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My boyfriend ALWAYS stares at other girls.
Ok before you read this and think I'm a psycho basically I adore my boyfriend, he's lovely, apart from this one thing I couldn't wish for a better boyfriend. I understand he will find other girls attractive and he will look, but he does more than this, say we're out for a meal or something and there's a pretty waitress, he'll fill on stare every time she goes past, not just a look and he makes it so obvious also. I have spoke to him about it and the first time he said he'd stop. He did it a couple more times and I eventually spoke to him about it again and he said it wouldn't happen again but then yesterday it did happen again 
I find it disrespectful when its in front of me like that, if he was alone or with friends he can do it as much as he likes but in front of me it makes me feel like I'm not good enough what can I do?
I find it disrespectful when its in front of me like that, if he was alone or with friends he can do it as much as he likes but in front of me it makes me feel like I'm not good enough what can I do?Scroll to see replies
Bump?
Original post by PinkyQT
Maybe he can't help it.
Self control?
I don't see the issue with looking at other girls.
Before you say 'I asked him not to and he'd stop if he loved me', think from his perspective 'If she loved me and was confident our relationship was strong, she'd let me look'
It's unreasonable to expect someone to overcome a completely natural biological reflex.
Would you prefer it if he was more discreet? If so it's the same "problem", but now he's hiding it from you too - surely that is worse?
Before you say 'I asked him not to and he'd stop if he loved me', think from his perspective 'If she loved me and was confident our relationship was strong, she'd let me look'
It's unreasonable to expect someone to overcome a completely natural biological reflex.
Would you prefer it if he was more discreet? If so it's the same "problem", but now he's hiding it from you too - surely that is worse?
(edited 11 years ago)
All guys tend to stare when a pretty girl walks past, but doing it so obvious in front of you, yeah, it's say it's rather disrespectful, especially after you've told him that offends you! I think if that happens literally all the time, you actually should make a big deal out of it so that he can understand just how offending that is to you, I reckon he hasn't got that part quite right.
If it only happens every once in a while though, it's just something normal. Men just stare and there are and always will be better-looking girls than you, I bet you stare when a cute guys passes by, don't you? But you're still with your bf because of the lovely person you said he was
If it only happens every once in a while though, it's just something normal. Men just stare and there are and always will be better-looking girls than you, I bet you stare when a cute guys passes by, don't you? But you're still with your bf because of the lovely person you said he was
(edited 11 years ago)
Sounds like he doesn't appreciate you as much as he should. If he really liked you that much then he wouldn't be eye-raping other girls. I wouldn't be surprised if he's just keeping you as a back-up until he (or if he) finds another girl that he finds more attractive than you. But you will put up with it and continue to torture yourself in this kind of relationship.
Original post by OMGWTFBBQ
I don't see the issue with looking at other girls.
Before you say 'I asked him not to and he'd stop if he loved me', think from his perspective 'If she loved me and was confident our relationship was strong, she'd let me look'
Before you say 'I asked him not to and he'd stop if he loved me', think from his perspective 'If she loved me and was confident our relationship was strong, she'd let me look'
I have no issue with looking, I understand he'll find other girls attractive and it's not as if I'm asking him to never look at another girl again and keep his eyes on the ground everywhere we go. I just want him to stop staring in front of me and making it so obvious.
Original post by Anonymous
Self control?
True. Your bf is an idiot.
Original post by Anonymous
Ok before you read this and think I'm a psycho basically I adore my boyfriend, he's lovely, apart from this one thing I couldn't wish for a better boyfriend. I understand he will find other girls attractive and he will look, but he does more than this, say we're out for a meal or something and there's a pretty waitress, he'll fill on stare every time she goes past, not just a look and he makes it so obvious also. I have spoke to him about it and the first time he said he'd stop. He did it a couple more times and I eventually spoke to him about it again and he said it wouldn't happen again but then yesterday it did happen again I find it disrespectful when its in front of me like that, if he was alone or with friends he can do it as much as he likes but in front of me it makes me feel like I'm not good enough what can I do?
I find it disrespectful when its in front of me like that, if he was alone or with friends he can do it as much as he likes but in front of me it makes me feel like I'm not good enough what can I do?When there's better "Pussycats" around you don't want to miss your chance of getting 1st prize
This post misuses the anonymous function.
Before posting as anonymous please read the H&R guidelines here.
(edited 11 years ago)
Could be worse, at least his mushroom tip isn't inside them.
Though judging by what you've said it probably will be soon
Though judging by what you've said it probably will be soon
Original post by Stanley90
It's disrespectful in the first place without even being told. And like you said, it's even more disrespectful now that he's been told because it means he's not considerate towards her feelings in this particular issue, i.e. he prefers 5 second eye candy at the expense of his girl friend getting upset, which is very selfish.
You might be secure enough to let your bf/gf gawk at others whilst you're talking to them but I don't think there's a problem with feeling upset by it, in fact it's probably more normal to feel insecure/upset that you're not good enough.
You might be secure enough to let your bf/gf gawk at others whilst you're talking to them but I don't think there's a problem with feeling upset by it, in fact it's probably more normal to feel insecure/upset that you're not good enough.
I doubt he does it conciously, he probably doesn't even realise he's doing it.
Original post by Stanley90
What are you looking for here? You said he still does it even after you've warned him so the ball's in your court. Do all his other characteristics overshadow this allowing you to overlook this flaw or does it make you feel so **** that his good traits don't really matter? You decide.
This.
Everyone naturally does that, but your Boyfriend needs self-control! I mean, imagine it the other way around .. I am pretty sure your boyfriend would be PO'd if you were eyeing up other guys around him.
If my girlfriend did I'd feel dreadful ... I don't mind that she finds other guys attractive, I don't care if she checks a guy out, but in front of me? **** off.
If my girlfriend did I'd feel dreadful ... I don't mind that she finds other guys attractive, I don't care if she checks a guy out, but in front of me? **** off.
offer a threesome
Original post by Anonymous
Ok before you read this and think I'm a psycho basically I adore my boyfriend, he's lovely, apart from this one thing I couldn't wish for a better boyfriend. I understand he will find other girls attractive and he will look, but he does more than this, say we're out for a meal or something and there's a pretty waitress, he'll fill on stare every time she goes past, not just a look and he makes it so obvious also. I have spoke to him about it and the first time he said he'd stop. He did it a couple more times and I eventually spoke to him about it again and he said it wouldn't happen again but then yesterday it did happen again I find it disrespectful when its in front of me like that, if he was alone or with friends he can do it as much as he likes but in front of me it makes me feel like I'm not good enough what can I do?
I find it disrespectful when its in front of me like that, if he was alone or with friends he can do it as much as he likes but in front of me it makes me feel like I'm not good enough what can I do?when you walk past a shop and see for example a bag in the window even though you like your bag i bet you still have a look at the bag in the window
Original post by OMGWTFBBQ
I don't see the issue with looking at other girls.
Before you say 'I asked him not to and he'd stop if he loved me', think from his perspective 'If she loved me and was confident our relationship was strong, she'd let me look'
Before you say 'I asked him not to and he'd stop if he loved me', think from his perspective 'If she loved me and was confident our relationship was strong, she'd let me look'
If relationship is so strong and she loves me and i love her, why the need to stare at other girls.
thats weird because the only reason your staring is because attracted towards the girls your staring at and your looking at them in a sexual way. especially infront of your partner, if your relationship is so strong and trust is not an issue and you love each other you dont KEEP ON STARING AT GIRLS CONSTANTLY AND ESPECIALLY INFRONT OF YOUR PARTNER as you know that hurts them.
I think he's trying to get rid of you but doesn't have the balls to end it properly. Looking around is a sign of not wanting to be where he is (near you).
Sorry
Sorry
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