Catholic girl in love with Muslim
I've recently been talking to a Muslim guy and we've been seeing eachother for the past few weeks now and getting closer and closer.
I feel like our relationship is doomed however for a number of reasons.
First of all, I go to university in London and he *used* to go there too, he actually got kicked out last year, but his parents don't know so he travels down from up north every week for a couple of days pretending to go to university, when really he sees me after lectures. So that is issue no1.
How he is going to tell his parents, I do not know! He's meant to be 'graduating' this year, so... no idea how that is going to pan out. I know what he is doing is a bad idea, but I have no control over that.
Second of all, he is Muslim and I am Catholic. His parents are strict Muslim too, by the sounds of it. Apparently his parents wouldn't like if we were to ever get together. The problem is, I am really starting to like him a lot. Even considering converting, but I have no idea. My head's in a bit of a mess right now. Also, the distance would be a big problem. His excuse won't last forever and I finish university myself this year.
Can anyone give me some advice? Please don't take the p****
Thank you
I feel like our relationship is doomed however for a number of reasons.
First of all, I go to university in London and he *used* to go there too, he actually got kicked out last year, but his parents don't know so he travels down from up north every week for a couple of days pretending to go to university, when really he sees me after lectures. So that is issue no1.
How he is going to tell his parents, I do not know! He's meant to be 'graduating' this year, so... no idea how that is going to pan out. I know what he is doing is a bad idea, but I have no control over that.
Second of all, he is Muslim and I am Catholic. His parents are strict Muslim too, by the sounds of it. Apparently his parents wouldn't like if we were to ever get together. The problem is, I am really starting to like him a lot. Even considering converting, but I have no idea. My head's in a bit of a mess right now. Also, the distance would be a big problem. His excuse won't last forever and I finish university myself this year.
Can anyone give me some advice? Please don't take the p****
Thank you
This isn't love. Get yourself a nice boy. You're better than this. Especially since he got kicked out from university (Met?).
Love, there are DEFINITELY better fish out there for you. Don't settle for a fanfin seadevil.
Love, there are DEFINITELY better fish out there for you. Don't settle for a fanfin seadevil.
Original post by Anonymous
I've recently been talking to a Muslim guy and we've been seeing eachother for the past few weeks now and getting closer and closer.
I feel like our relationship is doomed however for a number of reasons.
First of all, I go to university in London and he *used* to go there too, he actually got kicked out last year, but his parents don't know so he travels down from up north every week for a couple of days pretending to go to university, when really he sees me after lectures. So that is issue no1.
How he is going to tell his parents, I do not know! He's meant to be 'graduating' this year, so... no idea how that is going to pan out. I know what he is doing is a bad idea, but I have no control over that.
I feel like our relationship is doomed however for a number of reasons.
First of all, I go to university in London and he *used* to go there too, he actually got kicked out last year, but his parents don't know so he travels down from up north every week for a couple of days pretending to go to university, when really he sees me after lectures. So that is issue no1.
How he is going to tell his parents, I do not know! He's meant to be 'graduating' this year, so... no idea how that is going to pan out. I know what he is doing is a bad idea, but I have no control over that.
Religion is the least of your worries
Why would you get involved with someone who
•
Got kicked out of uni
•
Is too scared of his parents to tell them
•
Lies to his family on a daily basis
In my opinion, I know islam says you must convert to be married but surely, if you feel strongly enough to be catholic then he should compromise as well. Have you spoken to him if he wants you to convert? To be honest, I'd like to know more about if you two believe strongly in your religion first and foremost. I am in no position to judge, but it seems that he doesn't value his parents opinions too much if he hasn't told them about dropping out of university.
And I think he should know just how serious you are about him, or else he might do something he could potentially regret.
And I think he should know just how serious you are about him, or else he might do something he could potentially regret.
Original post by TenOfThem
Religion is the least of your worries
Why would you get involved with someone who
Why would you get involved with someone who
•
Got kicked out of uni
•
Is too scared of his parents to tell them
•
Lies to his family on a daily basis
This.
Issue 1 - i really can't help you with that
issue 2 - its not islam that has a problem with Muslim Men marrying 'true' christian/jewish women (not those that just call themselves christian/jew), it is usually culture, so it depends on where their from. Allah says in the Quran:
(Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the people of the book. (al-Maidah, 5).
so he could convince his family through Islam (if you meet the criteria of being a practicing, and modest christian women).
With regards to converting, i would pick up a translation of the quran some other literature aimed at non-muslims and read it - many women marry muslim men, get divorced but convert to islam when they learn more about the religion from authentic islamic sources.
Many muslim parents would love to see their son marrying a women and helping her convert from the bottom of her heart. And his family may be the same.
Here are a few interesting articles about non-muslim women and islam:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1324039/Like-Lauren-Booth-ARE-modern-British-career-women-converting-Islam.html (- this one is great talks about non muslim marrying muslim man)
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/4769410/Meet-four-women-who-have-converted-to-Islam.html
issue 2 - its not islam that has a problem with Muslim Men marrying 'true' christian/jewish women (not those that just call themselves christian/jew), it is usually culture, so it depends on where their from. Allah says in the Quran:
(Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the people of the book. (al-Maidah, 5).
so he could convince his family through Islam (if you meet the criteria of being a practicing, and modest christian women).
With regards to converting, i would pick up a translation of the quran some other literature aimed at non-muslims and read it - many women marry muslim men, get divorced but convert to islam when they learn more about the religion from authentic islamic sources.
Many muslim parents would love to see their son marrying a women and helping her convert from the bottom of her heart. And his family may be the same.
Here are a few interesting articles about non-muslim women and islam:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1324039/Like-Lauren-Booth-ARE-modern-British-career-women-converting-Islam.html (- this one is great talks about non muslim marrying muslim man)
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/4769410/Meet-four-women-who-have-converted-to-Islam.html
Religion aside, just from your post it sounds like you're taking a big risk based on his character alone. Religiously speaking though;
- You shouldn't revert to Islam if you are only going to do it for a man. Because you wouldn't actually believe in it, you'd be a hypocrite, which isn't something that Islam/Muslims would appreciate. Having said that, I would always insist you research and learn about it with sincere motives.
- He doesn't sound like a good Muslim if he's seeing you [dating is a sin] and being dishonest [lying] with his parents.
- Let's just say that he one day "changes his ways and becomes a practicing/religious Muslim" (you'd be suprised at how often this scenario happens). You wouldn't be able to see him unless he was willing to marry you [you don't have to convert to marry him].
In conclusion, this is bound to end up bad, so for your own good, I'd recommend you move on.
Why would God introduce a religion to humanity that "isn't for everyone"? I'm just saying, your words aren't really inline with Islamic thought.
- You shouldn't revert to Islam if you are only going to do it for a man. Because you wouldn't actually believe in it, you'd be a hypocrite, which isn't something that Islam/Muslims would appreciate. Having said that, I would always insist you research and learn about it with sincere motives.
- He doesn't sound like a good Muslim if he's seeing you [dating is a sin] and being dishonest [lying] with his parents.
- Let's just say that he one day "changes his ways and becomes a practicing/religious Muslim" (you'd be suprised at how often this scenario happens). You wouldn't be able to see him unless he was willing to marry you [you don't have to convert to marry him].
In conclusion, this is bound to end up bad, so for your own good, I'd recommend you move on.
Original post by yas95
Islam isn't for everyone (and that's coming from a Muslim).
Why would God introduce a religion to humanity that "isn't for everyone"? I'm just saying, your words aren't really inline with Islamic thought.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I've recently been talking to a Muslim guy and we've been seeing eachother for the past few weeks now and getting closer and closer.
I feel like our relationship is doomed however for a number of reasons.
First of all, I go to university in London and he *used* to go there too, he actually got kicked out last year, but his parents don't know so he travels down from up north every week for a couple of days pretending to go to university, when really he sees me after lectures. So that is issue no1.
How he is going to tell his parents, I do not know! He's meant to be 'graduating' this year, so... no idea how that is going to pan out. I know what he is doing is a bad idea, but I have no control over that.
Second of all, he is Muslim and I am Catholic. His parents are strict Muslim too, by the sounds of it. Apparently his parents wouldn't like if we were to ever get together. The problem is, I am really starting to like him a lot. Even considering converting, but I have no idea. My head's in a bit of a mess right now. Also, the distance would be a big problem. His excuse won't last forever and I finish university myself this year.
Can anyone give me some advice? Please don't take the p****
Thank you
I feel like our relationship is doomed however for a number of reasons.
First of all, I go to university in London and he *used* to go there too, he actually got kicked out last year, but his parents don't know so he travels down from up north every week for a couple of days pretending to go to university, when really he sees me after lectures. So that is issue no1.
How he is going to tell his parents, I do not know! He's meant to be 'graduating' this year, so... no idea how that is going to pan out. I know what he is doing is a bad idea, but I have no control over that.
Second of all, he is Muslim and I am Catholic. His parents are strict Muslim too, by the sounds of it. Apparently his parents wouldn't like if we were to ever get together. The problem is, I am really starting to like him a lot. Even considering converting, but I have no idea. My head's in a bit of a mess right now. Also, the distance would be a big problem. His excuse won't last forever and I finish university myself this year.
Can anyone give me some advice? Please don't take the p****
Thank you
Noo don't convert! Nothing against Islam, but converting to any religion for a relationship that may or may not last is not very wise?
The thing is, is he strict or is it his parents? If he is moderate and so are you, then religion should not be an issue.
As for the uni-thing, that's between him and his parents? Nothing you can do about it?
Thank you everyone for your replies.
I've taken all of your comments on board and I've decided that maybe it's for the best that we don't see eachother. I do really like him, but he seems to adopt many of the religious views that I think stem from his parents. I know he probably isn't the 'best Muslim' in terms of what people have commented on like; lying to his parents, seeing me (we're not exactly dating, but yeah) and other things that he does... but deep down, I do think he is pretty strong in his religious views.
I've taken all of your comments on board and I've decided that maybe it's for the best that we don't see eachother. I do really like him, but he seems to adopt many of the religious views that I think stem from his parents. I know he probably isn't the 'best Muslim' in terms of what people have commented on like; lying to his parents, seeing me (we're not exactly dating, but yeah) and other things that he does... but deep down, I do think he is pretty strong in his religious views.
Original post by Perseveranze
Religion aside, just from your post it sounds like you're taking a big risk based on his character alone. Religiously speaking though;
- You shouldn't revert to Islam if you are only going to do it for a man. Because you wouldn't actually believe in it, you'd be a hypocrite, which isn't something that Islam/Muslims would appreciate.
- He doesn't sound like a good Muslim if he's seeing you [dating is a sin] and being dishonest [lying] with his parents.
- Let's just say that he one day "changes his ways and becomes a practicing/religious Muslim" (you'd be suprised at how often this scenario happens). You wouldn't be able to see him unless he was willing to marry you [you don't have to convert to marry him].
In conclusion, this is bound to end up bad, so for your own good, I'd recommend you move on.
Why would God introduce a religion to humanity that "isn't for everyone"? I'm just saying, your words aren't really inline with Islamic thought.
- You shouldn't revert to Islam if you are only going to do it for a man. Because you wouldn't actually believe in it, you'd be a hypocrite, which isn't something that Islam/Muslims would appreciate.
- He doesn't sound like a good Muslim if he's seeing you [dating is a sin] and being dishonest [lying] with his parents.
- Let's just say that he one day "changes his ways and becomes a practicing/religious Muslim" (you'd be suprised at how often this scenario happens). You wouldn't be able to see him unless he was willing to marry you [you don't have to convert to marry him].
In conclusion, this is bound to end up bad, so for your own good, I'd recommend you move on.
Why would God introduce a religion to humanity that "isn't for everyone"? I'm just saying, your words aren't really inline with Islamic thought.
Sound advice.
Original post by Perseveranze
Religion aside, just from your post it sounds like you're taking a big risk based on his character alone. Religiously speaking though;
- You shouldn't revert to Islam if you are only going to do it for a man. Because you wouldn't actually believe in it, you'd be a hypocrite, which isn't something that Islam/Muslims would appreciate.
- He doesn't sound like a good Muslim if he's seeing you [dating is a sin] and being dishonest [lying] with his parents.
- Let's just say that he one day "changes his ways and becomes a practicing/religious Muslim" (you'd be suprised at how often this scenario happens). You wouldn't be able to see him unless he was willing to marry you [you don't have to convert to marry him].
In conclusion, this is bound to end up bad, so for your own good, I'd recommend you move on.
Why would God introduce a religion to humanity that "isn't for everyone"? I'm just saying, your words aren't really inline with Islamic thought.
- You shouldn't revert to Islam if you are only going to do it for a man. Because you wouldn't actually believe in it, you'd be a hypocrite, which isn't something that Islam/Muslims would appreciate.
- He doesn't sound like a good Muslim if he's seeing you [dating is a sin] and being dishonest [lying] with his parents.
- Let's just say that he one day "changes his ways and becomes a practicing/religious Muslim" (you'd be suprised at how often this scenario happens). You wouldn't be able to see him unless he was willing to marry you [you don't have to convert to marry him].
In conclusion, this is bound to end up bad, so for your own good, I'd recommend you move on.
Why would God introduce a religion to humanity that "isn't for everyone"? I'm just saying, your words aren't really inline with Islamic thought.
This.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
I've recently been talking to a Muslim guy and we've been seeing eachother for the past few weeks now and getting closer and closer.
I feel like our relationship is doomed however for a number of reasons.
First of all, I go to university in London and he *used* to go there too, he actually got kicked out last year, but his parents don't know so he travels down from up north every week for a couple of days pretending to go to university, when really he sees me after lectures. So that is issue no1.
How he is going to tell his parents, I do not know! He's meant to be 'graduating' this year, so... no idea how that is going to pan out. I know what he is doing is a bad idea, but I have no control over that.
Second of all, he is Muslim and I am Catholic. His parents are strict Muslim too, by the sounds of it. Apparently his parents wouldn't like if we were to ever get together. The problem is, I am really starting to like him a lot. Even considering converting, but I have no idea. My head's in a bit of a mess right now. Also, the distance would be a big problem. His excuse won't last forever and I finish university myself this year.
Can anyone give me some advice? Please don't take the p****
Thank you
I feel like our relationship is doomed however for a number of reasons.
First of all, I go to university in London and he *used* to go there too, he actually got kicked out last year, but his parents don't know so he travels down from up north every week for a couple of days pretending to go to university, when really he sees me after lectures. So that is issue no1.
How he is going to tell his parents, I do not know! He's meant to be 'graduating' this year, so... no idea how that is going to pan out. I know what he is doing is a bad idea, but I have no control over that.
Second of all, he is Muslim and I am Catholic. His parents are strict Muslim too, by the sounds of it. Apparently his parents wouldn't like if we were to ever get together. The problem is, I am really starting to like him a lot. Even considering converting, but I have no idea. My head's in a bit of a mess right now. Also, the distance would be a big problem. His excuse won't last forever and I finish university myself this year.
Can anyone give me some advice? Please don't take the p****
Thank you
I was just going to say that it is awkward especially later on in life to have boyfriend/spouse that is of a different faith especially with children. However there do seem to be much bigger problems as in unless there was any reason why he didn't deserve to be kicked out and he is generally really scared of telling his parents anything (and it's not just that he doesn't like them or wants to deceive them), that I think you should be wary of.
Basically do you think that the things that you like about him outweigh the bad things?
IMVHO, the answer is no.
Edit: Forgot to say DON'T CONVERT!
(edited 10 years ago)
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