The Student Room Group

alone at salford uni

im in my second year and i feel so lonely. i only have one university friend who doesnt seem interested in getting closer or growing our friendship. I try to ask her to hang out after university, but she always puts it off and we keep saying we'll make plans outside of university but never do

i commute so it is even more difficult to make friends and also feel like people just keep themselves to themselves and aren't interested in making friends or getting to know new people, which i get because i can be introverted at times too but its hard

people always suggest joining societies but honestly, i had no clue how to join them cause i thought they were only for people who lived on campus until this year but next year is my last year at university, so i kind of feel like there's no point and its a bit too late

i feel like we were always told that at uni we would meet our bestfriends and boyfriends but its really just not it Like, uni is hard enough but uni alone is hell

it's honestly been affecting my mental health like i just needed to rant and wanted to see if others can relate or if im just the issue
You aren’t alone!

I have always struggled to make friends too, but sometimes we need that little push to get us out of our comfort zone.

I know it sounds scary, but if you’re around people in your classes, try to find out what they like and then think of a topic related to that. For example: Person A loves the singer Troye Sivan. To make conversation, listen to one of his songs and then talk to them about it. Simple questions like «Who is your favourite artist?» or «Do you have any hobbies?» is often a good conversation starter because you can always ask «Why do you like _?» and it becomes a discussion.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous #2
You aren’t alone!

I have always struggled to make friends too, but sometimes we need that little push to get us out of our comfort zone.

I know it sounds scary, but if you’re around people in your classes, try to find out what they like and then think of a topic related to that. For example: Person A loves the singer Troye Sivan. To make conversation, listen to one of his songs and then talk to them about it. Simple questions like «Who is your favourite artist?» or «Do you have any hobbies?» is often a good conversation starter because you can always ask «Why do you like _?» and it becomes a discussion.

in my lectures people already have their own groups and friends they hang out with so it just seems harder to butt in and make convo when they only talk amongst themselvesi do try sometimes but it never leads to anything more that just a random convo and also sometimes people are nice but most of the time they're just reserved or lowkey rude like i said people just keep themselves to themselves
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous #2
You aren’t alone!

I have always struggled to make friends too, but sometimes we need that little push to get us out of our comfort zone.

I know it sounds scary, but if you’re around people in your classes, try to find out what they like and then think of a topic related to that. For example: Person A loves the singer Troye Sivan. To make conversation, listen to one of his songs and then talk to them about it. Simple questions like «Who is your favourite artist?» or «Do you have any hobbies?» is often a good conversation starter because you can always ask «Why do you like _?» and it becomes a discussion.

in my lectures people already have their own groups and friends they hang out with so it just seems harder to butt in and make convo when they only talk amongst themselves
i do try sometimes but it never leads to anything more that just a random convo
also sometimes people are nice but most of the time they're just reserved or lowkey rude like i said people just keep themselves to themselves
Original post by Anonymous #1
im in my second year and i feel so lonely. i only have one university friend who doesnt seem interested in getting closer or growing our friendship. I try to ask her to hang out after university, but she always puts it off and we keep saying we'll make plans outside of university but never do

i commute so it is even more difficult to make friends and also feel like people just keep themselves to themselves and aren't interested in making friends or getting to know new people, which i get because i can be introverted at times too but its hard

people always suggest joining societies but honestly, i had no clue how to join them cause i thought they were only for people who lived on campus until this year but next year is my last year at university, so i kind of feel like there's no point and its a bit too late

i feel like we were always told that at uni we would meet our bestfriends and boyfriends but its really just not it Like, uni is hard enough but uni alone is hell

it's honestly been affecting my mental health like i just needed to rant and wanted to see if others can relate or if im just the issue

It's absolutely not too late to join societies! I'm a third year and joined a few new ones this term and have already made some great friends from them. Best case scenario you get to make some friends, but even worst case scenario you get a bit of social interaction and get to do something you enjoy (if you pick societies related to your interests) so it's a good idea regardless.

I also find it's a lot easier to meet new people in societies, since people go to events expecting people they don't know to be there and be part of the activity with them - it can be much harder in lectures where people aren't necessarily expecting to be meeting people/making friends, as it seems you've found.
Original post by Anonymous #1
im in my second year and i feel so lonely. i only have one university friend who doesnt seem interested in getting closer or growing our friendship. I try to ask her to hang out after university, but she always puts it off and we keep saying we'll make plans outside of university but never do

i commute so it is even more difficult to make friends and also feel like people just keep themselves to themselves and aren't interested in making friends or getting to know new people, which i get because i can be introverted at times too but its hard

people always suggest joining societies but honestly, i had no clue how to join them cause i thought they were only for people who lived on campus until this year but next year is my last year at university, so i kind of feel like there's no point and its a bit too late

i feel like we were always told that at uni we would meet our bestfriends and boyfriends but its really just not it Like, uni is hard enough but uni alone is hell

it's honestly been affecting my mental health like i just needed to rant and wanted to see if others can relate or if im just the issue

Hi there,

I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way at university. Please know that you’re absolutely not alone, there are lots of students who are feeling exactly the same way as you University can be tough!

I would really encourage you to speak to a member of our askUS team who are there to support you on whatever level you need in ways that suit you and make sure you’re able to enjoy your uni life to the best of your ability, no matter what your circumstances. They are based in University House on the Peel Park Campus, and on the Media City Campus. They’re available at the following times:
·University House: 08:00 17:00
·Media City: 10:00 16:00

You can also call them on 0161 295 0023 if you prefer at the following times:
· Monday to Thursday: 08:00 20:00
·Friday 08:00 17:00
·Saturday 12:00 18:00

Their email is [email protected] and more information about askUs is on their section of our website: https://testlivesalfordac.sharepoint.com/sites/Uos_Students/SitePages/askUS.aspx?csf=1&e=DrNKEn

Wellbeing and counselling support is also available to all students, which you can access either using our website or by speaking to the askUS team who will be able to put you in touch. The different ways to access this support can be found here: https://www.salford.ac.uk/askus/topics/wellbeing-and-counselling

*We also work with the Student CareFirst phoneline, who provide free and confidential counselling over the phone. Their number is 0800 970 1080 and more information is available here: https://testlivesalfordac.sharepoint.com/sites/Uos_Students/SitePages/You-can-now-get-free,-confidential-counselling-through-Student-CareFirst.aspx

It's also never too late to join societies - there are new people joining them all the time, so you won’t be the only new face around. There’s a Student’s Union helpdesk that is also located in University House, and that would be a great starting point if you have no idea where to begin. You can tell them which societies you’re interested in joining and they’ll be able to help you get involved 😊

Finally, we have Commuter Hubs on campus which are spaces for students like yourself who commute in and need a space to stay on campus between classes. This could be a great way to meet other students in a similar situation. Our two common rooms can be found in University House on the Peel Park campus and Allerton Building on Frederick Road campus. As well as space to relax, they also have all the extras to hep make life easier for you like kitchen areas, charging points and lockers.

I do hope this helps and that you start to feel a bit better soon. I know it can be daunting putting yourself out there, whether it’s joining a society or asking for support, but everyone at the university wants you to succeed and will be happy to help in any way that they can.

Jonny
University of Salford Rep.
(edited 2 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous #1
im in my second year and i feel so lonely. i only have one university friend who doesnt seem interested in getting closer or growing our friendship. I try to ask her to hang out after university, but she always puts it off and we keep saying we'll make plans outside of university but never do

i commute so it is even more difficult to make friends and also feel like people just keep themselves to themselves and aren't interested in making friends or getting to know new people, which i get because i can be introverted at times too but its hard

people always suggest joining societies but honestly, i had no clue how to join them cause i thought they were only for people who lived on campus until this year but next year is my last year at university, so i kind of feel like there's no point and its a bit too late

i feel like we were always told that at uni we would meet our bestfriends and boyfriends but its really just not it Like, uni is hard enough but uni alone is hell

it's honestly been affecting my mental health like i just needed to rant and wanted to see if others can relate or if im just the issue

Hello!

Firstly, you are not alone! Truly! There is someone for you! Please do join societies, it is never ever too late to join, join in your third year, gravitate towards your favourite activities, either that be sports or music etc. you will find your friends, there will be people who also have the same interests as you! Strike up conversations at bus stops, on nights out, at bookstores! Places where you feel comfortable! It’s never too late!

I hope it all works out for you! 😉

Hassa, Liverpool Hope University Student Ambassador.
Original post by Anonymous #1
im in my second year and i feel so lonely. i only have one university friend who doesnt seem interested in getting closer or growing our friendship. I try to ask her to hang out after university, but she always puts it off and we keep saying we'll make plans outside of university but never do

i commute so it is even more difficult to make friends and also feel like people just keep themselves to themselves and aren't interested in making friends or getting to know new people, which i get because i can be introverted at times too but its hard

people always suggest joining societies but honestly, i had no clue how to join them cause i thought they were only for people who lived on campus until this year but next year is my last year at university, so i kind of feel like there's no point and its a bit too late

i feel like we were always told that at uni we would meet our bestfriends and boyfriends but its really just not it Like, uni is hard enough but uni alone is hell

it's honestly been affecting my mental health like i just needed to rant and wanted to see if others can relate or if im just the issue

Hi there

I am sorry to hear you are feeling upset. I know that making friends in University is difficult, especially for more introverted people. (I was in a similar position to you, and did not start making good connections until second year of University.) I also know that a lot of my friends also had similarly experiences.

Do not be too upset about this university friend who is not particularly responsive. Although it can be discouraging, it does not affect your ability to befriend other people at all.

I understand that commuting can make the experience difficult, perhaps you could consider studying in the library on days that you come to University. This would give you a chance to meet new people. :smile: I agree that joining societies is a really good way to meet people, although it can be hard to start up a conversation, there are always people who are willing to make new friends too. You may also like to consider talking to those in the same class as you.

In my opinion, it is quite a myth that you will meet your best friends, or boyfriends. (At least it has not occurred for most people that I know) Everybody's University experience differs, so there is no need to compare your experience with others. Don't be too harsh on yourself. :smile:

I understand the impact of loneliness at University, well done for coming so far already! You are doing great! I would recommend speaking to your Uni's support and wellbeing team for some help? (I did not start using these services until third year, and I could not recommend them more). They often host individual sessions, or they may even host group wellbeing sessions, this may give you a chance to meet people in a similar position as you.

On a side note, perhaps your student union organises things such as coffee/ walking buddies, where the University pairs you with another student? You could always give these a try. I know University may seem difficult right now, but keep going and know that help is always available should you need it. I am sure you will find a group of friends soon!

All the best.
I hope this helps
Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep

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