The Student Room Group

Does religion matter

I'm hoping people on here will give me an honest answer to something. Please speak your mind, don't worry about offending me or anything!

Basically I'm Jewish, but not particularly religious. I believe it I suppose, but I don't strictly follow it. I mean I'm not going to win Rabbi of the year lol.

I've had a couple of girls now that I've asked out, and they've said no. Both said the same thing (I like you but I'm not sure I feel that way about you).

I'm just wondering if the Jewish thing is putting them off. I get the impression when I tell people that I'm Jewish that they think that means I come from a really strict family. I've had people online ask if it means I'm not allowed to have girlfriends or drink alcohol, or go to parties. They seem to think that if you follow a religion other than Christianity it means you're some sort of devout pilgrim. There are just as many half arsed Jews as there are half arsed Christians.
I'm just a normal lad, going to a normal school, I like football, play Cricket, like beer whenever I can lol.

I understand why they wouldn't want to go out with me if they thought I came from a strict family, because even I wouldn't want to go out with someone from a religious family.

Would it put you off? If someone told you they were Jewish would it make you think they were very religious and wouldn't be fun?
I once dated a Muslim chick. She was like you, referred to herself as Muslim but wasn't really strict about it per se. Didn't pray, didn't wear hijab etc etc.

In the beginning it didn't matter because - like I said- she wasn't strict about it. If she was then that would have been a problem considering I'm not of her faith.

So to answer your question, it depends entirely on the person. Some are okay with it, others not so much. I suppose their family being religious could serve as a deterrent considering they may not be welcomed by them. That was the case with me.
Reply 2
Original post by ICEcold_Stoic
I once dated a Muslim chick. She was like you, referred to herself as Muslim but wasn't really strict about it per se. Didn't pray, didn't wear hijab etc etc.

In the beginning it didn't matter because - like I said- she wasn't strict about it. If she was then that would have been a problem considering I'm not of her faith.

So to answer your question, it depends entirely on the person. Some are okay with it, others not so much. I suppose their family being religious could serve as a deterrent considering they may not be welcomed by them. That was the case with me.


I understand that. I can see why the unwelcoming family would put you off. My whole family aren't religious though, they would be very welcoming.
Original post by Joey2007uk
I understand that. I can see why the unwelcoming family would put you off. My whole family aren't religious though, they would be very welcoming.

Perhaps the reason you were rejected is simply because they're just not into you. Religious background may not play a part :dontknow:
Reply 4
Original post by ICEcold_Stoic
Perhaps the reason you were rejected is simply because they're just not into you. Religious background may not play a part :dontknow:


Oh I know that. Its one of them where they think I'm good looking, and a good personality but still don't like me. That's girls I suppose lol
Original post by Joey2007uk
Oh I know that. Its one of them where they think I'm good looking, and a good personality but still don't like me. That's girls I suppose lol

Complex creatures women are :lol:
I have no issue with Jewish people. I've grown up around Jewish people my entire life.

My family is Roman Catholic, but we lived in a predominantly Jewish area when I was a kid, we knew many many Jewish people, and we even had a Jewish lady living with us.

So to me personally, I feel very comfortable around Jewish people. I once dated a Jewish lad when I was about 16. I'm very familiar with Jewish customs and so on. I've grown up eating food from the local Jewish deli. And I've got the Hatikvah seared into my brain as the aforementioned Jewish lady who lived with us played it incessantly on our piano :lol:
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 7
In my opinion people are going to read to the full extent of Jewish if you say that you are Jewish but not heavily into it. It's kind of the title that does it, labelling as they say in sociological terms. So if I were you I wouldn't bother mentioning it, kind of move away from any talk of it, up to you though.

Jewish stuff is kind off a distinct area maybe even a little enclosed feeling to many outside the religion. So they might assume that you would wish them to become a part of that and that they may want no part off. Then there's all the historical stuff and that doesn't necessarily sit too comfortably with some who may just want to not get too involved with dealing with it.

So potentially it could be off-putting to those outside the community as many won't feel an inclination to want to involve with that community as they are happy where they are.

Religion can cause all sorts of issues. I used to sit next to a girl who was Roman Catholic in the sixth form. She was dateable and we got on but I didn't really realise as an atheist that her religion might be an issue. I don't think she was really bothered about dating me she had a fair amount of options it seemed. However, me thinking that we could just date if she so wanted, put our beliefs aside and it be a goer was probably a bit ill conceived on my part. She wasn't ardently religious but she followed at least some of the stuff involved. So main thing is, is that it may weigh in more than you think.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
In my opinion people are going to read to the full extent of Jewish if you say that you are Jewish but not heavily into it. It's kind of the title that does it, labelling as they say in sociological terms. So if I were you I wouldn't bother mentioning it, kind of move away from any talk of it, up to you though.

Jewish stuff is kind off a distinct area maybe even a little enclosed feeling to many outside the religion. So they might assume that you would wish them to become a part of that and that they may want no part off. Then there's all the historical stuff and that doesn't necessarily sit too comfortably with some who may just want to not get too involved with dealing with it.

So potentially it could be off-putting to those outside the community as many won't feel an inclination to want to involve with that community as they are happy where they are.

Religion can cause all sorts of issues. I used to sit next to a girl who was Roman Catholic in the sixth form. She was dateable and we got on but I didn't really realise as an atheist that her religion might be an issue. I don't think she was really bothered about dating me she had a fair amount of options it seemed. However, me thinking that we could just date if she so wanted, put our beliefs aside and it be a goer was probably a bit ill conceived on my part. She wasn't ardently religious but she followed at least some of the stuff involved. So main thing is, is that it may weigh in more than you think.


Thanks for the honest reply. It does seem that I would probably best just not mentioning it until they have a chance to get to know me.

I suppose if things turn physical quickly they'll soon realise that I'm Jewish anyway :lol:
Reply 9
To some people it will matter, to others it won't.
Different people often have very different dealbreakers, ambitions and relationship preferences.

With religion and the culture of a household, it's not always just about compatible religious beliefs or a secular personal wanting to avoid preachy/conversions type agendas.
Nor one person choosing the prioritorising of regular/automatic daily compliance with ancient scriptural teachings or faith leader precedents in their own private life.

It can also be about long standing family traditions and other socio-cultural customs that are also prized by atheists who were raised within similar religious households.
This can involve family dynamics, parental approval, weekly routines that involve relatives or family connected celebrations, peceptions of social stigma, type of social life and national citizenship eligibility.
Sometimes also preferred lifestyle preferences when it comes to divisive issues like circumcision, frequent lawful endogamy within the family tree and its consequences for human health or genetic inheritances.
There can also be legal or political elements, particularly where one person is an activist.

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