice, and luckily he asked for my number and things went on from there! You can imagine how happy i was when he asked me out and he genuinely liked me! So he started sleeping at mine often, and in the end i lost my v to him ( Early jan). He has always wanted to go in the army so i knew that its what he wants to do, so the other day he told me hes going in a few weeks time!
How devasted was i? so i thought i know we wont make it work but hadnt really had time to talk it through until last night i got a text saying how me and him are not meant to be and he justs want 2 get on with army, he will always love me etc.
Hes a very experienced lad and hes two years older than me, so last night to my complete suprise when i got that message basically i said no need for excuses lets face it you got what you wanted an then ****ed off and you couldnt even tell me to my face etc etc. He didnt reply so today i had time to think about things and thought maybe i was a bit harsh so i sent him message today saying sorry for being a bit harsh hope we can still be friends.
( Dont worry im not going to turn into a stalker, this will be last message i send unless he gets in touch)
So now you can imagine how upset i am! My first true love is completely over and now i really feel lonely and that i liked having a bf so soon i hope i can find someone else yet i feel nobody will be interested! Help me from feeling so ******! :frown:

Do you think he was just using me, was i out of order, was he etc Oh and i also went on pill, should i stop this ?
Sorry for chatting on its just i didnt want to go out tonight so i cant talk to my friends neither !
xxx

Good lad, he'll go far.

Reply 27

Spiral Architect

1

Don't take it personally. There is an unwritten law saying you must join the Army single. If you're lucky he may give you a ring when hes home on leave for a bit of action.

Reply 28

Zymoen

Poica

This wasn't a true love, and you're 16. There are hundreds of other guys out there, and I think you were quite harsh to him. It's a shame that your first relationship came to an end so quickly, but I can easily see things from his point of view, and if you already knew he wanted to be in the army weren't you prepared for this?

It might have been true love, we are not in a position to judge. The point you were probably trying to make would have been better phrased 'it might be true love but because she has nothing to compare it against, it may not be. Only time will tell.'

I can't see things from his point of view because it sounds as though he did use her, but there's lads for you, they think from the trouser.

To the OP, if you feel sad and alone then that's ok. You can't change how you're feeling at the moment no matter how much people tell you there are others out there and that you're very young. If you cared about him then you're hardly going to just forget about him in an instant just because you're only 16 especially as you lost your virginity to him, he must have been special and for that reason your feelings should be respected.

You found love once, don't shut yourself off from the idea that you can find it again, the world is full of really lovely people you haven't met yet.

Reply 29

SamTheMan

17

Poica

Love is always subjective. Stick by the old phrase "If you love someone, you let them go". True love wants whatever is best for that person, and I think you're being selfish in this case. Hence why I don't believe it was a true love.

Well that's a bit of a u-turn... Although that phrase is very nice, if you love someone, you usually want what's best for them. When you feel they're making the wrong decision, it's hard to watch them do that. But quite often, you end up letting them, out of respect, more than anything.

How unlucky am i?

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