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who likes themselves?

I'm having issues with myself. Around 8 years old I started getting sad, then a few years later depressed. I'm 19 now, and up until maybe six months ago I was still suffering from full blown depression. I don't think I'm depressed right now, every once in a while I'm sad, but I'm definately not depressed. I mean, I manage to function in society and do everyday tasks and blah :P

But, I really don't enjoy myself as a person. I don't have a real personality (I don't think I ever managed to develop one, if that makes any sense). I'm boring, and don't do well in conversations. People don't like spending time with me, and I tend to drain people of energy when they do.

Not only do I not have a personality, or anything interesting about me I'm also really plain. So, my looks are boring, bordering (well, more than bordering) on just plain ugly. And I really don't enjoy doing things that involve thinking about myself (like sitting in my room listening to music).

When I think about myself (especially my body, and mind) I get the same feeling that you get when you look at a really old t-shirt that you wouldn't be able to sell at a charity shop because it's too dusty and boring. I'm just weird, boring and ugly basically.

So, how do people enjoy themselves? Does anyone else feel like that?

Reply 1

grace

15

enjoy life. stop focussing on yourself so much, get out there and enjoy the things which do not actually revolve around you. you will have a more positive outlook on life and, consequentially, you will have a more positive outlook on yourself :smile:

Reply 2

cleas001

1

hump your pillow

Reply 3

KerriT

9

I am what I am and I don't care. We had a 6th form common room poll thing about what we didn't like about our bodies and everyone said they hated this and that, my body isn't perfect but it's mine and I don't hate it (admittedly I have hardly anything to hate) but to hear perfectly normal people complaining about their bodies when there are so many more people who would give anything to have that hand you hate or foot etc. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say, I don't see myself as that attractive but other people do, one day you will meet someone who likes you for you. In the meantime try and find the positive things about you and remember that lots of people are worse off.

Reply 4

Eien

16

strange

I'm having issues with myself. Around 8 years old I started getting sad, then a few years later depressed. I'm 19 now, and up until maybe six months ago I was still suffering from full blown depression. I don't think I'm depressed right now, every once in a while I'm sad, but I'm definately not depressed. I mean, I manage to function in society and do everyday tasks and blah :P

But, I really don't enjoy myself as a person. I don't have a real personality (I don't think I ever managed to develop one, if that makes any sense). I'm boring, and don't do well in conversations. People don't like spending time with me, and I tend to drain people of energy when they do.

Not only do I not have a personality, or anything interesting about me I'm also really plain. So, my looks are boring, bordering (well, more than bordering) on just plain ugly. And I really don't enjoy doing things that involve thinking about myself (like sitting in my room listening to music).

When I think about myself (especially my body, and mind) I get the same feeling that you get when you look at a really old t-shirt that you wouldn't be able to sell at a charity shop because it's too dusty and boring. I'm just weird, boring and ugly basically.

So, how do people enjoy themselves? Does anyone else feel like that?

I know your pain, some of the things you said are identical to what I used to say - I used to feel I had no personality - I couldn't define anything special about me. I was always very able academically but I felt I had no personality outside it, and I felt that it was more of a punishment for someone to have a conversation with me. Nobody has (or is) attracted to me, I felt there was something wrong because everyone else seemed to at least be dating, even if they failed, I couldn't even begin to elicit any sliver from attraction from any female, even if I could socialise very well with them. However, things changed - firstly try writing all the positive aspects about yourself - there ARE positives to everyone, really think about it. Then think of friends, why do they like you? Surely there are people who care for you - if you can believe that people will like you - because they can and will, then you will be in a much better frame of mind for socialising. Today I talked to two people I had never met, and I felt elated and so much better about myself, because in the past I would have been so shy and said nothing, continuing the sense of my isolation. Just saying hello and making eye contact with someone can make all the difference. Socialise with people or do something you enjoy so you feel better about yourself. Now I value my own traits, and even though I wish I could be more charismatic, outgoing, etc, I wouldn't want to be anybody else I know, even if I like them a lot - if you can have that feeling, hold onto it and know that you have value.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I understand what KerriT has said but it's hard to feel that way when you hate yourself so much. I despise my body, always have and always will desptie people telling me I am fine the way I am. I used to have a problem with self harming etc. and depression not over my body, that would be a bit extreme but it is something that bothered me. I am gradually trying not to hate myself and not many people know it, I told a few people and they think I am silly for hating myself as they feel I have no reason too. I'm good at putting a front on too, so I appear happy all the time, admitedly though I am the happiest I have been in a long time. To stop being negative, I know I have a lot to offer as a person, and I'm sure you have to the the first annon poster :biggrin:

really. If you don't believe me, sit down, think of everything good about you, ask your friends what they like about you and I am sure they won't pcik up on what you feel you are. You're probably an amazing person who is unfortunatly for you good at picking up and focusing on your negative aspects when really you probably have a lot of positives. You are your own best friend, and I really should take some of my own advice. Really I'm sure you're brilliant chin up, list the positive about yourself and focus on them :hugs:

Reply 6

strange

OP

thanks for the advice everyone :smile:

ergh, it's just, when I'm near other people I'm so aware of my body. I wish I could focus on other things, I do try to. Instead of thinking about my own body and clothes I try to look at other people's and see how they act and show themselves.

Although, someone might see me looking at them and think I'm perving :eek:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

I know its hard, Im not tiny and I'm noy massive but i have really beautiful friends and when i am around them and they get all the attention it makes me feel like ****, i must be doing something right though cause i have a really loving b/f :smile:

still doesnt stop me from feeling how i do. Just focus on you :hugs:

and i'm sure you will be fine

Reply 8

completely random

8

Feel EXACTLY the same...its something you just have to learn to get over in time because it really does put your life on hold. Then, again, thats what depression does to you really. :hugs:

for having the courage to speak out about how you feel though

Reply 9

Angelil

19

I think I'm a bit weird this way. I go from liking myself a lot to not liking myself at all (usually when I start thinking about my schooldays and comparing myself to my sister). There's just no happy medium...

who likes themselves?

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