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My girlfriend gets raped and tortured in her dreams

My girlfriend has been having nightmares for a long time now, in which men rape/hurt/torture her and its having a serious effect. Its causing her to lose sleep which affects her school work, health and sometimes even our relationship when it comes to things like sex (she's scared I'll hurt her like in her nightmares). We don't live together so sometimes I'll get texts at like 4 or 5 in the morning where she's woken up in a hysterical state and tried to contact me. Has anyone got any advice that I can share with her, or advice for me on how to deal with this within a relationship? Thanks.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 1

ProfessorPester

9

It's possibly just Freddy Krueger.

Reply 2

Robbie242

Original post by Snorrrlax

My girlfriend has been having nightmares for a long time now, in which men rape/hurt/torture her and its having a serious effect. Its causing her to lose sleep which affects her school work, health and sometimes even our relationship when it comes to things like sex (she's scared I'll hurt her like in her nightmares). We don't live together so sometimes I'll get texts at like 4 or 5 in the morning where she's woken up in a hysterical state and tried to contact me. Has anyone got any advice that I can share with her, or advice for me on how to deal with this within a relationship? Thanks.

That really sucks, Perhaps a therapist or something to explore her mind and get rids of these thoughts, or she can just remember the fact that shes not getting raped its just a dream.

Reply 3

Wonder-Woman

10

Original post by ProfessorPester

It's possibly just Freddy Krueger.

Ah that's scary :eek:

Reply 4

danny111

3

Was she raped in the past and her mind blocked out the memory but in her dreams its coming back? Maybe I've seen too much Criminal Minds but just something I thought off.

I would definitely get her to talk to a professional about this. Doesn't sound healthy at all and if it is starting to bother her with her normal life it should be dealt with.

Reply 5

Snorrrlax

OP

7

Original post by ProfessorPester

It's possibly just Freddy Krueger.

Original post by Wonder-Woman

Ah that's scary :eek:

I'm planning on showing this thread to my girlfriend, so if you could cut out the bull****, that'd be great.

Reply 6

Elm Tree

13

Tell her to stop thinking about the dreams before she goes to sleep. We tend to dream about the last things we think about...

Reply 7

Wonder-Woman

10

I think if it's gotten to a point where it's affecting her everyday life then maybe she should visit her GP and see if he can refer her to someone who may be able to help.

I know it might sound silly but maybe some relaxation techniques before sleeping will help. I've just Googled it and they have some pretty reasonable sounding ideas. Hope her nightmares stop x

Reply 8

danny111

3

Original post by Snorrrlax

I'm planning on showing this thread to my girlfriend, so if you could cut out the bull****, that'd be great.

You have a lot to learn about the internet.

Don't show her the thread, just copy and paste the useful posts and show her those.

Reply 9

ipoop

5

She needs therapy my man. There's really nothing you can do.

Reply 10

Amelia-Babe

7

try some relaxation techniques, sing to her when she sleeps, drink warm milk(gives me a lovely sleep) or maybe sleep on your right and not on your tummy or on your left[heard that it helps keep away bad omens], keep her room simple ie no mirrors, and also no bad thoughts before she goes sleep, just be calm and happy. Ps try not to talk about bad dreams, cos thats when it affects you the most and keeps you scared. Not talking about it will give it less power. PSS - tell her it's only a dream, it can never come true, always be cautious going out though, Good Luck x

Reply 11

King Leonidas

21

Original post by Elm Tree

Tell her to stop thinking about the dreams before she goes to sleep. We tend to dream about the last things we think about...

Well that is a load of tripe because if that were the case then loads of men would have sex dreams every night, which we do not.

OP I cannot suggest any professional advice however, perhaps she just needs you in bed with her to make her feel safe? A cuddle before bed or even a chat might calm down any triggers of her nightmares?

Reply 12

King Leonidas

21

Original post by Snorrrlax

My girlfriend has been having nightmares for a long time now, in which men rape/hurt/torture her and its having a serious effect. Its causing her to lose sleep which affects her school work, health and sometimes even our relationship when it comes to things like sex (she's scared I'll hurt her like in her nightmares). We don't live together so sometimes I'll get texts at like 4 or 5 in the morning where she's woken up in a hysterical state and tried to contact me. Has anyone got any advice that I can share with her, or advice for me on how to deal with this within a relationship? Thanks.

Also if you're going to show this thread to your girlfriend then I suggest you ask a mod (in the ask a mod forum) to clean this thread out and remove all the bull**** comments.

Reply 13

King Leonidas

21

Original post by danny111

You have a lot to learn about the internet.

Don't show her the thread, just copy and paste the useful posts and show her those.

He shouldn't have to do that if the mods do their job properly and remove the unhelpful comments.

Reply 14

Halogenation

Sounds like she was raped in the past if you ask me

Reply 15

The_Internet

20

Original post by Baines3

A good boyfriend would make his girlfriends dream come true..

What the OP's gf is having are not dreams, but nightmares. Have a heart why don't you, and you're asking the OP to make these dreams come true for someone they love?

To the OP, I don't really know what to say, but only to re-iterate what every one else said and to seek some professional advice

Maybe your gf is subconsciously or consciously anxious or afraid of men she doesn't know? - Not trying to insinuate any thing, but your subconscious can be a very powerful thing

Reply 16

J.Nalbandian14

16

Have you heard of Psychoanalysis?

Send her to her GP.

Original post by Snorrrlax

You'd clearly make such a great boyfriend... I'm not giving up on her because she's worth it and I want to help her, as cheesey as that sounds.

Sleep at her house for comfort and stuff?

Reply 19

MutantGecko

12

Original post by Snorrrlax

....

i have horrific dreams too, so as for waking up at 4am in hysterics, i can totally relate, mine dont involve rape though, mine are usually ****ed up **** like cooking flour pouring out of my eyes...

the only thing iv found to help is sleeping with the light on as waking up in light is much less scary than in the dark.

unfortunately she will probably just have to get used to the dreams, the irony is when she gets used to them and doesnt let them bother her (i know i made it sound too easy, but things will get easier in time) she will probably stop having them, as she probably has them now because so much of her day time thoughts are taken up by what she experienced in her dream the night before. (if that makes sense)

edit: thought id add to that last point, iv always had weird dreams, but the really over the top horrific stuff started after i had a really bad trip, havnt tripped at all since but every day i think back to the terror i felt. i imagine she feels similar about the dreams, she probably had one once because she thought about the topic of rape at some point, and it terrified her so much its always on her mind. its just about getting used to it and distracting yourself unfortunately.

(edited 11 years ago)

My girlfriend gets raped and tortured in her dreams

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